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Old 08-28-2013, 07:37 AM  
MOhillbilly MOhillbilly is offline
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Forgiveness
Are you a forgiving person by nature or do you have to work at letting shit go?

I don't think I've ever let anything go in my life and tbh I can feel it dragging me down.
Now that I have a Kid of my own and three step kids I dont wanna transfer my tendencies of anger and vengeance to the little ones.

At one point this was what I considered a strength but now that I've settled into domestic bliss its become a weakness.

Give me some wisdom fellas.
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:52 AM   #31
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Originally Posted by MOhillbilly View Post
So what brought you to that point?
I was always the guy that would have a few beers and be the life of the party. I was angry as all hell but I'd have a few and just let stuff go.

In the span of a few months I lost my house, wife, kid, job, and about 95% of everything I owned. At the last minute I drove out to 'Zoners place for a CP gathering figuring it was just what I needed.

Short story long I ended up having a total lose-yer-$#it moment there. Got a phone call THEN everything just hit the tipping point. I cried like a bidge and broke down.

Mr. and Mrs. 'Zoner were there. They had lives of their own. They had to work. Despite that they helped. All they had to go on was 2 'Zoner events with me and they went out of their way. (I've never properly thanked them for that. One day I will.)

Those people are rare. They are ****ing abnormalities that you don't happen upon all that often. Truly good people are not common.

It sounds maudlin but it really did change my outlook.

How much I can hurt you became less important than how much I can help you...
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"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:53 AM   #32
Frazod Frazod is offline
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Depends on how far I'm pushed, or the nature of the transgression. Cross a certain line, and you're done forever.
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:54 AM   #33
AdumbGuy AdumbGuy is offline
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I hold grudges against utterly pointless things that I can do virtually nothing but rant about. Lousy Casshole!!!
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:54 AM   #34
BigCatDaddy BigCatDaddy is online now
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In all seriousness, shit happens. If it happens once I'm good natured about it and let it slide. I'm sure I've pissed people off in my time that blew it off. If they start mistaking your kindness as weakness and don't respect you than you have to put your flag in the ground and foot in someone's ass. Then it's on them if they want to hold a grudge or not
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:55 AM   #35
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Frazod would light a fast food worker on fire for shorting him a pickle in a happy meal....




For me, forgiving someone isn't about them really. It's about me not waking up in the night with my hands hurting from clenching fists in a dream about bashing their head in with a hammer..........or getting physically angry every time I pass them in a car.

It's just not worth the wasted energy. Life is too short. Hopefully I'll get better at remembering that.
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:56 AM   #36
Frazod Frazod is offline
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Actually, I ****ING HATE PICKLES.
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:58 AM   #37
BlackHelicopters BlackHelicopters is offline
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Always forgive. Life is too short. You don't have to continue to be friends with those that cross you, but always forgive. Don't let garbage pile up in your head. Soon, your head will be full of other people's garbage bags.
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:58 AM   #38
Just Passin' By Just Passin' By is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MOhillbilly View Post
Are you a forgiving person by nature or do you have to work at letting shit go?

I don't think I've ever let anything go in my life and tbh I can feel it dragging me down.
Now that I have a Kid of my own and three step kids I dont wanna transfer my tendencies of anger and vengeance to the little ones.

At one point this was what I considered a strength but now that I've settled into domestic bliss its become a weakness.

Give me some wisdom fellas.
My suggestion for you:

Don't sweat the small shit.

Don't accept the big shit.

Don't let others tell you what you have to forgive.
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:00 AM   #39
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frazod View Post
Depends on how far I'm pushed, or the nature of the transgression. Cross a certain line, and you're done forever.
...
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Quote:
"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
Posts: 74,429
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:02 AM   #40
Frazod Frazod is offline
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...
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:04 AM   #41
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Originally Posted by theelusiveeightrop View Post
Always forgive. Life is too short. You don't have to continue to be friends with those that cross you, but always forgive. Don't let garbage pile up in your head. Soon, your head will be full of other people's garbage bags.
This...
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Quote:
"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
Posts: 74,429
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:08 AM   #42
luv luv is offline
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I think being a forgiving person and bottling things up are two different things. Some forgiveness is important. I think some have said not to sweat the small stuff. Just determine where the line is between small and big. Regarding bottling things up, it's good to either have someone to vent to or an activity you can do to help release some stuff. Talk to the little lady about things, go shoot things, work the farm, etc.
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:09 AM   #43
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Originally Posted by luv View Post
I think being a forgiving person and bottling things up are two different things. Some forgiveness is important. I think some have said not to sweat the small stuff. Just determine where the line is between small and big. Regarding bottling things up, it's good to either have someone to vent to or an activity you can do to help release some stuff. Talk to the little lady about things, go shoot things, work the farm, etc.
You bottle things up but you're still naturally forgiving.

It doesn't come naturally to all...
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Quote:
"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
Posts: 74,429
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:11 AM   #44
Dartgod Dartgod is offline
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I don't intend to get all religious here, but we recently studied Romans 12 in our bible study class. Whether you are a believer or not, there is some very good advice on how we should all live our lives.

True that there are some transgressions that are very difficult, or likely impossible to let go, but as a rule, this is the way I try to live.

14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!

17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,

“I will take revenge;
I will pay them back,”
says the Lord.

20 Instead,

“If your enemies are hungry, feed them.
If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap
burning coals of shame on their heads.”

21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:13 AM   #45
BlackHelicopters BlackHelicopters is offline
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It is hard to forgive. Be of strong resolve, and be the better human being.
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