Rejected Penthouse Letters - Page 2

**Baby Lee** · 05-24-2005, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Another time, Mom left the Sears catalog lying around the house and went to the grocery store. I had about 45 minutes to view the ladies underwear section.

I wasn't so much titillated by the pictures, as I was by the byline.

"also in nude."

Ignorant little prick that I was, I didn't know nude was a color.

So my thought was, "well why don't they show THOSE pictures instead?

shakesthecat · 10-02-2002, 11:51 AM

One time, I was driving back from Colorado, when a blizzard shut down the Interstate and forced me to find a motel room in Lincoln, Nebraska.
Well wouldn't you know, the guy in the room next to mine gets a knock on the door about 10:00, and sure enough, it was a hooker.

I don't need to tell you how thrilling it was to have a honest-to-goodness call girl right next door.
Fortunately, the wall was paper thin, so it was just like having her in my room.

Man! Whadda night!

All true! 100% I only wish I were making it up.

**Rain Man** · 10-02-2002, 11:59 AM

My rejected Penthouse Story (Sad but True)

When I was about 25, I went on a business trip to Monterey, California. I was renting my car, and a very attractive young woman was behind the counter. I asked her about some good places to sightsee, and she was giving advice. Then she said, "It's sad that you're going to all of these neat places by yourself. You don't have anyone you'd like to go with?"

I said, "Oh, it's not problem. I like going places by myself. In fact, it's better that way." She gave me my keys, and I sat in my car and slammed my head against the steering wheel for the next ten minutes.

suds79 · 10-02-2002, 12:00 PM

Few years back I was on the beach partying in Cancoon with my four best friends. We were just drinking having a good time when all of a sudden there was this assembly line of dudes slammiong this chick.

Wanting to sease such great opportunity we jumped right in. Man this chick was hot for it. 10, 20, 30 dudes she couldn't get enough. Even the fat kid with asma was gettin some. Naturally, I was ready to rock by the time my lucky #144 came up. She had just got done with my friends and told me she was into snowballing. I don't know that means but anything out of her mouth sounded good to me... Next thing I know shes jamming her tongue down my mouth, I think I got some sand in my mouth like in the MTV video but I didn't care. It was on!

That was one day I'll never forget. 100% True.

siberian khatru · 10-02-2002, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kevin
My rejected Penthouse Story (Sad but True)

When I was about 25, I went on a business trip to Monterey, California. I was renting my car, and a very attractive young woman was behind the counter. I asked her about some good places to sightsee, and she was giving advice. Then she said, "It's sad that you're going to all of these neat places by yourself. You don't have anyone you'd like to go with?"

I said, "Oh, it's not problem. I like going places by myself. In fact, it's better that way." She gave me my keys, and I sat in my car and slammed my head against the steering wheel for the next ten minutes.

BUCK: Swing and a miss!
MCCARVER: That was a batting-practice fastball right down the middle of the plate.

siberian khatru · 10-02-2002, 12:05 PM

Actually, on second thought you never took the bat off your shoulder.

**Rausch** · 10-02-2002, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kevin
My rejected Penthouse Story (Sad but True)

Reminds me of my "I would have banged two Vegas hookers if not for forgetting the time difference 'tween here and there and couldn't put in my bet for the 97 playoff game"story....

Also unfortunately true...

58Forever · 10-02-2002, 12:26 PM

still to this day, everytime I see a fat lady and her breasts I get really scared...true, 100%

**Rain Man** · 10-02-2002, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BRAD_CAUDLE

Reminds me of my "I would have banged two Vegas hookers if not for forgetting the time difference ....

A friend of mine went on a business trip to Vegas once, and got asked for a ride by two women at a stoplight on the strip. He described them as attractive, and let them in the car, whereupon he figured out pretty quickly that they were really selling rides (if you get my drift), not asking for them. And then he figured out that they weren't really women, and that they didn't want to get out of his car...

(True story, though I've always suspected that he was telling some white lies about the first part of the story.)

**Rausch** · 10-02-2002, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kevin

(True story, though I've always suspected that he was telling some white lies about the first part of the story.)

When we first got off the plane in Vegas and were picking up our bags me and my buddy Dave saw this hot chick across the way(probably 40-50 feet.)

We're talking 'bout who's gonna' hit on her, and I dare him, and we get about 10 feet from this chick and notice:

1. Big breasts
2. nice legs
3.Adam's Apple

We kept on walking, and agreed that since we were going to be drunk for a week straight, no hitt'n on the locals...

**Rain Man** · 10-02-2002, 12:43 PM

Some things just ain't right.

