If other NFL quarterbacks had been riding Ben Roethlisberger's motorcycle... - Page 4

**Rain Man** · 06-13-2006, 05:44 PM

We all know what happened to Ben - some busted teeth, a lot of blood, and a good chewing out by Bill Cowher. But what would've been the outcomes for other NFL quarterbacks in this situation? Here's my theory.

Drew Bledsoe – He would have come under scorching criticism from Terrell Owens.

Eli Manning – Archie would have intervened and forced Philip Rivers to get on the motorcycle.

Donovan McNabb – He would have come under scorching criticism from Terrell Owens.

Mark Brunell – He would have thanked God for giving him that wonderful experience and would have tried to baptize the driver of the car.

Brett Favre – He would have received enormous national coverage and sympathy, and then participated in minicamp the following week, throwing seven interceptions.

Brad Johnson – Nobody would have noticed.

Rex Grossman – This is a trick question, because Grossman wouldn’t have been on the motorcycle. He would’ve been at a surgical clinic having arthroscopic surgery.

Josh McCown – Matt Millen would’ve traded for a wide receiver to replace him.

Chris Simms – People would’ve thought he was Brad Johnson.

Michael Vick – The media would be commenting on how he face-planted spectacularly, and no other quarterback could’ve done it.

Drew Brees – He would’ve been traded or cut because, hey, when you’ve got Reggie Bush you don’t need any other players.

Jake Delhomme – He would have survived and been okay, but people would credit Julius Peppers for saving him.

Alex Smith – He would’ve secretly been grateful for missing the 49ers’ season.

Matt Leinert – He would’ve dropped drastically on the draft chart amidst rumors that he can’t take a hit.

Matt Hasselbeck – He would’ve been embarrassed, because five seconds before the crash he would have predicted that he would beat the car.

Marc Bulger – (Long silence). I got nothing. There’s not a single thing about Bulger that’s interesting.

J.P. Losman – He would’ve overshot and missed the car completely.

Daunte Culpepper – Three years ago, he would have crushed the car and kept on going. Now, he would be injured and the driver of the car would have ended up with everything he was carrying.

Chad Pennington – He would’ve been injured. Duh.

Tom Brady – Angels would have descended and saved Tom from harm, and then after the other car stopped, Tom would have climbed into the back seat and given the driver a neck massage to calm her down.

Steve McNair – He would have walked it off, because Steve McNair is tough, man. He’s really tough. Everyone would have been talking about how tough he is.

Carson Palmer – Kimo Von Oelhoffen would have been ticketed for an illegal left turn.

Charlie Frye – Trent Dilfer would take over the team, win a Super Bowl, and then get benched when Elvis Grbac decided to come out of retirement

Peyton Manning – During his first year back, the NFL would institute a special rule that nobody is allowed to touch Manning, and he only has to say the name of a receiver for it to count as a completed pass.

Vince Young – Pfft. As if anything could hit Vince Young...

Byron Leftwich – He would’ve been okay, but Fred Taylor would have been hospitalized with sympathy pains.

David Carr – He would’ve been fine. He takes harder hits than that every Sunday.

Trent Green – If you think that car would’ve made it past Willie Roaf and Will Shields, you’re crazy.

Aaron Brooks – Al Davis would fire Art Shell.

Philip Rivers – Nobody knows…nobody has any idea at all.

Jake Plummer – He wouldn’t have hit the windshield at all, because Broncos only hit in the back.

mcan · 07-29-2006, 11:09 PM

Very funny stuff RAIN... I wish I'd started something that circulated the internet and got someone a sitcom....

Oops... Cat's out of the bad Rain. OK, I might as well tell you. They want you to write a sitcom, but the bad news is: it's the WB. So, you might as well just go back to bed.

Ultra Peanut · 07-30-2006, 11:24 AM

Silly rabbit. The WB is no more.

**Rain Man** · 07-30-2006, 11:50 AM

I'll write for the WB. Don't I just have to make all of the characters teenagers?

milkman · 07-30-2006, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I'll write for the WB. Don't I just have to make all of the characters teenagers?

Is that true?

**the Talking Can** · 07-30-2006, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Michael Vick – The media would be commenting on how he face-planted spectacularly, and no other quarterback could’ve done it.

Alex Smith – He would’ve secretly been grateful for missing the 49ers’ season.

J.P. Losman – He would’ve overshot and missed the car completely.

Carson Palmer – Kimo Von Oelhoffen would have been ticketed for an illegal left turn.

