Hypothetical: Get reincarnated here.

[Rain Man]

Just for fun, I've been dividing the world up into regions, and just finished last night. I divided the world into 16,789 regions based on states, provinces, communities, islands, arrondissements, or whatever else happened to be handy.

I didn't know what to do with it, so I created a reincarnation simulator. Sign up here and learn about your next life in advance. I'll give you:

Gender: (Male or Female)
Intelligence: 1 to 100, with 100 as the top
Attractiveness: 1 to 100, with 100 as the top
Economic Status: 1 to 100, with 100 as the top
Nation of Future Birth
Region of Future Birth
Population of that Region (which is somewhat useless since the boundaries are generally manmade, but hey, I've got it)

All statuses are relative to the region that you're in, not the world. So if you draw a 50 on economic status and you're born in the Badghis regions of Afghanistan, that means that you're at the median status of Badghis residents.

Sign up below if you're interested in the early release of your next life. I'll do three reincarnations per day, with the goal that we can discuss and decide which of the three has the best future fate awaiting them. Feel free to post pictures, maps, or descriptions of the reincarnated person's life as you see it.

So sign up below and we'll do the first three today.


Methodology: All figures are random. The probability of being born into a particular region is based on the population of that region.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Smellway

moi

Gender Female
Intelligence 68
Appearance 81
Wealth 82
Nation Pakistan
Region Toba Tek Singh
Population 1,621,593

Smellway is a woman with a lot of good things going on. She's reasonably bright, quite good-looking, and comes from an upper class family. Granted, wealth and opportunity mean different things in different parts of the world, though, so she'll probably be throttled in her ambitions and end up marrying her father's cousin's oldest son, the one with the halitosis. But she'll live in one of the nicest homes in this neighborhood:https://www.google.com/maps/place/To...5!4d72.4849861

[Abba-Dabba]

I'm game.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!

Intelligence of 6 and you think he can hold a low level job? He'll be lucky if he can fasten his own Velcro shoes.

Apparently that's around a 75 IQ, which apparently means that he can perform simple tasks with supervision. I bet he can dismantle toxic electronics and be happy doing it.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Otter

Put me in coach!

Otter dies in a skydiving accident, but bounces right back up nine months later as ...

Gender Female
Intelligence 61
Appearance 40
Wealth 11
Nation Italy
Region Sicilia
Population 5,092,080

You're a typical woman in Sicily, but born to a low-class family that limited your opportunities. You work as a low-level civil servant, hoping that some day you'll get that big promotion, and you live in an apartment on this street far away from the coast: https://www.google.com/maps/@37.9156...7i13312!8i6656

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by RubberSponge

I'm game.

RubberSponge steps out of the next womb and into a life as...

Gender Male
Intelligence 16
Appearance 32
Wealth 56
Nation China
Region Wuwei
Population 1,835,697

I suspect that he's a reasonably successful rice wholesaler, living almost in Inner Mongolia. He's not very bright and kind of homely, in large part because it's hard to exercise due to pollution in the area (the photo below is coal smoke, not fog). However, he's found his niche in life and has outkicked his coverage on a professional front. He lives here and coughs frequently:

[Rain Man]

I think I'm caught up, so let's see where I'm headed in my next life. Rain Man is hit by a small meteor and comes back later as a ...

Gender Male
Intelligence 12
Appearance 41
Wealth 26
Nation Niger
Region Agadez
Population 487,620

Ugh. I'm poor and stupid in one of the most backwards countries on earth. I think I'll have a Pibb Extra and enjoy this life.

The good news is that my next home is visually striking, in a Tatooine kind of way. There's not a lot of modern garbage in the streets or anything. The bad news is pretty much everything else.

I'm probably living on this street in one of the cheapest houses. Actually, it's better than a lot of poor third world places, and I'm not really ugly. At least, not too much.

I wonder where I get water, though. I bet I have stomach ailments a lot.

[Shag]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

In our final reincarnation of the day, Shag brings us up a bit from the alnorth downer. We have another classic shopgirl who brightens the day of all those around her as she greets visitors in her upscale hotel front desk job in her nicely pressed business attire.

Gender Female
Intelligence 66
Appearance 77
Wealth 39
Nation Vietnam
Region Khánh Hòa Province
Population 1,157,604

She lives on the second floor of this house:

I'll take it. Hot Vietnamese gal living here?



I'm in.

[Shag]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Gender Female
Intelligence 1
Appearance 62
Wealth 41
Nation Turkey
Region Denizli
Population 978,700

Um...yikes. You are one vulnerable female. I had to look this up, and you'll likely have an IQ in the 50s, which means that you won't finish elementary school and can do simple tasks with very close supervision. But hey, you have a nice figure, so you've got that going for you.

I suspect you'll live on the ground floor of this apartment building, because if you lived on an upper floor you'd probably fall off the balcony. Tough break.

https://www.google.com/maps/@37.8044...7i13312!8i6656

[New World Order]

Me Me Me Me!!

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by New World Order

Me Me Me Me!!

I got you already in Post 273. But before you look, I'll trade you my Niger life for yours even up. What do you say?


Here you go:

New World Order will be one of those women that everyone wants to know. Smart, attractive, and probably a snappy dresser.

Gender Female
Intelligence 87
Appearance 80
Wealth 54
Nation China
Region Guang'an
Population 4,304,219

She'll have a nicely decorated apartment that overlooks the river, because she's willing to make a few financial sacrifices to be surrounded by beauty.

[Abba-Dabba]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

RubberSponge steps out of the next womb and into a life as...

Gender Male
Intelligence 16
Appearance 32
Wealth 56
Nation China
Region Wuwei
Population 1,835,697

I suspect that he's a reasonably successful rice wholesaler, living almost in Inner Mongolia. He's not very bright and kind of homely, in large part because it's hard to exercise due to pollution in the area (the photo below is coal smoke, not fog). However, he's found his niche in life and has outkicked his coverage on a professional front. He lives here and coughs frequently:

So I'm still on the Silk Road. I can live with that.

[Steron]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Steron draws a relatively short straw in his next life:

Gender Male
Intelligence 16
Appearance 55
Wealth 28
Nation Egypt
Region Kafr el-Sheikh
Population 3,172,753

You'll probably snag a reasonable-looking wife as long as she's also not very bright, but your long-term prospects are somewhat bleak. It's kind of cool to live in the heart of the Nile delta, though. You're going to live in the top floor of this apartment not for the views, but because it doesn't have air conditioning and is stiflingly hot and therefore has cheap rent.

So I'm a stupid, decent looking, poor Egyptian. Great.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Steron

So I'm a stupid, decent looking, poor Egyptian. Great.

If it helps, I'll be looking upon your life with envy.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by RubberSponge

So I'm still on the Silk Road. I can live with that.

Are you on the Silk Road now?

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Gender Female
Intelligence 68
Appearance 81
Wealth 82
Nation Pakistan
Region Toba Tek Singh
Population 1,621,593

Smellway is a woman with a lot of good things going on. She's reasonably bright, quite good-looking, and comes from an upper class family. Granted, wealth and opportunity mean different things in different parts of the world, though, so she'll probably be throttled in her ambitions and end up marrying her father's cousin's oldest son, the one with the halitosis. But she'll live in one of the nicest homes in this neighborhood:

With my wealth, above average intelligence and stunning appearance I will become a famous indian cooking show host. The curried version of Giada De Laurentiis.