Anyone here have someone in their life who had Alzheimer's?

[pr_capone]

Just found out that my grandmother was diagnosed with alzheimer's last week. She is a proud woman and is stubbornly ignoring the issue and refuses to talk about it. We don't know how severe it is at this point nor how aggressive the disease is because she won't tell anyone.

Anyone here have someone go through this? Looking around on the net for info but I'd prefer firsthand accounts.

Any info is appreciated.

Thanks

[Mile High Mania]

Sadly, my grandmother also had it... very strong will, sharp minded woman that never drank nor smoked. But, she died last year after dealing with this for about a decade.

There were early signs and as mentioned earlier, she was very stubborn and refused to deal with it or accept it. She thought that people were after her money, estate, etc... paranoia.

Finally, when things got so bad... my dad and uncle had to make tough decisions and things got really ugly with the estate matters that she failed to address when she was of sound mind.

Patience is key, but also... if she's not willing to accept it or listen to anyone, I don't know what to tell you. It's hard on everyone and to me, always knowing her as this vibrant and smart woman... the final 3 years were very tough.

She spent the final 3-4 years in an AZ care facility and it was really unbearable to visit... no true memories of any of us. And, she became evil at times to my dad. I think there were a few moments when she would recognize us, she did seem to recall her best friend. But, all in all... it was incredibly difficult.

It's an incredibly tough situation... I wish you and your family all the best through this, it really just sucks.

[Demonpenz]

it is a bitch of a disease

[Jilly]

Originally Posted by seclark

granny and grampa were made for each other. crazy about each other. when he passed away, i didn't think she'd live for a year.

when the alzheimers kicked in, she started saying all these terrible things about him. stories, that i knew weren't true, and couldn't figure out where she was getting these thoughts. same w/my father, who passed away 3 years before she did. it tore me up to hear some of the things she'd say. all i could do was shake my head and try to change the subject to something better.

i'll always remember the morning in the hospital 2 days before she died. i walked in and a nurse was helping her w/something. granny told me that 2 men stayed w/her all night and took very good care of her. the nurse just looked at me and shook her head. she told me later, that no men were with her that night.

the next morning, i went back to see her and she said those 2 men were back last night taking care of her again. they talked to her, but she couldn't hear what they were saying. about 6 hours later, she passed.

i'd like to think those 2 men were my dad and grampa...who knows, but it makes it easier for me to remember those last few days.

sec

I don't know, in my line of work, I've heard all kinds of stories that point to loved ones accompanying their loved ones into new life and it usually involves two people. I've never found anything more peaceful then that moment with the last breath is taken at the end of one's long life....to me, it is holy.

[seclark]

Originally Posted by Jilly

I don't know, in my line of work, I've heard all kinds of stories that point to loved ones accompanying their loved ones into new life and it usually involves two people. I've never found anything more peaceful then that moment with the last breath is taken at the end of one's long life....to me, it is holy.

sure it is...i'm just glad that when she took her last breath, i was there to hold her hand and...whatever it was that i was doing.

thanks jilly...it's the eagles concert for sure now, because i'm no longer in any mood to drink!
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[Donger]

I have standing orders to give my parents "the milky drink" if either of them get Alzheimer's.

Best of luck, pr.

[Frazod]

My grandma didn't have Alzheimer's, but suffered dementia and didn't know shit from apple butter the last three years she was alive. It was horrible. In the end, she had the mentality of a toddler, perhaps even pre-toddler.

I hope if I ever get like that somebody smothers me with a ****ing pillow. I was just at a nursing home over the weekend visiting my aunt (same place my grandma died) and just driving up to the place makes my flesh crawl.

Steel yourself. You're in for some bad times, and sadly, nothing but death will make it better. Hope it comes sooner rather than later. I know that sounds awful, but eventually you'll understand.

[Lzen]

Both my grandmother and my grandfather on my mom's side got it at about the same time (10 years ago). It was weird because it happened so quickly. Before you knew it, both were in hospitals/homes.

Like others' stories, my grandfather would suddenly be back in the 1950s when my mom and her siblings were kids. His particular version was called Sundowner's.

My grandmother had a different type. She couldn't even talk. She was pretty much in a vegetative state. It was almost as if she wasn't there. It was only her body.

It was really difficult to see them like that. I didn't visit them very often because I couldn't handle seeing them like that. It was not long before they both passed (2-3 years). For me, it was a relief to know that their suffering was over.

[Mile High Mania]

Originally Posted by frazod

My grandma didn't have Alzheimer's, but suffered dementia and didn't know shit from apple butter the last three years she was alive. It was horrible. In the end, she had the mentality of a toddler, perhaps even pre-toddler.

I hope if I ever get like that somebody smothers me with a ****ing pillow. I was just at a nursing home over the weekend visiting my aunt (same place my grandma died) and just driving up to the place makes my flesh crawl.

Steel yourself. You're in for some bad times, and sadly, nothing but death will make it better. Hope it comes sooner rather than later. I know that sounds awful, but eventually you'll understand.

I am in total agreement... it's the saddest thing to ever think about in this situation, but until you're there... it's hard to fathom even having the thought.

[PastorMikH]

I've had one grandmother die from it and another has just recently been diagnosed. Also have been in contact with several through churches with it.

My grandmother was always scatter-brained so for most of her time with alzhiemers it was just grandma with advanced scattering and more forgetfulness. She did a lot better than most I've heard but she was on the meds that just came out in the late 90's/early 2ks which did a good job of slowing things down. She was already in a older adult living center when the alzhiemers was diagnosed. The center had a seperate building on the same grounds for A patients and when she got to the point that she was unable to care for herself with light help, they moved her to the other building. As things progressed into her last year, she did start to develop some of the things others have mentioned, though she never did do much cursing. She would walk the halls half dressed or less. She also got to the point where if she was taken out of the facility she would panic because she wasn't familiar with her surroundings. She finally got to the point where she not only forgot to eat, but the staff said they thought she had forgotten how to eat. As much as I loved my grandmother, it was a blessing the day I got the call that she had passed.


