A way to stop the insanity and lessen the pain: A reformed Chiefaholic's advice

[Yosef_Malkovitch]

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EDIT: I originally posted this after watching the Chiefs blow a 28-point lead in the latest playoff defeat. Given some of the sentiment I've seen on the board today, I thought this might be a good time for a bump.

Most people here don't know me, I've been around since day 1 (literally) of CP, but I almost always just lurk b/c I don't have much to add to the discussion. However, given how much pain this franchise caused me up until 2006, and given how much the advice below helped me live a much happier life during football season, I thought I might throw my 2 cents in.
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I was originally going to post this in one of the numerous “I’m so crushed I no longer care that much” threads, but I thought it might get lost there. I want to pass along some advice that was given to me on this very board many years ago, advice that really changed my life (at least from September through January).

A number of years ago a very wise poster on this board advised me to just turn down my level of caring. I wish I could remember who it was, but he said that if you do that, you can still enjoy the wins but the losses won't get you so much.

I did that over the course of about 8 years starting with the No Punt Game.

I have to say, it's really nice. If you can pull it off, then when the Chiefs win it's a nice bonus for your day but if they lose you just shrug and go on about your business.

Yesterday I spent the commercial breaks doing some work on my laptop and chatting with the guy sitting across from me in the McDonald's where we were watching it. At 38-10 he said, "Well I guess that's the game, huh?" and my response--one borne from years of pain at the hands of this franchise--was to say, "Not with the Chiefs. If anyone can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, it's this team."

Then, when Smith fumbled and the Colts recovered, I just chuckled and told him, "I've seen this song and dance before." Every time Luck completed a pass to a receiver who had no KC player anywhere within 5 yards of him, I shook my head and wondered how some people keep their jobs, but I can't say I was ever really upset about it.

After Bowe was ruled out of bounds I didn't even have much of a reaction, honestly. I just turned back to my laptop and finished what I was working on.

It was nice to not be so vested in this team that the loss ruined my day. I remember many times (such as the 1995 playoff debacle) when I was in agony for days--WEEKS--afterwards. I remember one time punching the floor so hard that I damaged something in my hand and couldn't grip well for several weeks.

Not anymore. Whoever that wise poster was, he saved me from this franchise. I still lurk here all the time, and I listen to the games on the radio while I'm working in the yard or around the house, but I rarely dedicate an entire 3.5 hour block to sitting down and watching a game. The exception is the playoffs; I figure that’s still worth spending the time/effort to watch, although I will try to do something productive during commercials, etc. so I don’t feel like I’ve lost so much if (when) the Chiefs choke again.

I used to be one of the most avid fans. I knew every player’s history, strengths and weaknesses, etc. I kept up on all the details of all the games going on around the league that might in some small way affect the Chiefs. I analyzed every facet of upcoming games and could rattle off various statistics at the drop of a hat. And I was utterly and completely crushed when the Chiefs lost key games over and over again. Such devotion absolutely took a toll on me: the frustration, the anger, even the fights it would cause in my personal life after yet another showing of ineptitude by the Chiefs.

Gaz one time wrote about being speechless with rage. I was right there with him. And then, after the No Punt Game, I realized my life is so much more than just following a group of very wealthy athletes (many of whom I truly believe care less than the fans do) drop game after game, year after year.

The result is I've been able to enjoy the good times and just shake my head and chuckle at the truly awful times. The lack of stress has been wonderful, and I'm no longer so crushed by the latest disaster to come out of KC. I’m attached enough to enjoy the success, but I’m detached enough that the absolute failure doesn’t get to me that much.

Maybe it's time for some of us on this board to try to follow that poster's advice. Many already have, judging from what I've read the last 21 hours.

If you haven't done so already, maybe you should just sit back and consider where football really ranks in your life. Regardless of what happens on Sunday afternoon, it's not going to change your life that much. You’re not going to get a raise or a promotion if they win, and you’re not going to lose your job if they lose. It’s just a game, a way to pass a few hours on Sunday afternoons.

The outcome of a game won’t change your life one way or the other. After the game is over, go for a walk. Have a nice dinner with your family. Make love to your significant other. Read a book. Go to a movie. Play catch with the dog. Spend time with the kids. These are the important things in your life, and none of them are in the slightest bit affected by whether the Chiefs win or lose a game.

Of course I know some people will deride me as a heretic for suggesting that maybe KC Chiefs football isn’t and shouldn’t be the focal point of our lives, but hey, I’m just sharing what was shared with me many years ago. It really helped me. I still enjoy the wins but the losses don’t leave me feeling sick in the pit of my stomach like they used to.

