Life So, got in a brawl tonight - Page 11

**Iowanian** · 06-29-2013, 10:33 AM

The worst guy I personally know wasn't even in athletics in HS. Not a single sport and he was a complete tool, and he's convinced his kid is an all world 5 tool,5 sport superstar. They definitely aren't teaching that kid anything but to win at all costs, including cheating. They're going to raise a future asshole.

'Hamas' Jenkins · 06-29-2013, 10:33 AM

Just found it too:

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

I've been in lots of fights. A few I've won big time, a few were bloody draws, and most of the rest didn't amount to much. But there was that one time....

Senior year. Got in a shoving match at lunch with a guy who was picking on one of my friends (really small guy who never fought). The bully in question was well hated, and a fight between us was set for Friday night at the fairgrounds. Fights like this are prime entertainment in small towns, and a good chunk of the high school showed up to watch. Prior to the fight, I listened to Eye of the Tiger (this was 1983) over and over to get psyched out. A friend picked me up. My friend convinced me that I needed to relax (MORON) and handed me a pint of Southern Comfort and a joint. I hit both doob and bottle hard, and was completely fucked up when we reached the fairgrounds. My friend's van door slides open, I stagger out amid a cloud of pot smoke, take a swing at the guy, miss by a mile, fall over, and then get beat bloody in front of EVERYBODY. I was lucky I didn't lose any teeth, but I had two black eyes, and bruised and blooded everything on my face.

My friends cleaned me up as best they could and dumped me off at home. I was still drunk and high, and scratched the hell out of the front door trying to open it. Finally, I got the key in, turned the knob, pushed open the door and fell flat on my face on the living room floor. When I opened my eyes, I saw my stepmom's toes in front of my face. I looked up at her and said "AW, fuck."

So, on top of getting a humiliating asskicking in front of the entire school by a complete asshole, I got grounded for two weeks for getting drunk and fighting (luckily no one detected the pot, or I'm sure I would have got a second beating that night).

The good news - apparently the bully wasn't particularly impressive in beating my semi-conscious body, and somebody else kicked his ass shortly thereafter. He quit bothering people. I also challenged him to a rematch, which he declined. Further, I didn't make excuses - I took my lumps and post-fight abuse like a man. So I learned two important life lessons - never fight when you're drunk/high, and if you get your ass kicked, be honest about it.

MOhillbilly · 06-29-2013, 10:33 AM

Nothing shuts a big mouth up like a sucker punch.

**loochy** · 06-29-2013, 10:34 AM

This reminds me of an incident that occurred back when I used to coach little league up in Canada.

I was an assistant coach and for the most part I was in charge of teaching the kids how to hit. I was really good at giving them instructions that I could relate to; in fact I was so good that they started calling me "Hitman."

Anyhow, there was this constant loudmouth dad. I think his name was Shawn or Michael or something like that. He was always generally disrespectful and he thought he was God's gift to women with his long lair. All of the other parents hated him too. He would parade around and call himself "Sexy Boy" and talk about inappropriate subjects with his friend Hunter.

Well, one day he took it too far and started disrespecting Canada (he was from the USA). I told him that I'd had enough of his crap and to not mess with the Hitman. He challenged me to throw down. I went to take off my awesome pink shaded sunglasses (it was the mid 90s) and hand them to one of the kids so they wouldn't get broken in the fight. Well, when I turned around Shawn grabbed a folding chair and swung it at me. I happened to see him out of the corner of my eye so I had time to duck. While he was off balance from his miss, I gave him a quick kick to the stomach. As he was doubled over from the kick, I landed a quick uppercut that sent him sprawling. I hastily climbed the dugout fence and jumped down on him with a flying elbow. This kept him down, but he was still mouthing off. I decided to apply a move my dad Stu taught me. It was a leglock we called "the Sharpshooter." I got the Sharpshooter locked in. After about 5 seconds, Shawn had had enough. He tapped out and vowed to never come back. All of the other parents in the stands were cheering me. I reminded Shawn that "I am the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be." As soon as I said that, the announcer guy played a cool heavy metal song over the loudspeakers.

After that debacle, I moved on to another less successful little league. I retired quickly afterward though and I was never able to replicate the success I had in the original little league.

'Hamas' Jenkins · 06-29-2013, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loochy

This reminds me of an incident that occurred back when I used to coach little league up in Canada.

I was an assistant coach and for the most part I was in charge of teaching the kids how to hit. I was really good at giving them instructions that I could relate to; in fact I was so good that they started calling me "Hitman."

Anyhow, there was this constant loudmouth dad. I think his name was Shawn or Michael or something like that. He was always generally disrespectful and he thought he was God's gift to women with his long lair. All of the other parents hated him too. He would parade around and call himself "Sexy Boy" and talk about inappropriate subjects with his friend Hunter.

Well, one day he took it too far and started disrespecting Canada (he was from the USA). I told him that I'd had enough of his crap and to not mess with the Hitman. He challenged me to throw down. I went to take off my awesome pink shaded sunglasses (it was the mid 90s) and hand them to one of the kids so they wouldn't get broken in the fight. Well, when I turned around Shawn grabbed a folding chair and swung it at me. I happened to see him out of the corner of my eye so I had time to duck. While he was off balance from his miss, I gave him a quick kick to the stomach. As he was doubled over from the kick, I landed a quick uppercut that sent him sprawling. I hastily climbed the dugout fence and jumped down on him with a flying elbow. This kept him down, but he was still mouthing off. I decided to apply a move my dad Stu taught me. It was a leglock we called "the Sharpshooter." I got the Sharpshooter locked in. After about 5 seconds, Shawn had had enough. He tapped out and vowed to never come back. All of the other parents in the stands were cheering me. I reminded Shawn that "I am the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be." As soon as I said that, the announcer guy played a cool heavy metal song over the loudspeakers.

