Ask Iowanian. Pt II, the Keyboard of Doom - Page 13

**Iowanian** · 01-29-2004, 02:46 PM

If you've got a problem, yo Ahll Solve it, check out my hooks, while DJ revolves it..tss tss ts tss tst

If Dr Laura, Dr Phil or Ann Landers couldn't help you.....Serve it up.

Its the offseason, the board needs something other than politics. This thread, and the answers will go where you take it. A serious Question....I'll try to help, and or rely on others......A not serious question....You'll get what you ask for.

disclaimer: Iowanian is not a licensed Doctor, Psychologist or anything else. No responsibility shall be taken by advisors on any issue within the thread. The answer "I have no #@%&* idea " is valid and acceptable for these purposes. If the thread sucks, it shall fade into planet oblivion.

**RNR** · 01-14-2005, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ROYC75

Dear Iowanian,

I have a son of 20 yrs of age. He has met this girl on the internet and has set up a night of whatever he chooses ( in his words ). He has gone as far as wanting to house this girl for 3 nights and 3 days, all in the comforts of our house.

The wife and I balked at this and not to our suprised, he cried foul.

Are we at fault ?

Signed,
Confused with young'ns !

To each their own, I would not allow it. Your son may get the shock of his life to find out he has been typing dirty with a fat 50 year old man

**Iowanian** · 01-14-2005, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ROYC75

Dear Iowanian,

I have a son of 20 yrs of age. He has met this girl on the internet and has set up a night of whatever he chooses ( in his words ). He has gone as far as wanting to house this girl for 3 nights and 3 days, all in the comforts of our house.

The wife and I balked at this and not to our suprised, he cried foul.

Are we at fault ?

Signed,
Confused with young'ns !

Iowanian's parental units always had the rule that "while under our roof,thy shall follow our rules". Those rules discouraged overnight stays by female counterparts, however they were welcomed to stay in another room, unless married.

Jr just has a chub you couldn't cut with a chainsaw with anticipation. I'd be apt to encourage the duckling to pursue dating activities, however I would be inclided to agree that it might not be a great idea, in this day and age to bring someone you don't know, into your home for 3 days.

Initially, It might be a fair compromise to offer 1 day and 1 night, under your rules. Additional nights, can be spent by 2 consenting adults in a hotel, which someone over 25 may have to rent(which is stoopid in mah opinion). Maybe let them stay in the camper out back so the boy can soak his stubbed pecker in cider.

You should probably talk with him about the possibilities of what he may find if/when he meets said "internet girl". Hot, Rational ladies of sound mind, who aren't looking for something don't cruise the net for 20 year old males who live at home. She might have a larger dong than he does.

Probably be cheaper and less hassle to take him to a juice bar for this education.

01-14-2005, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

You should probably talk with him about the possibilities of what he may find if/when he meets said "internet girl". Hot, Rational ladies of sound mind, who aren't looking for something don't cruise the net for 20 year old males who live at home. She might have a larger dong than he does.

That's what scares me. Poor guy might be losing the wrong cherry.

**Iowanian** · 01-14-2005, 12:49 PM

I think his head broke the hymen a long time ago..It shouldn't hurt him too much.

yunghungwell · 01-14-2005, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I'd be apt to encourage the duckling to pursue dating activities, however I would be inclided to agree that it might not be a great idea, in this day and age to bring someone you don't know, into your home for 3 days.

I have to agree. This "girl" might steal Jr's virginity and then proceed to steal anything of value that you have in your house.

Yung "My turds sink" HungWell

**Saulbadguy** · 01-14-2005, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ROYC75

20 .........

I don't understand her Mom....

My parents wouldn't allow it, but i'm not a believer in what is good for me is what is good for your son. Of course I have no frame of reference. At age 18 I was out of the house already, and my parents didn't care after that. They just said they didn't want any Saul Jr's running around their house anytime soon.

