Life Forgiveness - Page 4

MOhillbilly · 08-28-2013, 07:37 AM

Are you a forgiving person by nature or do you have to work at letting shit go?

I don't think I've ever let anything go in my life and tbh I can feel it dragging me down.
Now that I have a Kid of my own and three step kids I dont wanna transfer my tendencies of anger and vengeance to the little ones.

At one point this was what I considered a strength but now that I've settled into domestic bliss its become a weakness.

Give me some wisdom fellas.

BlackHelicopters · 08-28-2013, 09:14 AM

Revenge solves nothing. We are not judges. Let God be the judge. Live life as Jesus would have, and life is pretty easy.

**Gonzo** · 08-28-2013, 10:32 AM

It depends on the situation. If its something big, I tend to be the type of person that holds onto the grudge forever. I will eventually find the opportunity for payback. Wether it be 5 days, months, years or decades. I will deliver vengeance.

El Jefe · 08-28-2013, 10:41 AM

I forgive, but I do not forget. I know some people will say "then you didn't truly forgive the person". I respond to that by saying, that me forgiving you, does not mean that you enter back into my circle of trust. Once hurt, I do not expose myself to be hurt again. Trust takes a second to lose and a lifetime to gain.

Fritz88 · 08-28-2013, 10:50 AM

Read a book by a professional. I am sure there are some for raising kids.
Posted via Mobile Device

Mr. Laz · 08-28-2013, 10:56 AM

Forgive - yes, as long as i believe they really didn't mean it or are really sorry. If it was an accident, then i can forgive very quickly. If it was a deliberate decision to screw me over then it takes longer.

Forget - not so much

**Rausch** · 08-28-2013, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dartgod

14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people.

Solid advice.

Church going or not...

ToxSocks · 08-28-2013, 11:04 AM

It's a good question. Coming into this thread, i had my answer; forgive and forget.

But if i dig a little deeper down, i'd be a hypocrite if i said i applied that to everything in life. For the most part i do. I believe that grudges are a waste of energy, i hate being mad at someone because it's a waste of my leisure time, i'd rather be doing something else than be mad about something. For the most part, men have a better ability to let go of things than women do. You can get into a fight with your friend, get it all out of you, get over it and then the two of you go smoke a bowl and get some munchies. That's the way i view Chiefsplanet as well.

But....I don't think i've forgiven my dad. I haven't seen the guy since i ran away 13 years ago.

If i can forgive everyone else, i should be able to forgive him. But i haven't. Not sure that i could. I don't know. I do know that my upbringing has affected me as a "family man" and not always in a good way. I don't know that meeting my dad again and working it out would change any of that though. It might be too late for that.

seclark · 08-28-2013, 11:16 AM

as I've grown into an old bastard, I've learned to forgive others. it takes a little longer, but I can also forget how others may have wronged me.

forgiving myself though, is a problem, and i'm sure it always will be.
sec

Frazod · 08-28-2013, 11:17 AM

The people who have seriously wronged me are no longer a part of my life and haven't been for years or decades. Most are in other states, or other countries. Some are dead (no, I didn't do it). So the betrayal/torment/whatever at this point only exists in my memory. I some cases these events have scarred me, in others, they've just molded me. But the perpetrators are long gone. It's not like any of them are actually ****ing with me now, or I run into them at the grocery store. And even if I did, I'd probably just scowl at them and go on my way.

As Grumpy Cat so eloquently said - it's not that I hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.

08-28-2013, 11:20 AM

Forgiveness has always been tied to respect for me. I struggle to forgive somebody who has repeatedly and intentionally disrespected me or my family. Other than that, I forgive easily. There are 3 or 4 people out there that will probably never be fully forgiven but I try not to let it consume me. That shit isn't healthy at all.

Obviously, we have some scriptures on this thread. Regardless of how you feel about Christians or God, there are some very, very sound ideas in the Bible with regard to marriage, forgiveness, and living in a civilized society.

08-28-2013, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

The people who have seriously wronged me are no longer a part of my life and haven't been for years or decades. Most are in other states, or other countries. Some are dead (no, I didn't do it). So the betrayal/torment/whatever at this point only exists in my memory. I some cases these events have scarred me, in others, they've just molded me. But the perpetrators are long gone. It's not like any of them are actually ****ing with me now, or I run into them at the grocery store. And even if I did, I'd probably just scowl at them and go on my way.

As Grumpy Cat so eloquently said - it's not that I hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.

Yeah, but if you knew how to forgive properly, you'd have hair... and a fridge.

**Rausch** · 08-28-2013, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

So the betrayal/torment/whatever at this point only exists in my memory.

And that's all that needs to be said.

Bad things happen to all people. You move on and choose to make the lives of those you love better...

Frazod · 08-28-2013, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

Yeah, but if you knew how to forgive properly, you'd have hair... and a fridge.

Nah. Hair started going when I was still relatively unscathed.

And the fridge still works.

**Rausch** · 08-28-2013, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

Nah. Hair started going when I was still relatively unscathed.

And the fridge still works.

I believe the fridge part...

listopencil · 08-28-2013, 11:35 AM

If you can truly forgive then you should. You'll feel better afterwards. But when I say "forgive" I mean that you are prepared to continue on with your life behaving as if the event never happened. You can still absorb life lessons from the event but you have to treat the person as if they never did you wrong, and do so willingly without rancor. If you can't do that then you shouldn't try to live as if you've forgiven someone because you haven't.