After that debacle, I moved on to another less successful little league. I retired quickly afterward though and I was never able to replicate the success I had in the original little league.

He leaves out the part where he kicks the ass of the Little League Commissioner after said fight.

**loochy** · 06-29-2013, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins

He leaves out the part where he kicks the ass of the Little League Commissioner after said fight.

Oh yeah. I spit on the commissioner and I kicked over a table with a TV monitor.

**ShortRoundChief** · 06-29-2013, 10:38 AM

I think what tooge did is perfectly acceptable. Economy is slow, he's drumming up business for himself.

**Bowser** · 06-29-2013, 10:40 AM

Fantastic thread; would read again.

9.5/10

Sully · 06-29-2013, 10:43 AM

So you got into the altercation with the parent outside of the view of the boys?
How did he get there?

'Hamas' Jenkins · 06-29-2013, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sully

So you got into the altercation with the parent outside of the view of the boys?
How did he get there?

Sir, he took it from the mess hall, sir!

Titty Meat · 06-29-2013, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikeyis4dcats.

personally, I think you should resign your coaching position. you are not suitable to be a role model for young children.

This. You're also lucky you didn't catch a fade from that lunatic. How would you explain that to your child? Best thing to do would be have the parent escorted and banned from games in the future.

BlackHelicopters · 06-29-2013, 11:16 AM

Was it a league game?

tooge · 06-29-2013, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theelusiveeightrop

Was it a league game?

It was a league game. Update: deuche dad didn't come to our game today and neither did his son. Parents were thrilled.

**BigRedChief** · 06-29-2013, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tooge

It was a league game. Update: deuche dad didn't come to our game today and neither did his son. Parents were thrilled.

beach tribe · 06-29-2013, 11:24 AM

God, I used to love to fight.
There really isnt anything more exhilarating.
Lucky I never got hurt.
Ran with some BAD MFers.

06-29-2013, 10:33 AM	#1
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1818454	The worst guy I personally know wasn't even in athletics in HS. Not a single sport and he was a complete tool, and he's convinced his kid is an all world 5 tool,5 sport superstar. They definitely aren't teaching that kid anything but to win at all costs, including cheating. They're going to raise a future asshole.
Posts: 62,924

06-29-2013, 10:33 AM	#3
MOhillbilly Mama Tried Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Missouri Casino cash: $9949903	Nothing shuts a big mouth up like a sucker punch. __________________ True Son of Liberty
Posts: 23,371

06-29-2013, 10:34 AM	#4
loochy Hey Loochy, I'm hooome! Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: PooPooKaKaPeePeeShire Casino cash: $-1519603	This reminds me of an incident that occurred back when I used to coach little league up in Canada. I was an assistant coach and for the most part I was in charge of teaching the kids how to hit. I was really good at giving them instructions that I could relate to; in fact I was so good that they started calling me "Hitman." Anyhow, there was this constant loudmouth dad. I think his name was Shawn or Michael or something like that. He was always generally disrespectful and he thought he was God's gift to women with his long lair. All of the other parents hated him too. He would parade around and call himself "Sexy Boy" and talk about inappropriate subjects with his friend Hunter. Well, one day he took it too far and started disrespecting Canada (he was from the USA). I told him that I'd had enough of his crap and to not mess with the Hitman. He challenged me to throw down. I went to take off my awesome pink shaded sunglasses (it was the mid 90s) and hand them to one of the kids so they wouldn't get broken in the fight. Well, when I turned around Shawn grabbed a folding chair and swung it at me. I happened to see him out of the corner of my eye so I had time to duck. While he was off balance from his miss, I gave him a quick kick to the stomach. As he was doubled over from the kick, I landed a quick uppercut that sent him sprawling. I hastily climbed the dugout fence and jumped down on him with a flying elbow. This kept him down, but he was still mouthing off. I decided to apply a move my dad Stu taught me. It was a leglock we called "the Sharpshooter." I got the Sharpshooter locked in. After about 5 seconds, Shawn had had enough. He tapped out and vowed to never come back. All of the other parents in the stands were cheering me. I reminded Shawn that "I am the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be." As soon as I said that, the announcer guy played a cool heavy metal song over the loudspeakers. After that debacle, I moved on to another less successful little league. I retired quickly afterward though and I was never able to replicate the success I had in the original little league. __________________ Hey Loochy, I'm hoooome!
Posts: 42,029	1 0

06-29-2013, 10:38 AM	#7
ShortRoundChief Embrace the love Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Joplin Casino cash: $4197192	I think what tooge did is perfectly acceptable. Economy is slow, he's drumming up business for himself.
Posts: 33,927

06-29-2013, 10:40 AM	#8
Bowser sorta mod-ish Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: KC North Casino cash: $-18384	Fantastic thread; would read again. 9.5/10
Posts: 106,610

06-29-2013, 10:43 AM	#9
Sully It Goes On Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Lees Summit Casino cash: $10026331	So you got into the altercation with the parent outside of the view of the boys? How did he get there? __________________ "And I don't wish that girl any bad luck," he said, "but I hope she gets hit with a car." - Tommy Lasorda
Posts: 18,295

06-29-2013, 11:16 AM	#12
BlackHelicopters Spiraling down the Drain Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Dante's Ninth Circle Casino cash: $-679412	Was it a league game? __________________ "We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family." "Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever." 2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87
Posts: 33,277

06-29-2013, 11:24 AM	#15
beach tribe Keep doubting J MFing Houston Join Date: May 2007 Location: ft.lauderdale Casino cash: $4018036	God, I used to love to fight. There really isnt anything more exhilarating. Lucky I never got hurt. Ran with some BAD MFers.
Posts: 21,429