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Old 01-29-2004, 02:46 PM  
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Ask Iowanian. Pt II, the Keyboard of Doom

If you've got a problem, yo Ahll Solve it, check out my hooks, while DJ revolves it..tss tss ts tss tst

If Dr Laura, Dr Phil or Ann Landers couldn't help you.....Serve it up.


Its the offseason, the board needs something other than politics. This thread, and the answers will go where you take it. A serious Question....I'll try to help, and or rely on others......A not serious question....You'll get what you ask for.


disclaimer: Iowanian is not a licensed Doctor, Psychologist or anything else. No responsibility shall be taken by advisors on any issue within the thread. The answer "I have no #@%&* idea " is valid and acceptable for these purposes. If the thread sucks, it shall fade into planet oblivion.
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Old 11-18-2006, 12:06 PM   #301
Easy 6 Easy 6 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 58+90=sack
Simple solution:

Talk your daughter into liking rock stars by using reverse psychology,"Honey, I really hate musicians" then when she takes the bait, let your son start a band, move to Arkasas, Mississippi, or imbreeding state of your choice.

Just think, when she spends over night at his house, at least you'll know where she is!

Well, here goes...i just wanted to take a moment to "thank" those who repped this twunt for taking a swipe at my kids, i can handle any kind of insult thrown my way...but i expect the dirty jokes involving anyones kids to stay locked away.

I would never take sick shots at ANYONES kids here, no matter how much i cant stand them. If i get gang tackled for posting this then so be it......but i'm not going to sit & say nothing when i find out that some here thought it was funny.

So those that found it funny just put me on iggy & i'll do the same. There is no place IMO for shots like this even on a wild board like the Planet. Maybe i hold myself to a different standard, i dont know.

Bottom line is that the "joke" was pathetic, whether it happens online or in real life, i take insults to my children very seriously.

Its especially weird in light of the fact that i have given this dickhead NO reason to blindside my family like that, was hardly aware of his existence.

If you must, make fun of me not my kids......and speaking of "imbreeding" & "Arkasas", what school did you attend fuckface???
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Old 11-18-2006, 02:41 PM   #302
milkman milkman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scott free
Well, here goes...i just wanted to take a moment to "thank" those who repped this twunt for taking a swipe at my kids, i can handle any kind of insult thrown my way...but i expect the dirty jokes involving anyones kids to stay locked away.

I would never take sick shots at ANYONES kids here, no matter how much i cant stand them. If i get gang tackled for posting this then so be it......but i'm not going to sit & say nothing when i find out that some here thought it was funny.

So those that found it funny just put me on iggy & i'll do the same. There is no place IMO for shots like this even on a wild board like the Planet. Maybe i hold myself to a different standard, i dont know.

Bottom line is that the "joke" was pathetic, whether it happens online or in real life, i take insults to my children very seriously.

Its especially weird in light of the fact that i have given this dickhead NO reason to blindside my family like that, was hardly aware of his existence.

If you must, make fun of me not my kids......and speaking of "imbreeding" & "Arkasas", what school did you attend fuckface???
While I don't think his joke is funny, I also don't believe there was any hostility toward you intended.

Your overreaction will likely spark a lot of contentious posts toward you.
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Old 11-18-2006, 02:47 PM   #303
Easy 6 Easy 6 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by milkman
While I don't think his joke is funny, I also don't believe there was any hostility toward you intended.

Your overreaction will likely spark a lot of contentious posts toward you.

Well the joke included my daughter & son being "together", i dont see how i could have taken it any other way. Iowanian didnt try to turn it into something gross.

As for nastygrams from people, i am prepared for that, if i cant take some shit for defending my kids honor then i dont deserve them.

I guess the moral of this story is do not mention ones kids on a message board, it will only invite people to take unnecessary shots.
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Old 11-18-2006, 03:12 PM   #304
Bwana Bwana is offline
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Dear Iowanian: The more I see of Al Davis, the more I am convinced he has been dead for well over two years. I have a theory that after his death, they had him stuffed like a fine elk mount and or a Christmas goose. When they show various angles of Davis in any given sky box there isn't much movement. No more movement than can be explained by a few simple strings. :hmmm:

Please view a recent snap shot of Davis and let me know what you think!
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Old 11-18-2006, 03:14 PM   #305
2112 2112 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bwana
Dear Iowanian: The more I see of Al Davis, the more I am convinced he has been dead for well over two years. I have a theory that after his death, they had him stuffed like a fine elk mount and or a Christmas goose. When they show various angles of Davis in any given sky box there isn't much movement. No more movement than can be explained by a few simple strings.

Please view a recent snap shot of Davis and let me know what you think!
Here you go bud..
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Old 11-18-2006, 03:26 PM   #306
Bwana Bwana is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bill parcells
Here you go bud..
As I suspected, he's dead!!
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Old 11-18-2006, 03:34 PM   #307
CHIEF4EVER CHIEF4EVER is offline
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Dear Iowanian:

I have a female fitness trainer (our company has only female trainers) who is so hot the mere sight of her makes me sport more wood than the Redwood Forest. Thus far she hasn't noticed this at an awkward time but this could eventualy become a problem if I try to bench with a flagpole poking up the front of my shorts like Ringling Bros Big Top. She is a great fitness trainer an I don't want to offend her. Advice?
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Old 11-18-2006, 05:37 PM   #308
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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c4E.....

You've got a common problem. Its got an easy sollution too. As part of your "pre workout stretches"...rub the butter out of the breadstick.

you'll be relaxed for your workout, and the problem won't be visible.

Doing this particular stretch in the locker room or in the gym might have negative consequences though.
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Old 02-05-2008, 03:23 PM   #309
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Anyone want to pull this rope and see if there is still any gas in it?
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Old 02-05-2008, 03:25 PM   #310
crazycoffey crazycoffey is offline
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I hear there's a problem with uranus....
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Old 02-05-2008, 03:37 PM   #311
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Dear ''Keyboard of doom'',

What can be done to speed up this off-season?
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Old 02-05-2008, 03:47 PM   #312
luv luv is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian
Anyone want to pull this rope and see if there is still any gas in it?
I thought I was supposed to pull your finger?
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Old 02-05-2008, 04:01 PM   #313
StcChief StcChief is offline
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Keyboard of Doom..... can you reverse the 6 more weeks of winter I'm tired of it.
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Old 02-05-2008, 04:38 PM   #314
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrazyCoffey
I hear there's a problem with uranus....
Physicians I have surveyed have assured me that the uncomfortable pressure feeling will subside from uranus once your head is sufficiently removed from within its vast cavity.
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Old 02-05-2008, 04:43 PM   #315
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dimension2112
Dear ''Keyboard of doom'',

What can be done to speed up this off-season?
There are many suitable suggestions. Some may recommend purchasing a box of tampons or a tube of valtrex, as allegedly having gential herpes and menstrual cramps lead to high diving, horse riding, mountain biking and any assortment of enjoyable activities that these products, which apparently also make you beautiful can provide.

I'll offer a torrid affair with a freaky deee-vorse-ay, ski trip to colorado or long weekend in a warmer climate to assist in alleviating your problem.

I too suffer from this ailment, and at the *suggestion* of brideowanian am choosing to work extra unbillable hours, and remodeling a bathroom and tiling an entry way in my home

Last edited by Iowanian; 02-05-2008 at 04:52 PM..
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