Football Give me every team's conspiracy story to win the Super Bowl. - Page 2

**Rain Man** · 10-10-2016, 01:43 PM

If the NFL has indeed become rigged for marketing dollars, the league office is likely looking at each team in the beginning of the year to determine whether they should win the Super Bowl. Imagine that you're the team's representative in this top-secret meeting. What's your argument that your team should win the Super Bowl? This can be any reason - market size, star power, business reasons, whatever.

I think we have a few that are obvious, and I'll start with them, but let's go through all 32 teams.

Oakland Raiders - They're likely moving to Las Vegas, so we want to give the Oakland people something positive to cheer about as the team leaves, while also building support for a public tax for a fancy new stadium in Las Vegas.

Los Angeles Rams - It's the second-biggest market in the country, and we need to build momentum. This isn't a football town, so a Super Bowl win will ignite the fan base enough that it'll become "cool" to be seen at a Rams game.

New England Patriots - We owe them one in return for throwing the AFC title game last year to give Manning a super bowl.

Carolina Panthers - We owe them one in return for taking a dive in the super bowl last year to give Manning a ring and a ratings boost on future appearances.

That's four teams. Feel free to add to their narrative and give me the argument for the other 28 teams. Legitimate arguments only.

**RealSNR** · 10-12-2016, 01:26 PM

Denver-- Bowlen forgot that he forked over all that bribe money last year, so he cut a huge check for the NFL yet again. In the memo blank, it says, "Jake Plummer deserves a ring!"

**Nzoner** · 10-12-2016, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJJasonp

The only fly in the ointment for that theory is Jerry Jones (though maybe he did several years back and now he's running low on cash-flow?).

No,JJ ****ed it all up when he went to war with the NFL over marketing rights and won.He may be BIG but not as BIG as the league.

**Nzoner** · 10-12-2016, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Now that you mention it, we should probably go with pros and cons both.

In today's overall climate I'd say the Jags are screwed with the name of their owner.

Discuss Thrower · 10-12-2016, 03:12 PM

Cardinals: Feel good story for a QB who's made a career of being good but banged up and a little bit of payback for the Bidwill clan in light of the 2009 SB.

**SAGA45** · 10-12-2016, 03:13 PM

49ers - Kaepernick. Whole world tunes in just to watch the National Anthem.

MagicHef · 10-12-2016, 04:53 PM

Anti-Seahawks: Turns out that Russel Wilson is actually pretty weird, and not as relatable as previously thought.

Pasta Little Brioni · 10-12-2016, 04:58 PM

Patriots for taking a dive in pile high last year. B8ggest joke of a season in league history.

**notorious** · 10-12-2016, 05:16 PM

I can see the Raiders getting a big boost because of their large fanbase, the Vegas move, and their offense will draw more viewers.

The Rams need some pub, but they won't get a real Super Bowl nudge from the officials for at least a couple years.

We all better hope that Lynch has the personality of a rock. If he has Televison Moxie, Denver will continue to get benefits for the next 15 years.

As far as Carr goes, I've heard his interviews. The kid is interesting, so we are ****ed on that front.

The Chiefs have no national personality except for maybe Marcus Peters. This team is major league ****ed when it comes to SB chances. BORING.

In58men · 10-12-2016, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notorious

I can see the Raiders getting a big boost because of their large fanbase, the Vegas move, and their offense will draw more viewers.

The Rams need some pub, but they won't get a real Super Bowl nudge from the officials for at least a couple years.

We all better hope that Lynch has the personality of a rock. If he has Televison Moxie, Denver will continue to get benefits for the next 15 years.

As far as Carr goes, I've heard his interviews. The kid is interesting, so we are ****ed on that front.

The Chiefs have no national personality except for maybe Marcus Peters. This team is major league ****ed when it comes to SB chances. BORING.

Exactly the league wants a Marshawn Lynch, Gronk, JJ Watt, OBJ, Rodgers etc etc.

What on Earth would the commentators even say about us? Chiefs really came along way since Javon Belcher, Greg.