Trent Green – If you think that car would’ve made it past Willie Roaf and Will Shields, you’re crazy.

.

nice

Rich Gannon - He woud have yelled and pointed a finger at his motorcycle...embarrassing for everyone on the scene to watch.

**Rain Man** · 07-30-2006, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by milkman

Is that true?

If you're going to start demanding that all of my posts be factually correct, I might as well stop posting right now.

06-13-2006, 05:44 PM
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-642449 VARSITY	If other NFL quarterbacks had been riding Ben Roethlisberger's motorcycle... We all know what happened to Ben - some busted teeth, a lot of blood, and a good chewing out by Bill Cowher. But what would've been the outcomes for other NFL quarterbacks in this situation? Here's my theory. Drew Bledsoe – He would have come under scorching criticism from Terrell Owens. Eli Manning – Archie would have intervened and forced Philip Rivers to get on the motorcycle. Donovan McNabb – He would have come under scorching criticism from Terrell Owens. Mark Brunell – He would have thanked God for giving him that wonderful experience and would have tried to baptize the driver of the car. Brett Favre – He would have received enormous national coverage and sympathy, and then participated in minicamp the following week, throwing seven interceptions. Brad Johnson – Nobody would have noticed. Rex Grossman – This is a trick question, because Grossman wouldn’t have been on the motorcycle. He would’ve been at a surgical clinic having arthroscopic surgery. Josh McCown – Matt Millen would’ve traded for a wide receiver to replace him. Chris Simms – People would’ve thought he was Brad Johnson. Michael Vick – The media would be commenting on how he face-planted spectacularly, and no other quarterback could’ve done it. Drew Brees – He would’ve been traded or cut because, hey, when you’ve got Reggie Bush you don’t need any other players. Jake Delhomme – He would have survived and been okay, but people would credit Julius Peppers for saving him. Alex Smith – He would’ve secretly been grateful for missing the 49ers’ season. Matt Leinert – He would’ve dropped drastically on the draft chart amidst rumors that he can’t take a hit. Matt Hasselbeck – He would’ve been embarrassed, because five seconds before the crash he would have predicted that he would beat the car. Marc Bulger – (Long silence). I got nothing. There’s not a single thing about Bulger that’s interesting. J.P. Losman – He would’ve overshot and missed the car completely. Daunte Culpepper – Three years ago, he would have crushed the car and kept on going. Now, he would be injured and the driver of the car would have ended up with everything he was carrying. Chad Pennington – He would’ve been injured. Duh. Tom Brady – Angels would have descended and saved Tom from harm, and then after the other car stopped, Tom would have climbed into the back seat and given the driver a neck massage to calm her down. Steve McNair – He would have walked it off, because Steve McNair is tough, man. He’s really tough. Everyone would have been talking about how tough he is. Carson Palmer – Kimo Von Oelhoffen would have been ticketed for an illegal left turn. Charlie Frye – Trent Dilfer would take over the team, win a Super Bowl, and then get benched when Elvis Grbac decided to come out of retirement Peyton Manning – During his first year back, the NFL would institute a special rule that nobody is allowed to touch Manning, and he only has to say the name of a receiver for it to count as a completed pass. Vince Young – Pfft. As if anything could hit Vince Young... Byron Leftwich – He would’ve been okay, but Fred Taylor would have been hospitalized with sympathy pains. David Carr – He would’ve been fine. He takes harder hits than that every Sunday. Trent Green – If you think that car would’ve made it past Willie Roaf and Will Shields, you’re crazy. Aaron Brooks – Al Davis would fire Art Shell. Philip Rivers – Nobody knows…nobody has any idea at all. Jake Plummer – He wouldn’t have hit the windshield at all, because Broncos only hit in the back.
Posts: 145,444

07-29-2006, 11:09 PM	#46
mcan Apr 13,1949 – Dec 15, 2011 Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Kansas City, MO Casino cash: $9996085	Very funny stuff RAIN... I wish I'd started something that circulated the internet and got someone a sitcom.... Oops... Cat's out of the bad Rain. OK, I might as well tell you. They want you to write a sitcom, but the bad news is: it's the WB. So, you might as well just go back to bed.
Posts: 3,761

07-30-2006, 11:24 AM	#47
Ultra Peanut v^V^v^V^v^V^ Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Holland* Casino cash: $10005177	Silly rabbit. The WB is no more. __________________
Posts: 39,518

07-30-2006, 11:50 AM	#48
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-642449 VARSITY	I'll write for the WB. Don't I just have to make all of the characters teenagers? __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,444