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Reload this Page Other Sports Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 20 - Sofa King versus Iowanian
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View Poll Results: Who wins?
Sofa King 35 53.85%
Iowanian 30 46.15%
Voters: 65. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-12-2018, 03:34 PM   #1
Otter Otter is offline
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This is another close one.


Iowanian has always struck me as scrappy. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a year or two of wrestling or some other self defense under his belt.


I actually seen a guy get a face full off Skoal fine cut to the face and it was pretty incapacitating so I'm guessing salt is worse.


Iowanian in a close one.
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Old 07-12-2018, 04:27 PM   #2
Sofa King Sofa King is offline
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This is another close one.


Iowanian has always struck me as scrappy. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a year or two of wrestling or some other self defense under his belt.


I actually seen a guy get a face full off Skoal fine cut to the face and it was pretty incapacitating so I'm guessing salt is worse.


Iowanian in a close one.
I wrestled for 14 years.
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Old 07-12-2018, 04:38 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King View Post
I wrestled for 14 years.

College? What weight?
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Old 07-12-2018, 05:04 PM   #4
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I wrestled for 14 years.
Wow, that was a hard tie to break.
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Old 07-12-2018, 08:22 PM   #5
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King View Post
I wrestled for 14 years.
Sorry I could t respond earlier, I was at boomerang class with chuck Norris

Simple simon..I wrestled 14 years too.....in the big leagues....Iowa. I wrestled terry ficking brands in freestyle when I was a sophomore. You wrestled fat reservation squaws....



I know at first glance you all think I'm a dead man....but know if I go I'll have one of sofas ears in my head as it bounces down the escalator(which reminds me of the story where I knocked a stack of plastic totes full of conference supplies down an escalator in front of 200 people).....


My weapons aren't ideal....you don't have to throw a boomerang.....I'm seeing two curved tomahawks. You've seen the Ghost in The Patriot?

Well....that's not my plan......I'm using more of a braveheart method vs charging Calvary. I don't have long poles to stab this donkey faced snow Mexican....so I'm charging and when he goes to swing high, I'm doing an up-down.......as I hit the ground while he swings over the top the escalator moves me past.....as he tries to turn I'm popping back up and swinging for the brain in the back of his head.


If he's too ninja like the guy with the Judy chops and chew cans on Jerry springer, I hope the goo from my body being splattered infects him with my mojo and gives him my lions roar in the next round.


If I win, I'm taking his credit card and doing some shopping before it gets shut off.
Last edited by Iowanian; 07-12-2018 at 08:31 PM..
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Old 07-12-2018, 08:47 PM   #6
Sofa King Sofa King is offline
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Originally Posted by Iowanian View Post
Sorry I could t respond earlier, I was at boomerang class with chuck Norris

Simple simon..I wrestled 14 years too.....in the big leagues....Iowa. I wrestled terry ficking brands in freestyle when I was a sophomore. You wrestled fat reservation squaws....



I know at first glance you all think I'm a dead man....but know if I go I'll have one of sofas ears in my head as it bounces down the escalator(which reminds me of the story where I knocked a stack of plastic totes full of conference supplies down an escalator in front of 200 people).....


My weapons aren't ideal....you don't have to throw a boomerang.....I'm seeing two curved tomahawks. You've seen the Ghost in The Patriot?

Well....that's not my plan......I'm using more of a braveheart method vs charging Calvary. I don't have long poles to stab this donkey faced snow Mexican....so I'm charging and when he goes to swing high, I'm doing an up-down.......as I hit the ground while he swings over the top the escalator moves me past.....as he tries to turn I'm popping back up and swinging for the brain in the back of his head.


If he's too ninja like the guy with the Judy chops and chew cans on Jerry springer, I hope the goo from my body being splattered infects him with my mojo and gives him my lions roar in the next round.


If I win, I'm taking his credit card and doing some shopping before it gets shut off.
I already told you I’m taking your chicken legs out. You didn’t listen. And you don’t win, bitch.
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Old 07-14-2018, 12:55 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Iowanian View Post
Sorry I could t respond earlier, I was at boomerang class with chuck Norris

Simple simon..I wrestled 14 years too.....in the big leagues....Iowa. I wrestled terry ficking brands in freestyle when I was a sophomore. You wrestled fat reservation squaws....



I know at first glance you all think I'm a dead man....but know if I go I'll have one of sofas ears in my head as it bounces down the escalator(which reminds me of the story where I knocked a stack of plastic totes full of conference supplies down an escalator in front of 200 people).....


My weapons aren't ideal....you don't have to throw a boomerang.....I'm seeing two curved tomahawks. You've seen the Ghost in The Patriot?

Well....that's not my plan......I'm using more of a braveheart method vs charging Calvary. I don't have long poles to stab this donkey faced snow Mexican....so I'm charging and when he goes to swing high, I'm doing an up-down.......as I hit the ground while he swings over the top the escalator moves me past.....as he tries to turn I'm popping back up and swinging for the brain in the back of his head.


If he's too ninja like the guy with the Judy chops and chew cans on Jerry springer, I hope the goo from my body being splattered infects him with my mojo and gives him my lions roar in the next round.


If I win, I'm taking his credit card and doing some shopping before it gets shut off.
You've done a great job promoting yourself - I think I should have done better in that regard, then I'd most likely still be alive and kickin'
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Old 07-12-2018, 05:05 PM   #8
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Son, i am disappoint at the lack of salesmanship from out contestants.
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Old 07-12-2018, 06:34 PM   #9
Sofa King Sofa King is offline
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Son, i am disappoint at the lack of salesmanship from out contestants.
I’m too far ahead. He knows not to show his face in here.
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Old 07-12-2018, 06:44 PM   #10
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Son, i am disappoint at the lack of salesmanship from out contestants.
He was down 4 when I started lobbying for him.

That's what zealous advocacy will do for ya, son...
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Old 07-12-2018, 08:10 PM   #11
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Son, i am disappoint at the lack of salesmanship from out contestants.
Me too. I was hoping he’d be here to battle me.
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Old 07-12-2018, 06:50 PM   #12
Buehler445 Buehler445 is offline
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Plus I think Iowanian could put a B.B. on his eye. Vote goes to iowanian.
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Old 07-12-2018, 08:26 PM   #13
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Old 07-12-2018, 08:28 PM   #14
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Oh yeah....I got a bob gun when I was six years old and spent my entire childhood shooting sparrows in barns and rabbits and grasshoppers.....I'll shoot your eye out, Ralphy.
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Old 07-12-2018, 10:23 PM   #15
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Oh yeah....I got a bob gun when I was six years old and spent my entire childhood shooting sparrows in barns and rabbits and grasshoppers.....I'll shoot your eye out, Ralphy.
How many times do you think you could hit him before he got close enough that you had to throw the bladed boomerang. I think if you had more distance the play would be to hit him and try and take out 30-40% of his movement. That's 7-10 hits though.

At that point throw the salt to mess with his vision and chuck that bladed boomerang. I think in that scenario on an escalator you have a good chance of hitting a guy fighting to see with salt in his eyes and moving at 60% capacity.

Big issue remaining is that even a good shot with the bladed boomerang may very well not be a kill-shot. Then what?
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