**Rain Man** · 10-12-2016, 08:11 PM

Okay, I'm going to start over with the pros and cons.

Atlanta Falcons

Pros - It's one of the top ten TV markets in the country and the team has never been awarded a super bowl win. Matt Ryan is a boy scout who would not sully the title, and Dwight Freeney played with Peyton Manning for several years, which would give us a good chance to cash in on Manning talk during the game.

Cons - Matt Ryan is too clean-cut and doesn't show enough personality to be a league marquee guy. No one knows who Julio Jones is unless they're football fans.

**Rain Man** · 10-12-2016, 08:14 PM

Baltimore Ravens

Pros - Baltimore Ravens - A win would be inspiring for the City of Baltimore after their anti-police riots and police pullback. Plus, Terrell Suggs will be retiring soon and this would give the NFL a great way to continue the "Baltimore linebackers" story line after Murderin' Ray Lewis got his sendoff.

Cons - Terrell Suggs is unattractive. It may be too soon after the Ray Rice thing. They've already been given a couple of super bowls in the last 15 years, and shouldn't get preference over other east coast teams in Washington and New York.

**Rain Man** · 10-12-2016, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower

Cardinals: Feel good story for a QB who's made a career of being good but banged up and a little bit of payback for the Bidwill clan in light of the 2009 SB.

Arizona

Pros - As mentioned above, plus Larry Fitzgerald has been a great ambassador for the league for years. The league has wanted to make Patrick Peterson a star for several years, and he needs a national stage.

Cons - The Steelers may not want Carson Palmer to win, and the Steelers get what they want. The fans in the stands are probably older and not in the target demographic. Also, the Bidwells are kind of the unpopular kids in the club, the ones who always seem to be on the periphery.

MMXcalibur · 10-12-2016, 08:28 PM

Cleveland: Can't let LeBron overshadow the Browns!

KranzDictum · 10-12-2016, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

If the NFL has indeed become rigged for marketing dollars, the league office is likely looking at each team in the beginning of the year to determine whether they should win the Super Bowl. Imagine that you're the team's representative in this top-secret meeting. What's your argument that your team should win the Super Bowl? This can be any reason - market size, star power, business reasons, whatever.

I think we have a few that are obvious, and I'll start with them, but let's go through all 32 teams.

Oakland Raiders - They're likely moving to Las Vegas, so we want to give the Oakland people something positive to cheer about as the team leaves, while also building support for a public tax for a fancy new stadium in Las Vegas.

Los Angeles Rams - It's the second-biggest market in the country, and we need to build momentum. This isn't a football town, so a Super Bowl win will ignite the fan base enough that it'll become "cool" to be seen at a Rams game.

New England Patriots - We owe them one in return for throwing the AFC title game last year to give Manning a super bowl.

Carolina Panthers - We owe them one in return for taking a dive in the super bowl last year to give Manning a ring and a ratings boost on future appearances.

That's four teams. Feel free to add to their narrative and give me the argument for the other 28 teams. Legitimate arguments only.

Are you one of those lizard people believers?

**Rain Man** · 10-12-2016, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KCtotheSB

Cleveland: Can't let LeBron overshadow the Browns!

Oh, that's a good one. The NFL could build on the foundation set by the NBA. Cleveland could potentially win it all this year.

10-10-2016, 01:43 PM
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-772449 VARSITY	Give me every team's conspiracy story to win the Super Bowl. If the NFL has indeed become rigged for marketing dollars, the league office is likely looking at each team in the beginning of the year to determine whether they should win the Super Bowl. Imagine that you're the team's representative in this top-secret meeting. What's your argument that your team should win the Super Bowl? This can be any reason - market size, star power, business reasons, whatever. I think we have a few that are obvious, and I'll start with them, but let's go through all 32 teams. Oakland Raiders - They're likely moving to Las Vegas, so we want to give the Oakland people something positive to cheer about as the team leaves, while also building support for a public tax for a fancy new stadium in Las Vegas. Los Angeles Rams - It's the second-biggest market in the country, and we need to build momentum. This isn't a football town, so a Super Bowl win will ignite the fan base enough that it'll become "cool" to be seen at a Rams game. New England Patriots - We owe them one in return for throwing the AFC title game last year to give Manning a super bowl. Carolina Panthers - We owe them one in return for taking a dive in the super bowl last year to give Manning a ring and a ratings boost on future appearances. That's four teams. Feel free to add to their narrative and give me the argument for the other 28 teams. Legitimate arguments only.
Posts: 145,598