If your grandmother has just been diagnosed, I wouldn't get too upset about her "not accepting it." That is pretty much natural. Denial is the first stage of the grieving process and she will also struggle with these emotions upon hearing of such an illness.

Also, keep in mind there is only so much your family can do. You all can help for a while, but it will get to a point where you can no longer safely take care of her. Start looking now for facilities that can provide care, it is possible that you could be on a waiting list for quite some time before a spot opens up in a good care center.

Be prepared for her to forget your name, then get to the point where she doesn't remember you at all (Even up to the last month my grandma was alive, she knew who I was but this isn't normally the case). Also, be ready for much of the rest of what you read in this threa to take place. Not all A-patients exhibit all tendancies, just be prepared. Make the most of the time you have with her while she "is still here".

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by Mile High Mania

I am in total agreement... it's the saddest thing to ever think about in this situation, but until you're there... it's hard to fathom even having the thought.

In the beginning, there was still some recognition. She didn't know who I was, but was aware that I somehow belonged to her in some way. The last time I saw her, though, there was nothing. She was playing with a goddamn doll and didn't even acknowledge my presence. I stood there for a few minutes, then went outside, sat in my car and ****ing bawled. Never saw her again. Of course, there was really nothing there to see.

I'll never understand why it's OK to put pets down in a terminal, irreversible situation like that, but our loved ones are required by law and religion to needlessly suffer. Here's a great big to both of them.

[Mile High Mania]

Originally Posted by frazod

In the beginning, there was still some recognition. She didn't know who I was, but was aware that I somehow belonged to her in some way. The last time I saw her, though, there was nothing. She was playing with a goddamn doll and didn't even acknowledge my presence. I stood there for a few minutes, then went outside, sat in my car and ****ing bawled. Never saw her again. Of course, there was really nothing there to see.

I'll never understand why it's OK to put pets down in a terminal, irreversible situation like that, but our loved ones are required by law and religion to needlessly suffer. Here's a great big to both of them.

Yeah, very similar. Early, she would recognize us, but she would confuse me and my brother... and she couldn't keep track of our kids. Then, it just slowly morphed to non-recognition.

The last 2 times I saw her, I would just get these evil stares... she apparently said some horrible things to my dad and that really hit him hard. I couldn't deal with the fact that she had no idea who I was... the final visit, she was barely mobile and half awake. It was like I was staring into these very black eyes... I would like to think she had some idea as to who I was and recognized the pictures I showed her, but I'll never know.

I had hard times dealing with the face to face and have hated the fact that I didn't see her more often before it got really bad.

[DJay23]

My grandpa died from it 3 years ago to this day. He was a tough old SOB. Wasn't very nice to people most of his life. But as the Alzheimer's got worse he became more friendly, even making friends with people in the home my family had to put him in.

I remember my dad and I sitting down with him one visit and listening in awe as he described his basic training for the Navy in 1943. Really neat experience that I'm glad I had with him.

He lived a lot longer than the doctors predicted, about 3 full weeks after they first thought he would go. Eventually, they removed his tubes and all that and he hung on, until my grandmother told him that she would be ok, that he could go and didn't have to take care of her anymore. Apparently he kept fighting because he needed to take care of her. He let go after the talk. Anytime I need personal strength, I think about my grandpa and how long he held out, just to fulfill his responsibilities.

[cdcox]

My aunt and my mom have it. My aunt is like 18 years older than my mom and is in the very late stages. I'm not sure if she still recognizes her daughter. Last time I saw her she was in poor health and really didn't interact much with anyone.

My mom is doing okay, she's 72. She's been diagnosed for a couple- three years now and is on regular medicine, which helps quite a bit. Dad is still in great health at 75 and is able to care for her. I live 12 hours from KC, so I only get to see her a few times per year, but talk on the phone a couple times a month. It's hard to have a conversation, since so many of the things you'd talk about she doesn't remember. She'll read a book, but not really follow the plot. She'll typically remember selective events from earlier in the day, but maybe not a conversation you had 5 minutes ago. Sometimes she also thinks long time friends are trying to make moves on my dad, just paranoia. Sometimes she'll also tell stories about family members that aren't true. Really hard to watch. I don't know how my dad copes as well as he does. But I count myself lucky because it seems to be progressing slowly with her so far.

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by Mile High Mania

Yeah, very similar. Early, she would recognize us, but she would confuse me and my brother... and she couldn't keep track of our kids. Then, it just slowly morphed to non-recognition.

The last 2 times I saw her, I would just get these evil stares... she apparently said some horrible things to my dad and that really hit him hard. I couldn't deal with the fact that she had no idea who I was... the final visit, she was barely mobile and half awake. It was like I was staring into these very black eyes... I would like to think she had some idea as to who I was and recognized the pictures I showed her, but I'll never know.

I had hard times dealing with the face to face and have hated the fact that I didn't see her more often before it got really bad.

At least mine was never hateful. As bad as it was, that would have made it so much worse. Sorry you had to go through that.

Bad, bad times....

[sd4chiefs]

My Father has had Alzheimer's for the passed 8 years. My mother was able to take care of him but when she passed away a year ago I had to put him in a AZ care facility. He has really gone down hill since then. He does not who I am anymore. I go see him about once a week and it gets harder every time. The people who work there are very nice and take good care of him.