Although...she is 20. He is 20. They should be able to scrape enough money together to meet halfway and get a Super 6 Sleep 'N fuck and a couple of meals. I would say "not in my house." Not because my parents said it, but because:

A) I would not want to hear or see my parents doing the nasty. I don't like to think about it.

B) I would offer them the same courtesy they offered me.

The end.

01-14-2005, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saulbadguy

My parents wouldn't allow it, but i'm not a believer in what is good for me is what is good for your son. Of course I have no frame of reference. At age 18 I was out of the house already, and my parents didn't care after that. They just said they didn't want any Saul Jr's running around their house anytime soon.

Although...she is 20. He is 20. They should be able to scrape enough money together to meet halfway and get a Super 6 Sleep 'N fuck and a couple of meals. I would say "not in my house." Not because my parents said it, but because:

A) I would not want to hear or see my parents doing the nasty. I don't like to think about it.

B) I would offer them the same courtesy they offered me.

The end.

I know I give you and a bunch of other people around here a lot of shit, but I think you're a pretty decent guy - for a young punk. Heh. That was a quality post.

**Saulbadguy** · 01-15-2005, 01:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

I know I give you and a bunch of other people around here a lot of shit, but I think you're a pretty decent guy - for a young punk. Heh. That was a quality post.

Hey, don't mention it. I think you are a pretty old guy, for a decent punk.

**Iowanian** · 02-11-2005, 02:52 PM

I know III is about to have a major life problem, and I'm bored.........hit me with your best shot.

**Saulbadguy** · 02-11-2005, 02:55 PM

Dear Dr IOWANIN :

How come wal-mart's produce isn't very good?

HarryParatestes · 02-11-2005, 02:59 PM

My Supervisor is a very sweet woman. But she's a...shall we say ..."substantial" sized woman. Not too big....5' 6" and maybe 230 lbs.

( I like to say the face of an angel..the body of a linebacker )

But I digress. It's a constant 75 degrees in our lab. Quite comfy, but she is ALWAYS cold! Shivering, hunkering down over her personal heater, bitchin' about freezing cold!

How can a woman with that much "insulation" be constantly cold?

**Iowanian** · 02-11-2005, 02:59 PM

Saul,
While I'm not positive on the exact problem with Walmart's produce selection, I'll make this observation.

A vast majority of items available at the aforementioned outlet of affordable merchandise is purchased in bulk from CHINA.

In China, tactics for growing vegetables and animals for consumption are less than may be desired in the continental US. An example might be that the lettuce salad you're eating now, was actually grown on a mound in the middle of a septic tank hole in the ground.

My second guess would be that the produce has been touched by numerous members of the butt picking horde of nohandwashers that fondled that fruit prior to you eating it without washing it properly.

**Iowanian** · 02-11-2005, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HarryParatestes

My Supervisor is a very sweet woman. But she's a...shall we say ..."substantial" sized woman. Not too big....5' 6" and maybe 230 lbs.

( I like to say the face of an angel..the body of a linebacker )

But I digress. It's a constant 75 degrees in our lab. Quite comfy, but she is ALWAYS cold! Shivering, hunkering down over her personal heater, bitchin' about freezing cold!

How can a woman with that much "insulation" be constantly cold?

Simple.

The amounts of sweets this brontasaurus has consumed has turned her blood into a cholesterol thickened Gravy. This thickening of the blood and hardening of the arteries have restricted the circulation to her extremities.

Thats mah guess.

**Saulbadguy** · 02-11-2005, 03:04 PM

Dear Dr IOWANAIN:

The poster formely known as Gunther_Fan has revealed his ugly face to this board once again. Should I blow his cover and reveal his identity, or should I make a game out of it (further than i already have..)

**Iowanian** · 02-11-2005, 03:22 PM

Saul,

If that Particular Poster has again shown face on the board, under a new name, Most regulars won't take long to pick up the scent.