10-12-2016, 03:12 PM	#19
Discuss Thrower "You like to drink?" Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: "I like to drink." Casino cash: $-470000	Cardinals: Feel good story for a QB who's made a career of being good but banged up and a little bit of payback for the Bidwill clan in light of the 2009 SB. __________________ Chiefs 2016 Opponents: Home: JAX, TEN, NO, TB, NYJ. Away: HOU, IND, ATL, CAR, PIT Chiefs 2017 Opponents: Home: BUF, MIA, PHI, WSH, AFC North. Away: NE, NYJ, NYG, DAL, AFC South
Posts: 45,284

10-12-2016, 03:13 PM	#20
SAGA45 Supporter Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Compton, CA Casino cash: $1904955	49ers - Kaepernick. Whole world tunes in just to watch the National Anthem.
Posts: 1,978

10-12-2016, 04:53 PM	#21
MagicHef The Seated Villain Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Seattle Casino cash: $520247	Anti-Seahawks: Turns out that Russel Wilson is actually pretty weird, and not as relatable as previously thought. __________________ With a sack in 61% of his games, SB MVP Von Miller is the most consistent pass rusher in NFL history.
Posts: 10,754

10-12-2016, 04:58 PM	#22
Pasta Little Brioni Consuming CP souls Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: U.S.A. Casino cash: $78880	Patriots for taking a dive in pile high last year. B8ggest joke of a season in league history. __________________ **Official TFWdemB Trivia Commisioner**
Posts: 73,049

10-12-2016, 05:16 PM	#23
notorious Supporter Join Date: May 2005 Location: Who knows? Casino cash: $-1064116	I can see the Raiders getting a big boost because of their large fanbase, the Vegas move, and their offense will draw more viewers. The Rams need some pub, but they won't get a real Super Bowl nudge from the officials for at least a couple years. We all better hope that Lynch has the personality of a rock. If he has Televison Moxie, Denver will continue to get benefits for the next 15 years. As far as Carr goes, I've heard his interviews. The kid is interesting, so we are **ed on that front. The Chiefs have no national personality except for maybe Marcus Peters. This team is major league **ed when it comes to SB chances. BORING.
Posts: 88,604

10-12-2016, 08:11 PM	#25
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-772449 VARSITY	Okay, I'm going to start over with the pros and cons. Atlanta Falcons Pros - It's one of the top ten TV markets in the country and the team has never been awarded a super bowl win. Matt Ryan is a boy scout who would not sully the title, and Dwight Freeney played with Peyton Manning for several years, which would give us a good chance to cash in on Manning talk during the game. Cons - Matt Ryan is too clean-cut and doesn't show enough personality to be a league marquee guy. No one knows who Julio Jones is unless they're football fans. __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,598

10-12-2016, 08:14 PM	#26
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-772449 VARSITY	Baltimore Ravens Pros - Baltimore Ravens - A win would be inspiring for the City of Baltimore after their anti-police riots and police pullback. Plus, Terrell Suggs will be retiring soon and this would give the NFL a great way to continue the "Baltimore linebackers" story line after Murderin' Ray Lewis got his sendoff. Cons - Terrell Suggs is unattractive. It may be too soon after the Ray Rice thing. They've already been given a couple of super bowls in the last 15 years, and shouldn't get preference over other east coast teams in Washington and New York. __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,598

10-12-2016, 08:28 PM	#28
MMXcalibur Pessimistically optimistic. Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Denver, CO Casino cash: $-144914	Cleveland: Can't let LeBron overshadow the Browns!
Posts: 16,747