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Old 04-21-2014, 09:22 PM   #1
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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I think this is key, for me anyway. I have this perecption that I need to be this outgoing person, out partying all the time, etc.
There's a very stupid perception in society that you're a lesser person if you're not that way.
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Old 04-21-2014, 10:02 PM   #2
SPATCH SPATCH is offline
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Originally Posted by Big Smoke View Post
I think this is key, for me anyway. I have this perecption that I need to be this outgoing person, out partying all the time, etc.

I'm happy with my introverted ways 99% of the time. But when I do go out, I don't want to be crippled by irrational fear.
This is very important to remember.

I had a small bout with anxiety, and it helped me a great deal to examine the fear response itself.

Evolutionarily speaking, having a healthy fear of things and good fear response was pretty important in the event that you rolled out of the cave and heard a saber-toothed tiger nearby. That was rational fear.

And fear has stuck around. Today, for a lot of people, fear manifests itself in circumstances that have no rational basis.

Whenever I found myself getting anxious about strange things like talking over the phone, I found it very helpful to consciously acknowledge the fact the fear I was experiencing was irrational.

After a short time I was able to begin to harness the vagal fear response and sort of just turn it into mild excitement instead.

Whenever the fear strikes you, you can do little things like straighten your back and widen your stance to trick your body into feeling more empowered.
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Old 04-21-2014, 10:12 PM   #3
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It isn't an easy thing to get over. The more social situations you get involved in, the better it will get though. Join a gym, say hi to a random person at the grocery store, meditate. Stop watching porn if you do. Withhold masturbation. You will be surprised by the results.
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Old 04-21-2014, 10:14 PM   #4
ThaVirus ThaVirus is offline
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It isn't an easy thing to get over. The more social situations you get involved in, the better it will get though. Join a gym, say hi to a random person at the grocery store, meditate. Stop watching porn if you do. Withhold masturbation. You will be surprised by the results.

The ****, Peej!?

Why would you ever tell a many not to flog the dolphin? He needs to release the demons!
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Old 04-21-2014, 09:08 PM   #5
ThaVirus ThaVirus is offline
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I used to be shy when I was a kid but I wouldn't go so far as to say I had social anxiety. I just would usually rather listen than speak.

Then I turned 18 and became a stud; now I don't ever shut the **** up.
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Old 04-21-2014, 10:18 PM   #6
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I used to be shy when I was a kid but I wouldn't go so far as to say I had social anxiety. I just would usually rather listen than speak.

Then I turned 18 and became a stud; now I don't ever shut the **** up.
You missed all that pew-tang in H.S. Atleast college pew-tang is more convenient.
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Old 04-21-2014, 10:29 PM   #7
ThaVirus ThaVirus is offline
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You missed all that pew-tang in H.S. Atleast college pew-tang is more convenient.

I really did.

I ended up ****ing 3 chicks within a month or so of losing my virginity. It was strange to go from getting no puhh to swimming in it.
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Old 04-21-2014, 09:13 PM   #8
'Hamas' Jenkins 'Hamas' Jenkins is offline
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I tend not to like loud, chaotic scenes. Because of that I hate concerts, but don't mind sports, as there is a sense of order to the chaos. Smaller scale versions of such things get me antsy: For example, I hate waiting in line at a busy place during a rush--like a Chipotle. It makes me viscerally uncomfortable.

Still, I speak in front of people every day with great ease.
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Old 04-21-2014, 09:15 PM   #9
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins View Post
I tend not to like loud, chaotic scenes. Because of that I hate concerts, but don't mind sports, as there is a sense of order to the chaos. \
People look at me like I'm an alien when I tell them I hate live music.

I'd rather listen at home and truly appreciate the music.

The exception is going to the symphony. You know, where people SHUT THE **** UP.
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Old 04-21-2014, 09:49 PM   #10
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For me, it was pot. When I was a teenager it wasn't much of a deal. But as I got into my thirties, I began to have panic or anxiety attacks. Which is not good if you have to make presentations to groups of various sizes. I enjoyed pot. However, I knew it was the cause and I gave it up in 07'. It took about six months before I didn't feel anxious or flushed speaking in groups. Believe in yourself and battle through it. Things will improve.
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Old 04-21-2014, 10:16 PM   #11
SPATCH SPATCH is offline
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Ahhh the old masturbation debate. A polarizing topic.

Like a lot of things, the best course of action is probably healthy moderation.
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Old 04-21-2014, 10:24 PM   #12
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Panic Attacks

I had my first one when I was in grade school. I had them in a big way all the way through College. I hated being somewhere that I believed I couldn't just get up and walk out of whatever/whenever I wanted to (class rooms, church, meetings, etc). I assume it was/is some form of claustrophobia I suppose. It's also an issue of control. I have a significant need to be in control at all times.

At times, it was so bad that I literally thought I was going to have a heart attack - flop sweats, rapid heart rate, dizziness, etc. I self medicated with prayer, meditation and Jack Daniels - mainly prayer and meditation. Today, I have to talk my way though it and rationalize what I am going through. It calms me down and I manage. At 47, I suppose I will never outgrow it, but I do feel more confident that I can "deal with it" in a less intrusive manner.

If you were to meet me, you would NEVER know this is a part of who I am. I am a very outgoing, Type A personality. I'm not trying to mask it. I just refuse to let it define me as a person and to let it control my life (any more than it already has).
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Old 04-21-2014, 10:35 PM   #13
SPATCH SPATCH is offline
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Oh shit, I just remembered that you're the guy who had the medical scare a few weeks back.

Dude, minimize the fast food/soda and start being a little more active. Taking better care of yourself goes a hell of long way to reinstilling confidence in yourself.
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Old 04-22-2014, 11:49 AM   #14
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Oh shit, I just remembered that you're the guy who had the medical scare a few weeks back.

Dude, minimize the fast food/soda and start being a little more active. Taking better care of yourself goes a hell of long way to reinstilling confidence in yourself.
I'm not in awful shape though. I'm about 5'9 and weigh 176 pounds. Eating healthier might make me feel better physcially though.
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Old 04-22-2014, 11:55 AM   #15
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I'm not in awful shape though. I'm about 5'9 and weigh 176 pounds. Eating healthier might make me feel better physcially though.
How is your sleep? You typically get 8 hours a night? Snore?
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