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Old 11-25-2015, 11:05 AM   #1
Saccopoo Saccopoo is offline
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Originally Posted by Cheater5 View Post
When I had amoebic dysentery from eating haji food in Iraq. Hot magma out of my anus for three days, and yes- I did shit my pants on a mission because of it. Soon after I was in the aid station delirious with IV's jabbed into my cramping arms.

That straight sucked.
Winner. (And I was about to go into my three buckets of garlic mussels and 12 pack of beer in Annapolis for lunch story, but this beats that easy.)
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Old 11-25-2015, 11:15 AM   #2
Lonewolf Ed Lonewolf Ed is offline
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You all do not want to know the details. Ever since my cancer hit me, it has been a totally changed experience and often the thing of nightmares.
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Old 11-25-2015, 11:43 AM   #3
Fairplay Fairplay is offline
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After I read a post by KC native or cosmo my bowels start yearning and a churning and the cramping begins to rumble and tumble.

I make a bee line for the glorious throne to deposit what I just read. I can't hold on to long I've tried a few times and like you have mercifully made it to the poop chair just in time.

I should thank them for never having constipation sometime.
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Old 11-25-2015, 11:45 AM   #4
Saccopoo Saccopoo is offline
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Originally Posted by Lonewolf Ed View Post
You all do not want to know the details. Ever since my cancer hit me, it has been a totally changed experience and often the thing of nightmares.


My best friend this past two months.
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Old 11-25-2015, 02:07 PM   #5
Lonewolf Ed Lonewolf Ed is offline
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My best friend this past two months.
Ohhh, no. I get the runs badly enough from treatment, no need to make the stuff even worse!
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Old 11-25-2015, 03:10 PM   #6
Red Dawg Red Dawg is offline
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This is the play when Kelce dropped the ball. It made me shit bad.
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Old 11-25-2015, 02:00 PM   #7
scho63 scho63 is offline
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POOP THREAD #274

CP'ers sure do love their poop threads.
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Old 11-25-2015, 02:07 PM   #8
beach tribe beach tribe is offline
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What?

Never seen a grown man taking a shit before?
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Old 11-25-2015, 02:09 PM   #9
beach tribe beach tribe is offline
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Old 11-25-2015, 02:18 PM   #10
Mr. Laz Mr. Laz is offline
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You haven't had a real shit until you've had to drink a gallon of that stuff they give you before a surgery.

fair warning ... don't drink it all like they say!!

Drink until you start shitting and then ease back.

You will fill your toilet up with 'MUD' so far that it won't flush.

Dump
flush
Dump
flush

Felt like one of the soft serve ice cream dispensers.

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Old 11-25-2015, 02:41 PM   #11
Carlota69 Carlota69 is offline
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OK, I just had my worst experience about a month ago...

I had been taking these Detoxing pills. They told me I wouldnt have those "emergency moments". HA!

Im on my way home from work, and Im in dead traffic and IT hits me. I have nowhere to go, completely stuck. Then we begin to move, and I jam down a side street trying to take a short cut, to no avail. MORE TRAFIC!. Man, I am holding on for dear life, and I thought for sure I was gonna shit my pants. I mean, IM clinching, punching the steerig wheel, begging outloud to hold on..lol...Finally I see a gas station, on my left, on the other side of the street. Easy access? Hardly. I had to cross all the way over in traffic and then manage to get into left hand turn lane, and the WAIT...AND WAIT...AND WAIT for the light to turn green. FINALLY the light turns green and I U Turn and fly into the gas station parking lot, in full prayer mode "PLease God, Hold on"...Thankfully my prayers were heard, and NO one was in the PUBLIC bathroom. I cant stand going in a public bathroom, but sometimes survival is more important than vanity. And survived is what I did without shitting myself, but wow, I came close. It was horrible.
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Old 11-25-2015, 08:52 PM   #12
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Laz View Post
You haven't had a real shit until you've had to drink a gallon of that stuff they give you before a surgery.

fair warning ... don't drink it all like they say!!

Drink until you start shitting and then ease back.

You will fill your toilet up with 'MUD' so far that it won't flush.

Dump
flush
Dump
flush

Felt like one of the soft serve ice cream dispensers.

My wife had to do this. They told her to drink until she pooped. It took a while, and she drank most of it before it hit her. It was taking long enough we'd called the doctor.

Considering it wasn't me, it was pretty funny.
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Old 11-25-2015, 09:01 PM   #13
2112 2112 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Laz View Post
You haven't had a real shit until you've had to drink a gallon of that stuff they give you before a surgery.

fair warning ... don't drink it all like they say!!

Drink until you start shitting and then ease back.

You will fill your toilet up with 'MUD' so far that it won't flush.

Dump
flush
Dump
flush

Felt like one of the soft serve ice cream dispensers.
The stuff they give you before a colonoscopy? Damn I thought it wouldn't end in time to go to the hospital
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Old 11-25-2015, 02:46 PM   #14
NewChief NewChief is offline
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Similar to the OP. I was on Crete back in 1996 hiking and camping. Came to a resort town called Paleochora and couldn't wait to find a shitter. Finally find one and its a squat above hole in the ground that was absolutely covered in filth. I balked. Things got more and more dire. I finally waddled out onto the beach and went back among the dunes. I dug like a foot deep hole in the sand and proceeded to pretty much fill it to the brim with two days worth of gyros back up.

Feeling immensely relieved, I tore some pages from my journal and wiped up. I stood up and turned around to face away from the ocean and pull up my pants and noticed an entire tour bus group at an overlook, looking down at my site of shame.
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Old 11-25-2015, 02:46 PM   #15
Tribal Warfare Tribal Warfare is offline
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During a 4 hour fraternity trip, I had Montezuma's Revenge so bad that when I finally got to a toilet it looked like I killed a squirrel in the mother****er.
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