Life FAX And The Lonely Australian Girl - Page 3

FAX · 04-14-2010, 11:27 PM

At 1:00 pm, this upcoming Sunday, I am attending a gathering of the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX's entire family. In and of itself, this is not particularly unusual. It is a close family and we get together fairly often for dinners and lunches and the occasional weekend crazy blowout featuring water skiing, martinis, and live bluegrass music. However, the reason for this weekend's event is somewhat unusual.

One of my brothers-in-law has been communicating via the internet thing with a girl from Australia. Apparently, they have texted or whatever they have done with each other and exchanged photographs. Now, this girl is flying to the United States of America in order to spend "time" with the brother-in-law and he is throwing a party for the purpose of introducing this person to his family.

I need some help. First off, I don't know a whole heck of a lot about Australia. I googled up some stuff then brushed my teeth and did an internet search. What I found is that it is a country on the other side of the Earth with kangaroos and strange indigenous persons who (in antiquity) used long spears to kill lizards and protect their cave paintings from aliens.

Second off, this party has every potential to be extremely awkward and I am taking it upon myself to do whatever is necessary (within reason, of course) to make this Australian person feel comfortable so that her relationship with my brother-in-law will flourish. Or, failing that, at least avoid the possibility that she run screaming into the streets.

Any ideas as to how to best impress a girl from Australia who has flown thousands of miles in pursuit of love? All contributions would be appreciated.

FAX THE SOMEWHAT CONCERNED

Disclaimers: Sorry if repost.

RippedmyFlesh · 04-15-2010, 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FAX

That's great, Mr. RippedmyFlesh. I'll just print out a page from wiki.

Jeez, man. I appreciate the help, but she obviously has internet thing skills, otherwise she wouldn't have made contact with my brother-in-law. She probably knows how to look up Australia on the wiki deal already. And showing her the top rated Australian TV shows might not be all that, either. I'm assuming she either has a TV or has seen a TV at some point.

FAX

sorry was just some stuff i thought interesting. i'll shut up

**Kyle DeLexus** · 04-15-2010, 12:15 AM

Foster's Australian for beer.

House M.D. has an Australian on it.

Incorporate Australian slang into your conversations....http://www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html

kregger · 04-15-2010, 12:17 AM

Do you have a swimming pool or a boat? Maybe she'll model a Wicked Weasel or two for you all.

FAX · 04-15-2010, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RippedmyFlesh

sorry was just some stuff i thought interesting. i'll shut up

It is interesting, Mr. RippedmyFlesh. It's very interesting, in fact.

But, it's not that. It's just that she's from Australia. I need to either make her feel comfortable or come up with some "American" stuff that she might find interesting.

Like say you were being introduced to a family in Australia. What sort of stuff could they do that would impress you and make you feel at home, you know?

FAX

FAX · 04-15-2010, 12:18 AM

I know I'm going to regret this ...

What's a Wicked Weasel?

FAX

Chiefs=Champions · 04-15-2010, 12:20 AM

I myself suffer from being 'Australian'.. its not all its cracked up to be.. though the women are lovely...

kregger · 04-15-2010, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FAX

I know I'm going to regret this ...

What's a Wicked Weasel?

FAX

Ah Mr FAX, you must have never done the down under internet thingy. wickedweasel.com

**Kyle DeLexus** · 04-15-2010, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kregger

Do you have a swimming pool or a boat? Maybe she'll model a Wicked Weasel or two for you all.

It'd be better if she's a white pointer

FAX · 04-15-2010, 12:32 AM

Okay. I'm going to save the research into weasels and pointers for tomorrow. It's late here in America and I'm grabbing some shut-eye.

I have a few days to get this figured out, anyhow. Thanks to all for the assistance and I'm sorry if I offended you Mr. RippedmyFlesh. I guess I'm just a little edgy in that this is the first occasion in which I've been held responsible for entertaining a potential Australian sister-in-law who's never been to this country and whose entire, life-long opinion of the USA will be based solely on her experience on Sunday. I don't want her to think that she's marrying into a family of ignorant clods and, on top of that, we sure don't need to provoke an international incident.

