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Old 12-24-2012, 09:05 AM   #1
notorious notorious is offline
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Originally Posted by Reerun_KC View Post
21 years in 3 days....
Maybe I have been with women that have been ****ed over. All of them were snoopy.


I don't care what's on her computer/phone. I am secure with my trust in her.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:12 AM   #2
Reerun_KC Reerun_KC is offline
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Originally Posted by notorious View Post
Maybe I have been with women that have been ****ed over. All of them were snoopy.


I don't care what's on her computer/phone. I am secure with my trust in her.
Same here, I dont do anything that would break her trust either...

She can have my phone and take it for the day or week... I would enjoy the peace. LOL!
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:19 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by Reerun_KC View Post
Same here, I dont do anything that would break her trust either...

She can have my phone and take it for the day or week... I would enjoy the peace. LOL!
If the revelation of any issues come from the reading of another person's phone, it's time for the reader to admit their intuition Mojo is all but empty. And for readers who play hurt over the content of said information, they should realize that it's not the content they should be worried about, but the lack of fidelity they've been living with for some period of time..

What they might find in the phone is usually a symptom of a problem, not the real problem.
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Old 12-24-2012, 08:30 AM   #4
CoMoChief CoMoChief is offline
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just talk crap on hers.

jk

It does seem you have major trust issues though. reading other people's text msgs is what chicks do
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Old 12-24-2012, 08:35 AM   #5
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Yes, you have to talk to her or it'll fester and get worse. It doesn't need to be an argument, but if that's where she takes it, so be it. But like affairs where so many people want to make it about the sex (which is totally irrelevant in the grand scheme of things), keep this about what might be the bigger issue - her inability to talk to you. Nobody's perfect, so you're mother may not be a 5-StarChef, but I'll bet she is... Being critical of others isn't ever a good idea, but letting it extend to the family of the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with, and whose family is prolly part of the package, is scary.

Sorry to say it, but what you're seeing here might just be the oil and water that you two are. IOW, it might not be the family at all really..

Oh, and if invading their privacy to find out the truth is the only way, so be it. Just be ready for that to be the focal point of the conversation, not her dislike of your family, it's an easy out for her. Deflection of the truth, it's a common tactic...

Maybe she knew you would snoop, and decided this is just a simpler way to tell you.. ???
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Old 12-24-2012, 08:39 AM   #6
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Tell her that her sister/cousin tried to blow you. That should get the focus off of your family
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Old 12-24-2012, 08:39 AM   #7
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I guarantee this thread isn't going to be about what the thread title might have led you to think it's about. Sorry about that...

Anyway -- was reading text messages on my fiance's cell phone (Yes, I do that, I'm a privacy invader...but past relationships have led me to be a little paranoid).

I read texts between her and her sister and mom, basically trashing my family, which is who we're spending Christmas Eve with. It wasn't just like your usual, "not really looking forward to going to the in-laws", but it was actually pretty vicious stuff. She was trashing my mom's cooking, basically saying she doesn't like my mom at all (my family has been AMAZING to her)..complaining that all we do is "sit around and talk with a sports game on the TV), trashing my parents house, my sister and her "annoying kid". It was really nasty stuff and a side of her I haven't really seen before.

Question is -- do I confront her? This is all that's gonna be on my mind tomorrow, but confronting her means I have to admit to reading her text messages. I don't know how I can move forward knowing she's been talking all this shit about my family though.
I think going through someone's private things is a damned good reason for her to dump you. I can have zero respect for people like this. Its happened to me and it sucks.
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Old 12-24-2012, 08:47 AM   #8
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I do agree w/ talking to her about it before you're married.

breaking it off now (if it came to that, hopefully not) would be much less aggrevating on you and her...than it would had you gotten hitched and then address the issue.
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Old 12-24-2012, 08:49 AM   #9
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Old 12-24-2012, 08:50 AM   #10
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If you actually like your family and want to have a good relationship with them, then it's a dealbreaker for me because that rift is just going to get worse as time goes on and it causes all sorts of problems for your marriage. I can't imagine being married to someone who didn't get along well with my family, especially my mom. Thankfully I'm blessed to have a wife who actually does a better job of maintaining our relationship with my family than I do.

If you don't really give a shit about your family and the relationship you have with them in the future, then don't worry about it.

That being said: shame on you for going through her texts.
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Old 12-24-2012, 08:52 AM   #11
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If you do decide to approach her about the unkind texts then starting off by telling her you understand your actions of snooping isn't appropriate and explain why you felt you need to.

This won't make it any easier, but it may allow you then to bring up the bigger issue. Her feelings for your family.

Good luck this could very well test your relationship. If you have to snoop around and she has to lie then there are apparently deeper issues going on.
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Old 12-24-2012, 08:56 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Codered View Post
If you do decide to approach her about the unkind texts then starting off by telling her you understand your actions of snooping isn't appropriate and explain why you felt you need to.

This won't make it any easier, but it may allow you then to bring up the bigger issue. Her feelings for your family.

Good luck this could very well test your relationship. If you have to snoop around and she has to lie then there are apparently deeper issues going on.
This and keep her on topic. When she, undoubtedly, tries to veer the conversation onto your snooping just tell her, "We will get to that in a second," and reiterate your question. Once she explains her side of the story and you feel you two are on common ground with that issue, prepare for her to be as judgmental about your snooping as you were about what you found. Hope it works out for you man.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:14 AM   #13
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You should definitely confront her. She deserves to know she is marrying a man who does things like read her text messages.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:19 AM   #14
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Dude...deal with it NOW. You do NOT want to get married with that unresolved. The reason I'm using CAPS is because that is exactly how my ex-wife acted before we were married. Lookoing back on it, it should have been a huge red flag. Not just a warning about gettting along with my family, but about her character as a whole.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:20 AM   #15
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Good God Don't out yourself. Get out its over treat her like a prostitute. Dude you will have to beat her away. They love that shit. I would just hate **** the shit out of her while you explore your options. Maybe dry run her ass a couple of times. She will brag about this shit and her "pigeons" will flock. Then you have a endless supply of flowers to polinate.
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