The biggest problem Iowanian foresees with his change to yet another username, is how to work it into the next poem dedicated to that poster. If you are inclined to reveal the information in Saul's very own version of "username hangman", do so, knowing that you could draw the wrath of Tony Gonfreaquilizer_fan, and may even incur such undesirable punishment as a whisker burn on your belly from his massive Moustachio.

01-29-2004, 02:46 PM
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1638454	Ask Iowanian. Pt II, the Keyboard of Doom If you've got a problem, yo Ahll Solve it, check out my hooks, while DJ revolves it..tss tss ts tss tst If Dr Laura, Dr Phil or Ann Landers couldn't help you.....Serve it up. Its the offseason, the board needs something other than politics. This thread, and the answers will go where you take it. A serious Question....I'll try to help, and or rely on others......A not serious question....You'll get what you ask for. disclaimer: Iowanian is not a licensed Doctor, Psychologist or anything else. No responsibility shall be taken by advisors on any issue within the thread. The answer "I have no #@%&* idea " is valid and acceptable for these purposes. If the thread sucks, it shall fade into planet oblivion.
Posts: 62,945

01-14-2005, 12:49 PM	#184
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1638454	I think his head broke the hymen a long time ago..It shouldn't hurt him too much.
Posts: 62,945

02-11-2005, 02:52 PM	#189
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1638454	I know III is about to have a major life problem, and I'm bored.........hit me with your best shot.
Posts: 62,945

02-11-2005, 02:55 PM	#190
Saulbadguy When a nightmare becomes real Join Date: Nov 2003 Casino cash: $736966	Dear Dr IOWANIN : How come wal-mart's produce isn't very good? __________________ http://www.goemaw.com
Posts: 47,020

02-11-2005, 02:59 PM	#191
HarryParatestes Starter Join Date: Jun 2003 Casino cash: $10004900	Drea Iowan My Supervisor is a very sweet woman. But she's a...shall we say ..."substantial" sized woman. Not too big....5' 6" and maybe 230 lbs. ( I like to say the face of an angel..the body of a linebacker ) But I digress. It's a constant 75 degrees in our lab. Quite comfy, but she is ALWAYS cold! Shivering, hunkering down over her personal heater, bitchin' about freezing cold! How can a woman with that much "insulation" be constantly cold? __________________ Harry Paratestes: President, Vice President, Treasurer, Seargent -at-Arms, Sole Member, North Alabama Chiefs Fan Club
Posts: 684

02-11-2005, 02:59 PM	#192
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1638454	Saul, While I'm not positive on the exact problem with Walmart's produce selection, I'll make this observation. A vast majority of items available at the aforementioned outlet of affordable merchandise is purchased in bulk from CHINA. In China, tactics for growing vegetables and animals for consumption are less than may be desired in the continental US. An example might be that the lettuce salad you're eating now, was actually grown on a mound in the middle of a septic tank hole in the ground. My second guess would be that the produce has been touched by numerous members of the butt picking horde of nohandwashers that fondled that fruit prior to you eating it without washing it properly.
Posts: 62,945

02-11-2005, 03:04 PM	#194
Saulbadguy When a nightmare becomes real Join Date: Nov 2003 Casino cash: $736966	Dear Dr IOWANAIN: The poster formely known as Gunther_Fan has revealed his ugly face to this board once again. Should I blow his cover and reveal his identity, or should I make a game out of it (further than i already have..) __________________ http://www.goemaw.com
Posts: 47,020

02-11-2005, 03:22 PM	#195
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1638454	Saul, If that Particular Poster has again shown face on the board, under a new name, Most regulars won't take long to pick up the scent. The biggest problem Iowanian foresees with his change to yet another username, is how to work it into the next poem dedicated to that poster. If you are inclined to reveal the information in Saul's very own version of "username hangman", do so, knowing that you could draw the wrath of Tony Gonfreaquilizer_fan, and may even incur such undesirable punishment as a whisker burn on your belly from his massive Moustachio.
Posts: 62,945