Just a thought.



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TL;DR: I used to passionately follow the Chiefs until someone on the board suggested that I not care so much about it. Over several years I’ve slowly adjusted my level of caring and now I can still enjoy the wins but the losses don’t crush me the way they used to. Try it, if you can, it’s actually pretty enjoyable.
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[cdcox]

Originally Posted by Pam Oliver's Forehead

I felt we had a chance in 1993, 1995, 1997 and 2003.

Maybe we did, maybe we didn't, but the feeling existed within me.

I haven't felt that way since. Hence, not a lot of disappointment.

By '94 I of course meant '93, the playoff loss to Buffalo. Montana gave us a chance, but Buffalo was too loaded on offense during those years. I really think they were the better team.

I thought that Denver and KC were very close in '97. It was the best defense the Chiefs fielded in the Marty/Carl era. The playoff game came down to a few bounces of the ball.

Every other year we were too weak on one side of the ball to be a true contender, IMO.

[Strongside]

I've not reached the point of not caring at all, or quitting. I'll never do that. I love the game and the history of the game too much to consider it. What I have taught myself to do, though, is to drastically shorten the amount of time I spend hurting after a loss. I was at the game, and I've never been through anything like that within a 3 hour span in my life. Ever. I went from a permanent smile at halftime and a feeling of pure elation, to literally feeling numb and that my heart had just been ripped out of my chest...as we all did. After we walked out of the stadium, it was time to move on. That's what I've learned to do.

I now choose to live in the moment. Being emotionally invested in the game is half of the fun for me. Watching a game and not caring for the outcome is just shitty. Why watch at all? 3 hours of my week spent cheering for my team and acting like a fool emotionally isn't unhealthy if you can put the loss behind you and move on. I don't let it ruin my week anymore.

This loss sucks, and badly. I'll never forget it. But I'm not going to let it dictate my happiness either.

Chin up, guys....and don't quit. That's not the answer. Just teach yourself to handle the ups and downs in a different way.

[TEX]

Originally Posted by Yosef_Malkovitch

I was originally going to post this in one of the numerous “I’m so crushed I no longer care that much” threads, but I thought it might get lost there. I want to pass along some advice that was given to me on this very board many years ago, advice that really changed my life (at least from September through January).

A number of years ago a very wise poster on this board advised me to just turn down my level of caring. I wish I could remember who it was, but he said that if you do that, you can still enjoy the wins but the losses won't get you so much.

I did that over the course of about 8 years starting with the No Punt Game.

I have to say, it's really nice. If you can pull it off, then when the Chiefs win it's a nice bonus for your day but if they lose you just shrug and go on about your business.

Yesterday I spent the commercial breaks doing some work on my laptop and chatting with the guy sitting across from me in the McDonald's where we were watching it. At 38-10 he said, "Well I guess that's the game, huh?" and my response--one borne from years of pain at the hands of this franchise--was to say, "Not with the Chiefs. If anyone can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, it's this team."

Then, when Smith fumbled and the Colts recovered, I just chuckled and told him, "I've seen this song and dance before." Every time Luck completed a pass to a receiver who had no KC player anywhere within 5 yards of him, I shook my head and wondered how some people keep their jobs, but I can't say I was ever really upset about it.

After Bowe was ruled out of bounds I didn't even have much of a reaction, honestly. I just turned back to my laptop and finished what I was working on.

It was nice to not be so vested in this team that the loss ruined my day. I remember many times (such as the 1995 playoff debacle) when I was in agony for days--WEEKS--afterwards. I remember one time punching the floor so hard that I damaged something in my hand and couldn't grip well for several weeks.

Not anymore. Whoever that wise poster was, he saved me from this franchise. I still lurk here all the time, and I listen to the games on the radio while I'm working in the yard or around the house, but I rarely dedicate an entire 3.5 hour block to sitting down and watching a game. The exception is the playoffs; I figure that’s still worth spending the time/effort to watch, although I will try to do something productive during commercials, etc. so I don’t feel like I’ve lost so much if (when) the Chiefs choke again.

I used to be one of the most avid fans. I knew every player’s history, strengths and weaknesses, etc. I kept up on all the details of all the games going on around the league that might in some small way affect the Chiefs. I analyzed every facet of upcoming games and could rattle off various statistics at the drop of a hat. And I was utterly and completely crushed when the Chiefs lost key games over and over again. Such devotion absolutely took a toll on me: the frustration, the anger, even the fights it would cause in my personal life after yet another showing of ineptitude by the Chiefs.

