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Old 11-14-2014, 10:25 PM  
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LNBS: "Beast mode." **** you, Seattle
I realize this is my "DOLPHIN WEARING A FOOTBALL HELMET" moment because I've posted about this a couple times, but it deserves to be brought up again this week.

Seattle has a really unintelligent fan base. And I don't mean in terms of football. It's clear they're not deficient in that area. I mean in terms of intelligence and creativity. They have none of those two things.

They've got a pretty good RB who runs hard. Good for them. They want to give him a nickname. Skittles is funny. But no, they want something TOUGH-sounding. What would do the trick? Here's what they came up with:

Beast Mode.

Is that from a video game? No, that's God Mode, which is far cooler, but it wouldn't be as accessible religious people, I suppose. Or a movie or something? Is that like what the Incredible Hulk is? It's not, is it? You just thought that would be a good name for him. I get that Lynch was unstoppable in that 7-9 year where he raped the Saints. That doesn't give you an excuse come up with a shitty fan name for him and then force everybody else to use it, too.

Your stupid fan base couldn't **** that up any harder if they tried to come up with a scary name for their defense.

OH WAIT THEY DID. Legion of Boom?

Did you know that Houston Rockets fans had a name for Chandler Parsons? They called him Chandler Bang, like Chandler Bing from Friends. Why? Because, uh... Bang... he's really good at sports? Or something. Like you know... Bang! The sound you get from firing your gun in the air because Parsons just made a 3-point shot!

Legion of Boom is worse than that. It's dumber than that. It's almost as dumb as Beast Mode.

I just hired the same 8-year old that comes up with crap for your players to give Chiefs players some names. Here's what he came up with:

Alex Smith: Iron Man
Jamaal Charles: Speed Demon
Dontari Poe: Great Wall of Pain
Eric Berry: Really Really Good Football Player
The Chiefs Defense: Joint Chiefs of Boom

Go fist a cow, Seattle.
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Old 11-15-2014, 10:49 AM   #151
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The Puff-Puff-Pass-Rush is the best nickname in all of football.

Ever.
Dolphin Rape Cave is more inclusive to our non-pot smoking pass rushers.
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I have completely given up on Alex Smith as a qb. Its painful to watch. Like, worse than watching Colt McCoy.
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Old 11-15-2014, 10:59 AM   #152
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Old 11-15-2014, 11:09 AM   #153
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I have completely given up on Alex Smith as a qb. Its painful to watch. Like, worse than watching Colt McCoy.
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Old 11-15-2014, 11:10 AM   #154
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Stolen.
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Fair and balanced. A mod people can be proud of.
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Old 11-15-2014, 11:30 AM   #155
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Haha jeez, I definitely have never seen Sorter act so goofy. I like it.
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Old 11-15-2014, 11:35 AM   #156
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MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGAAAAAAAAA!!!

The Dolphin Rape Cave Cry.
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Old 11-15-2014, 11:47 AM   #157
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The only nickname I have seen so far that I like is Joint Chiefs.
The Joint Chiefs of Wrath.
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Old 11-15-2014, 11:48 AM   #158
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Detoxing View Post
The Puff-Puff-Pass-Rush is the best nickname in all of football.

Ever.
I like this one too.
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Old 11-15-2014, 11:52 AM   #159
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MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGAAAAAAAAA!!!

The Dolphin Rape Cave Cry.
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I have completely given up on Alex Smith as a qb. Its painful to watch. Like, worse than watching Colt McCoy.
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:00 PM   #160
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Elliot Harrison at NFL.com of all people, picked us to win and he has some very interesting stats comparing Russel Wilson to Alex Smith...

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap300...riots-stay-hot
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:04 PM   #161
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Hitler started hating Jews in college.
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:05 PM   #162
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Dontari "The Hippo" Poe.
Bring the hippo in for a look?
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:11 PM   #163
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:11 PM   #164
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Dare I say it? This thread went beast mode.
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Old 11-15-2014, 12:12 PM   #165
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Dare I say it? This thread went beast mode.
There's pure Thunder Chicken in them clouds.
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