FAX

Chiefs=Champions · 04-15-2010, 12:34 AM

Just make sure u have a lot of booze. Shell fit right in...

Fritz88 · 04-15-2010, 12:43 AM

The great Mr. FAX.

There are many things to talk about when meeting a person from Australia, it just depends on how informed that person is about his/her own country.

One thing comes to mind and I am pretty sure any Australian has some background about is the vastness and wilderness of Australia. You could compare what's in the States with what they have. Both countries have amazing landscapes, wildlife, etc.

They have this , could be creepy though

If she's into politics you could ask her about the recent Chinese ship that the Australian authorities have seized for dumping shit in the Aussie reef.

They have indigenous people. Their version on Native Americans.

Ask about their sports

. Aussie footie.

How does it feel living in a country where Christmas is during summer time?

This what comes to mind now, I hope that helps.

Cornstock · 04-15-2010, 12:57 AM

I have a friend from Australia so I will tell you a little of what Ive learned.
Firstly, theyre not shrimp, theyre prawns. Looks like you learned that already.
Also, the Australian I know finds it offensive when people say "Throw another shrimp on the bar bee." Apparently its insultingly stereotypical.
And not even Australians like Fosters.

**Kyle DeLexus** · 04-15-2010, 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fritz88

Ask about their sports

. Aussie footie.

Good idea, I'd talk about the midget Olympics.

DrRyan · 04-15-2010, 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyle DeLexus

Foster's Australian for beer.

House M.D. has an Australian on it.

Incorporate Australian slang into your conversations....http://www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html

I lived in Australia and New Zealand for the better part of a year. I would recommend against Foster's. It is the piss beer that in general, Aussie's don't drink.

The Australian Football League(AFL) is actually quite interesting. The St. Kilda Saints were the team of most of my family down there. I got into it a bit when I could only listen to our suffering Chiefs via the local 101 radio broadcast on nfl.com.

Most of the Aussie's I got to know while down there were easy going, fun people. Many of them rowdy, with an uncouth sense of humor.

RippedmyFlesh · 04-15-2010, 01:04 AM

To me she seems the adventurous type.I think she would want to experience a different countries culture and food more so than wanting someone to make something feel like home. If someone was here for a long period of time you would want to get them creature comforts from home. But for a short visit I don't think she would "miss" stuff from home.
Having Jack Daniels in Tennessee would be like having champagne in france.
Just doing what you would do and serving what you would serve if she wasn't there would prob give her the most fun.
Partying with the Fax clan and some bluegrass I am sure would be a lot of fun for her.

04-14-2010, 11:27 PM
FAX testing ... 1, 2, 3 Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Tennessee Casino cash: $6753759	FAX And The Lonely Australian Girl At 1:00 pm, this upcoming Sunday, I am attending a gathering of the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX's entire family. In and of itself, this is not particularly unusual. It is a close family and we get together fairly often for dinners and lunches and the occasional weekend crazy blowout featuring water skiing, martinis, and live bluegrass music. However, the reason for this weekend's event is somewhat unusual. One of my brothers-in-law has been communicating via the internet thing with a girl from Australia. Apparently, they have texted or whatever they have done with each other and exchanged photographs. Now, this girl is flying to the United States of America in order to spend "time" with the brother-in-law and he is throwing a party for the purpose of introducing this person to his family. I need some help. First off, I don't know a whole heck of a lot about Australia. I googled up some stuff then brushed my teeth and did an internet search. What I found is that it is a country on the other side of the Earth with kangaroos and strange indigenous persons who (in antiquity) used long spears to kill lizards and protect their cave paintings from aliens. Second off, this party has every potential to be extremely awkward and I am taking it upon myself to do whatever is necessary (within reason, of course) to make this Australian person feel comfortable so that her relationship with my brother-in-law will flourish. Or, failing that, at least avoid the possibility that she run screaming into the streets. Any ideas as to how to best impress a girl from Australia who has flown thousands of miles in pursuit of love? All contributions would be appreciated. FAX THE SOMEWHAT CONCERNED Disclaimers: Sorry if repost.
Posts: 44,492

