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02-25-2019, 04:59 PM | #16 |
You think you can get by this?
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Springfield, MO
Casino cash: $-180000
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This property has sentimental value. Not worth that much in the long run. Aunt wants to keep it, dad wants to sell it. That's really only part of the situation, but, now that she's passed, it's really the only thing left to worry about. I think it was left to them with 50/50 interest. Not sure how they're going to handle it. Aunt can't afford to buy dad's interest, and dad doesn't have majority interest in order to evict.
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02-25-2019, 05:12 PM | #17 | |
Has a particular set of skills
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VARSITY
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Quote:
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Mind you own damn business |
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02-25-2019, 05:19 PM | #18 |
MVP
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Ah, he needs to put a ring on it.
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02-25-2019, 05:20 PM | #19 |
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Easy fix. Aunt buys out the dad on it.
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02-25-2019, 05:21 PM | #20 |
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Join Date: Nov 2006
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My dad died 9 years ago. At the time he left a 100k policy to my mom and she got to continue collecting his pension. He also left a chunk of money which was from his farm(small farm) he owned to pass to the kids in a trust. The idea being that mom already had enough to live off the pension(they already had been doing so) but the policy could get her over bumps in the road or unexpected things. It was also in an account that would earn 5% a year guaranteed. You can't add to that account, just take out, but that is a nice little extra 5k a year to handle issues, etc. The trust was supposed to be for the kids with the understanding that if she did have a need at some point, we could pull from the trust. It's 200k so not much when you split between 7 kids anyways. We met about the trust after he passed and agreed on some investment strategies and I never really thought much about it after that as he made my sister the executor since she was unmarried when he drafted the will - wanted to avoid in-law disputes since he had seen those cause problems before.
Well, we went to move my mom closer to us around a year ago(4 of us kids are in the same general area). The sale of her house wasn't going to make as much as we wanted to get her into a decent place up here so I told everyone we should meet and discuss mom's finances, the house, trust, etc. to see where it all sat. I figured the trust probably would have doubled in the course of what was 8 year at that time and so if we needed to take a bit out to help get her in a better place, we could do that. I also thought she must have most of that policy still as she really didn't make any huge purchase outside of a new car but when she had done so I told her to take a loan at 0.9% and to just pay for it with the interest from the policy. Simple. Well first, my mom just cashed that money out to buy a new car instead of paying it with the interest, didn't want to deal with a loan. My brother had also passed away and she essentially gave his wife 40k to pay for the funeral and just to help her get into a better situation during the first year after he passed. He did have a policy of his own and investments, etc. but none of us know how much as she never disclosed any of that to us. Anyways, long story short, that emergency fund of hers was down to about 20k. As for the trust, my sister had basically sat on it and didn't make the investment moves that we had discussed. It didn't make a dime over that time and easily would have doubled with just basic investments. So now we are looking at a situation where my mom could live another 25 years, we don't know if she may need in home care, cancer treatments, or really anything during that time. I'm not willing to let the trust go below the initial 200k because we need it to grow for those unknown emergencies. After many meetings, we agreed on a new investment strategy for the trust, which it is in now. My mom is in a 2 bedroom condo with a garage and elevator where they clear the snow, etc. all for her, but she has a 20k loan, and I sat down with her and went through her budget and got rid of expenses like Sirious XM, OnStar, etc so she is in a more manageable spot. We put a strategy down on how she can save money to travel a couple times a year to TX to see my sister, etc. We got rid of her credit card bills that were past due, etc. I have a feeling that she is probably still making some bad financial choices but I can only do so much without putting her on an allowance and I really don't want us to have to get to that stage. Money does cause tensions and rifts in a family. In my case, I was able to at least mostly fix the problem and get everyone on the same page because none of the strategies I talked about were for my own enrichment but for the long term goal of making sure my mom was in a good spot not just this year but 20 years from now. Now, it's possible some people might look at it and say I'm greedy because I didn't just have us take money out of the trust. I see a situation where my mom ran through nearly 100k and the trust hasn't done anything. I see that as very insulting to my dad's legacy and if it continued, everything he worked for would be gone and my mom would be left with nothing. Now, I was able to get my siblings to see that, other people aren't so lucky.
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02-25-2019, 05:22 PM | #21 |
'Tis my eye!
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02-25-2019, 05:23 PM | #22 |
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"You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw rocks at every dog that barks" - Winston Churchill |
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02-25-2019, 10:52 PM | #23 |
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I can tell you estate things can screw up a family. One of my uncles, a lifelong bachelor, died and left everything to his sister. My dad was OK with it, but my other uncle (no kids) who took care of him for years wasn't happy, especially the way my aunt handled it. He was so bitter about it that he disinherited my aunt and her family. In the meantime, my dad passed away, so that left only my sister, me, and two of my his wife's nephews as heirs. Even though the inheritance was small, my cousins still make snide remarks about it and my aunt hasn't spoken to me or my sis since.
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02-26-2019, 08:26 AM | #24 |
You think you can get by this?
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Springfield, MO
Casino cash: $-180000
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It may not be an issue after all. My boyfriend's dad came over last night, and they talked. His dad said that seeing his mom laying in bed just gave him a sense of inner peace. He carried around a lot of resentment for a long time over things that happened after his dad died, and he didn't want things to be like that after his mom died. I only piped in to tell him that was great, but did it resolve the material issues at hand? He's not going to try to do anything with the property (at least as long as my boyfriend's aunt lives there). I believe he's also reconsidering going to the funeral, which seemed to be a big relief to my boyfriend.
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02-26-2019, 08:34 AM | #25 |
Shit
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family and money can REALLY suck.
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02-26-2019, 08:56 AM | #26 |
best in the biz
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Prayer thread turns into a discussion about money and material things.
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02-26-2019, 09:01 AM | #27 |
'Tis my eye!
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