This sucks at 58

[Monk]

I normally don't post on here,but damn I need to vent. I have (had) been married to the same woman for over 35 years. Never a major problem in our relationship. Five weeks ago she informs me she wants a divorce as she has met someone and wants something different in her life.

I worked 25 years for Williams Energy, we put two daughters through college and helped them, as we could, get established in life.

So,today was a meeting between the lawyers and I find out I will have to give her the house (paid for ) a car (new) and 1/2 of my pension,savings, and investments. Now all of that was ours 50/50 any way and she did her part in the marriage. Not only does it hurt like hell but now it looks like at 58 I have to start all over again.

Sorry for spelling or grammer but right now I don't care my heart is broken and soon to be homeless (STARTING OVER AT 58 )

[Spott]

Women are just downright evil.

[Lumpy]

Originally Posted by Spott

Women are just downright evil.

And ur point is?

[rockymtnchief]

Win the Powerball, then wave at her everyday as you drive by her house in your new Lamborghini. Don't forget to tell your 28 yr old girlfriend to wave also.

[luv]

Originally Posted by Spott

Women are just downright evil.

Not all of us.


To be married for 35 years, nd just blindside someone? Monk, are you sure there were no signs? Or did you just not see them?

[Jenson71]

Just pretend you inheritated a lot of money from a distant relative in Scotland.

[Monk]

Originally Posted by RJ

Hey Monk, what do you enjoy in life outside of the day to day shit?

Once I was retired and had time I went to studying with a retired violin maker and now I make violins and cellos. They are no Strads but they are played by several studio musicians

[AustinChief]

Originally Posted by Monk

Yes it would be a final settlemnt, the house, car and half of everything else for no further obligations

This is the kicker. Since she has a job now, these obligation (alimony) wouldn't amount to NEARLY what she wants in taking 50% of the home (unless you both live to be 200 and work that entire time...AND remember , alminony ends the minute she remarries)

Here is the formula they TRY to use in CO....

There is a presumed level of temporary alimony in Colorado, in cases where a couple's combined gross annual income is under $75,000. Unless evidence shows a different amount is warranted, at a temporary orders hearing the Colorado family law magistrate will award maintenance equal to 40% of the higher income earner's gross monthly income minus 50% of the lower income earner's gross monthly income. This Colorado alimony formula applies regardless of the length of the marriage.
Example: Pat earns $4000 per month, and Jan earns $1500 per month. Pat's presumptive temporary maintenance payment will be $850 ($1600 - $750) per month, until the permanent orders hearing.
For couples where the combined gross annual income exceeds $75,000, there is no set standard for temporary alimony in Colorado

OK, now... here are the factors used to arrive at the FINAL alimony decision...

(a) The financial resources of the party seeking maintenance, including marital property apportioned to such party, and the party's ability to meet his or her needs independently, including the extent to which a provision for support of a child living with the party includes a sum for that party;
(b) The time necessary to acquire sufficient education or training to enable the party seeking maintenance to find appropriate employment and that party's future earning capacity;
(c) The standard of living established during the marriage;
(d) The duration of the marriage;
(e) The age and the physical and emotional condition of the spouse seeking maintenance; and
(f) The ability of the spouse from whom maintenance is sought to meet his or her needs while meeting those of the spouse seeking maintenance.

a,b, and c work in your favor. d does not. I assume e and f don't affect things either way.

Based on this... if you lived a relatively frugal life (sounds like you did) and she isn't used to expensive trips and cavier dinners... then IF she is earning a decent wage now... you shouldn't be required to pay more than a nominal amount if anything.

If they don't take your counter offer... I would seriously look into a binding metiation. Probably the most fair route and one where half your assets won't go to the lawyers who battle it out in court.

Any form of alternative dispute resolution is better than going into a court battle... but don't fear court so much that you get railroaded... you have a ton of options at this stage.

[Spott]

I would expose myself to the swine flu and then go to your house and drink out of every drink container in the house before using her toothbrush as toilet paper.

[Lumpy]

This may sound a bit hasty, but, if she left any of her possessions in ur house, u could cut them in half and give them to her at the final hearing.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Monk

Colorado

What the - why didn't you come to my draft party? My wife knows all sorts of women she can set you up with.



As a positive, you have two things working in your favor. First, you're at the age where women are starting to outnumber men pretty strongly. You can go to the bar at Elway's restaurant and be pounced on like a ketchup-covered rabbit in a cougar cage. Second, the wife's fling won't work out (they never do), and she'll end up alone because she's at the age where women are starting to outnumber men pretty strongly.

[AustinChief]

Originally Posted by Monk

Again thank you so much, I believe I will check around for a different lawyer

No problem. PM me if you want any further advice... I know Colorado is different from Texas legally, but I just can't see a judge or mediator(<--better choice) not giving you a better deal.

Instead of a new attorney, you may want to call around to some ADR (Alternative dispute resolution) places. Often they are themselves lawyers. Mediation can be expensive, but not as bad as court or getting raped by the opposing offer.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Monk

Once I was retired and had time I went to studying with a retired violin maker and now I make violins and cellos. They are no Strads but they are played by several studio musicians

Oh, man. The women at the bar at Elway's will eat that up.

[RJ]

Originally Posted by Monk

Once I was retired and had time I went to studying with a retired violin maker and now I make violins and cellos. They are no Strads but they are played by several studio musicians

That's excellent! Lots of guys hit retirement age and find out they have no interests outside of their work and family. Not so for you, which is very good news.

So you like scotch and making string instruments. If you get a better lawyer to improve the financial stuff I think you'll be just fine.

Are things still cool between you and your daughters?

[RJ]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Oh, man. The women at the bar at Elway's will eat that up.

No shit. The 58 y/o violin maker drinking scotch at the end of the bar......yeah, he can score.

I'm a little jealous....

[007]

Make sure you get more than one opinion on this. My mother did something similar 17 years ago and my father got an extremely raw deal he still pays for to this day.