My day - a snippet of life.

[Rain Man]

I got up and put some laundry in because today is laundry day, and then I went to the dry cleaner to drop some shirts off. It's always awkward to go to the dry cleaner because I've been going there for 18 years and I never asked the guy's name, and after the first few years it seemed inappropriate to ask.

Then I went for a run. In Mile 1 I found a smart phone, which oddly is the second smart phone I've found this week. I ran 11 miles, which meant that I had to carry the phone for ten miles. I had my sunglasses on, and they're really dark glasses with a sporty frame. Age is all about the eyes, and when you can't see my eyes I look younger. I know this because women runners smile and say hi when I'm running in my sunglasses, and they ignore me when I'm wearing my regular glasses. Women like a young guy, apparently.

I thought the phone was locked and didn't bother checking until I finished my run. I swiped it and it opened, which was good. There was a text from somebody offering a $25 reward for returning it. I pondered looking for naked pictures on it, but it was a guy's phone so I didn't. I dropped it off when I went out for lunch, and got a phone message where the guy said thank you twelve times in sixty seconds. He said he owes me a favor so I'm going to see if he'll kill someone for me. That would be really cool.

My wife took me to lunch and she decided that we're going to start trying new places. She took me to a place that had rusty light fixtures and odd tables, but that's part of the upscale trendiness. I only saw one thing on the menu that I liked, and it turned out that I didn't like it so I only ate half. I got a kale salad on the side and it was good, but the water glasses were only about six ounces and I'd just run 11 miles, so that was no good. You had to refill your water glass yourself, so it was up and down, up and down. I didn't get any of the good-looking desserts and when we left I told my wife that I was never going back unless it was just for dessert. She seemed disappointed that I didn't like it.

We decided to go to a movie, so we ran downtown and saw the one where Michael Oher's mom goes into outer space and gets blindsided. It was in 3-D, which I don't really get. I usually don't notice the 3-D part, and I'm always worried that the 3-D lenses will scratch the lenses on my regular glasses. Interestingly, if I watch a 2-D movie without my regular glasses, it looks just like a 3-D movie with my regular glasses and without the 3-D glasses. I like the continuity of that.

It was a massive movie theater, and the movie with Michael Oher's mom was in the second-to-last theater, which meant going in, going left, going upstairs, going left again, turning right, walking down a long aisle, turning left again, and then one final right turn. As the previews were ending we realized that everyone else was putting on their 3-D glasses and we had none. The woman in the row ahead of us said that the ticket taker was supposed to give them to us, and he was at the main entrance. I had to run out, turn left, turn right, run down the aisle, turn left, turn right, go downstairs, go right, get our glasses, and then do it all in reverse. I got there right as the movie started, and hoped that no one would throw popcorn at me because I was breathing too loud. It's not worth dying for 3-D.

We watched the movie and it was really good. I had junior mints and an enormous Pibb Extra. I felt bad about all the oxygen I was using when Michael Oher's mom really needed it. The movie made me not want to be an astronaut, and then want to be an astronaut. But I wear both regular glasses and 3-D glasses, and I don't think you can wear those if you want to be an astronaut.

We drove home and on the way I pretended my car was a spacecraft. I docked successfully with the garage. Pretty good day all in all.

[Dayze]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Is it that obvious?

I'd make her wear one of those French maid dresses. A proper maid must wear a French maid dress.

.....well thats a given.....

[big nasty kcnut]

oh my god i met a woman who was so pretty and she was from the Ukraine she a maid i was like yeah come over to my house and pick up the clothes.

[Dayze]

Originally Posted by big nasty kcnut

oh my god i met a woman who was so pretty and she was from the Ukraine she a maid i was like yeah come over to my house and pick up the clothes.

in Soviet Russia, clothes pick up you

[Jimmya]

Ukraine. ... awesome!

[milkman]

I have no life.

After reading these novellas of daily life, I now know my no-life is no less boring, and it further strenghens my belief that each day is just another meaningless momemt in the inevitable march to death.

[cabletech94]

Originally Posted by milkman

I have no life.

After reading these novellas of daily life, I now know my no-life is no less boring, and it further strenghens my belief that each day is just another meaningless momemt in the inevitable march to MYdeath.

FYP

[Jimmya]

Marching towards death on a daily basis.

[Dayze]

Originally Posted by Douche Baggins

and the moral of the story boys and girls...is that life is shit

as Dennis Leary would say "Life Sucks, get a ****ing helmet"

[threebag]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

We drove home and on the way I pretended my car was a spacecraft. I docked successfully with the garage. Pretty good day all in all.

Coast or No Coast?

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by threebag02

Coast or No Coast?

funny you should ask. I coasted, & I think I would have made it but I lost my nerve at the last second. It look like I was going to clear the garage door by about an inch or two at most. my wife was in the car, and she has never seen me do it. I think she still thinks it's impossible even though I've done it twice in the past 12 years

[GordonGekko]

One does not simply

Run 11 miles.

Damn.

[patteeu]

I woke up quick at about noon. I realized that I had to be in Compton soon. I got up and started to get my stuff together, but first things are first so I downed a couple of stiff drinks so I could prepare for my old lady’s inevitable bitching about my friends.

I was just heading out the front door when I noticed some young black fellows out in the street throwing out gang signs. I decided to grab my Mac 10 and an extra clip before bailing outside. I pointed my weapon and just as I expected, those fools took off running. I jumped in my Ford, hit the gas, and peeled out.

As I picked up speed, I turned my Alpine on and let it play. I was pumping some old shit by NWA. Gangsta Gangsta, if I recall correctly.

On my way through town, I rolled by the park and spotted some knuckleheads out there, cold shootin’ some hoop. I decide to swing by the place my homeboys chill, downed a 40 and did some coke. Before I left, I hit the Bacardi and then headed over to my girl’s house.

Boy was that a mistake. Right after I got there, she said something that made me mad so I grabbed the stupid bitch by her nappy-ass weave, but she didn’t know when to stop so I reached back like a pimp and slapped the hoe. That’s when her dad got involved, which was a mistake on his part. When he stood up and started to shout, I threw a right cross and knocked his old ass out.

To make a long story short, I never did make it to Compton.

[Sully]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

It was a massive movie theater, and the movie with Michael Oher's mom was in the second-to-last theater, which meant going in, going left, going upstairs, going left again, turning right, walking down a long aisle, turning left again, and then one final right turn. As the previews were ending we realized that everyone else was putting on their 3-D glasses and we had none. The woman in the row ahead of us said that the ticket taker was supposed to give them to us, and he was at the main entrance. I had to run out, turn left, turn right, run down the aisle, turn left, turn right, go downstairs, go right, get our glasses, and then do it all in reverse.

It seems like you were in the same movie theatre featured in the great 80s film, "Bachelor Party."

[Chief Pote]

I swear that's a repost.

[rico]

Originally Posted by BigCatDaddy

Rico approved post.

Yup...sure is. Great post.

I have actually been thinking lately that I wish there were more threads like these...like, along with the "Official Random Thought" thread, have an official "I Have a Random Story" or "I'd Like to Chronicle My Day" thread, or an official "tl;dr" thread for you homeslices who like to clown on me and others for tl;dr'n around.