**Rausch** · 10-02-2002, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kevin
Some things just ain't right.

Definitely not......

First time in my life that when I was check'n out chix that I looked at their NECK first.....

WisChief · 10-02-2002, 12:45 PM

I spent about a year at Camp Pendelton Ca while I was in the Marines. 19 years old, pocket full of cash. We'd go to Tiajuana every weekend when we could. "Ladies" in abundance.

You fill in the blanks - I'll guarantee you that it happened. True - 100% true. I promise.

**mlyonsd** · 10-02-2002, 12:45 PM

Here's mine!:

My wife and I went to a hotel once, stripped down, got into bed and did it. In the morning we ate at Perkins, I had the Country Fried Steak.

I never could figure out why they didn't print it.

Bricky · 10-02-2002, 12:46 PM

This one time....at Chiefs training camp......

Well, you know the rest.

10-02-2002, 11:51 AM	#2
shakesthecat Veteran Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: IA Casino cash: $4103833	One time, I was driving back from Colorado, when a blizzard shut down the Interstate and forced me to find a motel room in Lincoln, Nebraska. Well wouldn't you know, the guy in the room next to mine gets a knock on the door about 10:00, and sure enough, it was a hooker. I don't need to tell you how thrilling it was to have a honest-to-goodness call girl right next door. Fortunately, the wall was paper thin, so it was just like having her in my room. Man! Whadda night! All true! 100% I only wish I were making it up.
Posts: 3,354

10-02-2002, 11:59 AM	#3
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3058491 VARSITY	My rejected Penthouse Story (Sad but True) When I was about 25, I went on a business trip to Monterey, California. I was renting my car, and a very attractive young woman was behind the counter. I asked her about some good places to sightsee, and she was giving advice. Then she said, "It's sad that you're going to all of these neat places by yourself. You don't have anyone you'd like to go with?" I said, "Oh, it's not problem. I like going places by myself. In fact, it's better that way." She gave me my keys, and I sat in my car and slammed my head against the steering wheel for the next ten minutes. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,661

10-02-2002, 12:00 PM	#4
suds79 MVP Join Date: Sep 2000 Casino cash: $10005036	My Crazy Spring Break Story Few years back I was on the beach partying in Cancoon with my four best friends. We were just drinking having a good time when all of a sudden there was this assembly line of dudes slammiong this chick. Wanting to sease such great opportunity we jumped right in. Man this chick was hot for it. 10, 20, 30 dudes she couldn't get enough. Even the fat kid with asma was gettin some. Naturally, I was ready to rock by the time my lucky #144 came up. She had just got done with my friends and told me she was into snowballing. I don't know that means but anything out of her mouth sounded good to me... Next thing I know shes jamming her tongue down my mouth, I think I got some sand in my mouth like in the MTV video but I didn't care. It was on! That was one day I'll never forget. 100% True.
Posts: 5,747

10-02-2002, 12:05 PM	#6
siberian khatru 21st Century Schizoid Fan Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: The Gates of Delirium Casino cash: $2284950	Actually, on second thought you never took the bat off your shoulder.
Posts: 69,288

10-02-2002, 12:26 PM	#8
58Forever It's dejavu all over again! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: at home in my own chair Casino cash: $10004900	still to this day, everytime I see a fat lady and her breasts I get really scared...true, 100% __________________ joe If the other team scores zero, three points is enough! "screw you guys, I'm going home." Last edited by 58Forever; 10-02-2002 at 01:02 PM..
Posts: 1,828

10-02-2002, 12:43 PM	#11
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3058491 VARSITY	Some things just ain't right. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,661

10-02-2002, 12:45 PM	#13
WisChief GO 'NOLES! Join Date: Oct 2000 Casino cash: $10005400	I spent about a year at Camp Pendelton Ca while I was in the Marines. 19 years old, pocket full of cash. We'd go to Tiajuana every weekend when we could. "Ladies" in abundance. You fill in the blanks - I'll guarantee you that it happened. True - 100% true. I promise.
Posts: 918

10-02-2002, 12:45 PM	#14
mlyonsd Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Spink, SD Casino cash: $1413762	Here's mine!: My wife and I went to a hotel once, stripped down, got into bed and did it. In the morning we ate at Perkins, I had the Country Fried Steak. I never could figure out why they didn't print it.
Posts: 38,902

10-02-2002, 12:46 PM	#15
Bricky Starter Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Missouri Casino cash: $10004900	This one time....at Chiefs training camp...... Well, you know the rest.
Posts: 124