08-28-2013, 07:37 AM
MOhillbilly Mama Tried Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Missouri Casino cash: $9949903	Forgiveness Are you a forgiving person by nature or do you have to work at letting shit go? I don't think I've ever let anything go in my life and tbh I can feel it dragging me down. Now that I have a Kid of my own and three step kids I dont wanna transfer my tendencies of anger and vengeance to the little ones. At one point this was what I considered a strength but now that I've settled into domestic bliss its become a weakness. Give me some wisdom fellas.
Posts: 23,371

08-28-2013, 09:14 AM	#46
BlackHelicopters Spiraling down the Drain Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Dante's Ninth Circle Casino cash: $2380588	Revenge solves nothing. We are not judges. Let God be the judge. Live life as Jesus would have, and life is pretty easy. __________________ "We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family." "Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever." 2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87
Posts: 31,737

08-28-2013, 10:41 AM	#48
El Jefe Don't tread on me. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Where the peaches grow Casino cash: $9030572	I forgive, but I do not forget. I know some people will say "then you didn't truly forgive the person". I respond to that by saying, that me forgiving you, does not mean that you enter back into my circle of trust. Once hurt, I do not expose myself to be hurt again. Trust takes a second to lose and a lifetime to gain.
Posts: 8,540

08-28-2013, 10:50 AM	#49
Fritz88 Custom User Title Join Date: Nov 2008 Casino cash: $8835943	Read a book by a professional. I am sure there are some for raising kids. Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 12,706

08-28-2013, 10:56 AM	#50
Mr. Laz Don't Tease Me Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: KS Casino cash: $11047037	Forgive - yes, as long as i believe they really didn't mean it or are really sorry. If it was an accident, then i can forgive very quickly. If it was a deliberate decision to screw me over then it takes longer. Forget - not so much __________________
Posts: 95,626

08-28-2013, 11:04 AM	#52
ToxSocks Needs more middle fingers Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: San Diego Casino cash: $4024563	It's a good question. Coming into this thread, i had my answer; forgive and forget. But if i dig a little deeper down, i'd be a hypocrite if i said i applied that to everything in life. For the most part i do. I believe that grudges are a waste of energy, i hate being mad at someone because it's a waste of my leisure time, i'd rather be doing something else than be mad about something. For the most part, men have a better ability to let go of things than women do. You can get into a fight with your friend, get it all out of you, get over it and then the two of you go smoke a bowl and get some munchies. That's the way i view Chiefsplanet as well. But....I don't think i've forgiven my dad. I haven't seen the guy since i ran away 13 years ago. If i can forgive everyone else, i should be able to forgive him. But i haven't. Not sure that i could. I don't know. I do know that my upbringing has affected me as a "family man" and not always in a good way. I don't know that meeting my dad again and working it out would change any of that though. It might be too late for that.
Posts: 64,593

08-28-2013, 11:16 AM	#53
seclark MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: nemo Casino cash: $1329900	as I've grown into an old bastard, I've learned to forgive others. it takes a little longer, but I can also forget how others may have wronged me. forgiving myself though, is a problem, and i'm sure it always will be. sec __________________ "Mr. seclark. Wrong for gravy, wrong for jelly, wrong for biscuits." -rj "If every Planeteer who was disliked by another Planeteer stopped being a Planeteer we wouldn't have any Planeteers." -rj
Posts: 13,406

08-28-2013, 11:17 AM	#54
Frazod WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $2765085	The people who have seriously wronged me are no longer a part of my life and haven't been for years or decades. Most are in other states, or other countries. Some are dead (no, I didn't do it). So the betrayal/torment/whatever at this point only exists in my memory. I some cases these events have scarred me, in others, they've just molded me. But the perpetrators are long gone. It's not like any of them are actually ****ing with me now, or I run into them at the grocery store. And even if I did, I'd probably just scowl at them and go on my way. As Grumpy Cat so eloquently said - it's not that I hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.
Posts: 119,539

08-28-2013, 11:20 AM	#55
Phobia Guest Casino cash: $	Forgiveness has always been tied to respect for me. I struggle to forgive somebody who has repeatedly and intentionally disrespected me or my family. Other than that, I forgive easily. There are 3 or 4 people out there that will probably never be fully forgiven but I try not to let it consume me. That shit isn't healthy at all. Obviously, we have some scriptures on this thread. Regardless of how you feel about Christians or God, there are some very, very sound ideas in the Bible with regard to marriage, forgiveness, and living in a civilized society.
Posts: n/a

08-28-2013, 11:35 AM	#60
listopencil Immanentize The Eschaton Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In Partibus Infidelium Casino cash: $1865880	If you can truly forgive then you should. You'll feel better afterwards. But when I say "forgive" I mean that you are prepared to continue on with your life behaving as if the event never happened. You can still absorb life lessons from the event but you have to treat the person as if they never did you wrong, and do so willingly without rancor. If you can't do that then you shouldn't try to live as if you've forgiven someone because you haven't. __________________ Good friends we have had, oh, good friends we've lost...along the way. In this great future, you can't forget your past. So dry your tears, I say.
Posts: 55,995