Gaz one time wrote about being speechless with rage. I was right there with him. And then, after the No Punt Game, I realized my life is so much more than just following a group of very wealthy athletes (many of whom I truly believe care less than the fans do) drop game after game, year after year.

The result is I've been able to enjoy the good times and just shake my head and chuckle at the truly awful times. The lack of stress has been wonderful, and I'm no longer so crushed by the latest disaster to come out of KC. I’m attached enough to enjoy the success, but I’m detached enough that the absolute failure doesn’t get to me that much.

Maybe it's time for some of us on this board to try to follow that poster's advice. Many already have, judging from what I've read the last 21 hours.

If you haven't done so already, maybe you should just sit back and consider where football really ranks in your life. Regardless of what happens on Sunday afternoon, it's not going to change your life that much. You’re not going to get a raise or a promotion if they win, and you’re not going to lose your job if they lose. It’s just a game, a way to pass a few hours on Sunday afternoons.

The outcome of a game won’t change your life one way or the other. After the game is over, go for a walk. Have a nice dinner with your family. Make love to your significant other. Read a book. Go to a movie. Play catch with the dog. Spend time with the kids. These are the important things in your life, and none of them are in the slightest bit affected by whether the Chiefs win or lose a game.

Of course I know some people will deride me as a heretic for suggesting that maybe KC Chiefs football isn’t and shouldn’t be the focal point of our lives, but hey, I’m just sharing what was shared with me many years ago. It really helped me. I still enjoy the wins but the losses don’t leave me feeling sick in the pit of my stomach like they used to.

Just a thought.



**********************************************************
TL;DR: I used to passionately follow the Chiefs until someone on the board suggested that I not care so much about it. Over several years I’ve slowly adjusted my level of caring and now I can still enjoy the wins but the losses don’t crush me the way they used to. Try it, if you can, it’s actually pretty enjoyable.
**********************************************************

Right dude, you care so little you posted a novel...

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by cdcox

By '94 I of course meant '93, the playoff loss to Buffalo. Montana gave us a chance, but Buffalo was too loaded on offense during those years. I really think they were the better team.

I thought that Denver and KC were very close in '97. It was the best defense the Chiefs fielded in the Marty/Carl era. The playoff game came down to a few bounces of the ball.

Every other year we were too weak on one side of the ball to be a true contender, IMO.

I see what you're saying. Maybe in hindsight that's true.

But at the time, I didn't feel that way. And that's why I was so disappointed.

That's why "getting over" yesterday isn't an issue for me. I simply haven't been emotionally invested all year. It was like an extended exhibition season.

[Valiant]

I quit caring when we got Herm and then followed with pioli and cassel, so the loss did not bother me. I mean, I soooooooooooo hoped they would get the victory, even if they got blown out next week it would have broken the streak.

Nope.

It is what it is, we are the cubs of the NFL.

[GloryDayz]

Originally Posted by TEX

Right dude, you care so little you posted a novel...

That was harsh bro! Doode was sharing, and that's cool...

[Yosef_Malkovitch]

Originally Posted by TEX

Right dude, you care so little you posted a novel...

I'm a lawyer. I write for a living. A lot. *shrug* It's what I do.

I'm just trying to pass along the good advice I got. If it helps anyone like it helped me, then it's all good.

[L.A. Chieffan]

You were watching the game in a McDonald's?

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

I guess I have the advantage. I went down the line and kicked 44 Boars square in the nuts and now I feel all better. Issue resolved until next year.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by L.A. Chieffan

You were watching the game in a McDonald's?

I think he gets a Big Mac for every sack or something. What was that deal?

[Dave Lane]

Originally Posted by Pam Oliver's Forehead

Pioli and Cassel flipped my switch off. I feel no pain today.

I'm scared it's going to get flipped back next year, because Alex Smith gave me hope yesterday for the first time.

Pretty much how I feel the 2003 loss was the last one that really got me. This was ironic comedy. Also knowing that this wasnt a likely contender for a solid SB run helped.

[KCrockaholic]

Clay is saying heartfelt things with no trolling. Incredible.

[Yosef_Malkovitch]

Originally Posted by L.A. Chieffan

You were watching the game in a McDonald's?

Yeah, I was doing a divorce on the side and the McD's where I live has a great play place where my daughter can run around and play. I wanted to keep her entertained while I worked, so that was the best place.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by KCrockaholic

Clay is saying heartfelt things with no trolling. Incredible.

[Yosef_Malkovitch]

I'm not sure if an edit will move this up, soooo.... bump.