04-15-2010, 12:15 AM	#32
Kyle DeLexus Opie and Anthony XM 105 Join Date: Nov 2008 Casino cash: $10002400	Foster's Australian for beer. House M.D. has an Australian on it. Incorporate Australian slang into your conversations....http://www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html
Posts: 7,910

04-15-2010, 12:17 AM	#33
kregger thick as a brick Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: alpha centauri Casino cash: $10004925	Do you have a swimming pool or a boat? Maybe she'll model a Wicked Weasel or two for you all.
Posts: 964

04-15-2010, 12:18 AM	#35
FAX testing ... 1, 2, 3 Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Tennessee Casino cash: $6753759	I know I'm going to regret this ... What's a Wicked Weasel? FAX
Posts: 44,492

04-15-2010, 12:20 AM	#36
Chiefs=Champions Training Camp Hero Join Date: Oct 2006 Casino cash: $8504801	I myself suffer from being 'Australian'.. its not all its cracked up to be.. though the women are lovely...
Posts: 5,996

04-15-2010, 12:32 AM	#39
FAX testing ... 1, 2, 3 Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Tennessee Casino cash: $6753759	Okay. I'm going to save the research into weasels and pointers for tomorrow. It's late here in America and I'm grabbing some shut-eye. I have a few days to get this figured out, anyhow. Thanks to all for the assistance and I'm sorry if I offended you Mr. RippedmyFlesh. I guess I'm just a little edgy in that this is the first occasion in which I've been held responsible for entertaining a potential Australian sister-in-law who's never been to this country and whose entire, life-long opinion of the USA will be based solely on her experience on Sunday. I don't want her to think that she's marrying into a family of ignorant clods and, on top of that, we sure don't need to provoke an international incident. FAX
Posts: 44,492

04-15-2010, 12:34 AM	#40
Chiefs=Champions Training Camp Hero Join Date: Oct 2006 Casino cash: $8504801	Just make sure u have a lot of booze. Shell fit right in...
Posts: 5,996

04-15-2010, 12:43 AM	#41
Fritz88 Custom User Title Join Date: Nov 2008 Casino cash: $8835943	The great Mr. FAX. There are many things to talk about when meeting a person from Australia, it just depends on how informed that person is about his/her own country. One thing comes to mind and I am pretty sure any Australian has some background about is the vastness and wilderness of Australia. You could compare what's in the States with what they have. Both countries have amazing landscapes, wildlife, etc. They have this , could be creepy though If she's into politics you could ask her about the recent Chinese ship that the Australian authorities have seized for dumping shit in the Aussie reef. They have indigenous people. Their version on Native Americans. Ask about their sports . Aussie footie. How does it feel living in a country where Christmas is during summer time? This what comes to mind now, I hope that helps.
Posts: 12,706

04-15-2010, 12:57 AM	#42
Cornstock Veteran Join Date: Oct 2008 Casino cash: $9986835	I have a friend from Australia so I will tell you a little of what Ive learned. Firstly, theyre not shrimp, theyre prawns. Looks like you learned that already. Also, the Australian I know finds it offensive when people say "Throw another shrimp on the bar bee." Apparently its insultingly stereotypical. And not even Australians like Fosters.
Posts: 1,606

04-15-2010, 01:04 AM	#45
RippedmyFlesh Veteran Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: New York Casino cash: $10005817	To me she seems the adventurous type.I think she would want to experience a different countries culture and food more so than wanting someone to make something feel like home. If someone was here for a long period of time you would want to get them creature comforts from home. But for a short visit I don't think she would "miss" stuff from home. Having Jack Daniels in Tennessee would be like having champagne in france. Just doing what you would do and serving what you would serve if she wasn't there would prob give her the most fun. Partying with the Fax clan and some bluegrass I am sure would be a lot of fun for her.
Posts: 4,848