Home and Auto Our cat is murdering at an alarming rate - Page 5

lcarus · 08-30-2011, 10:24 AM

Seriously, this big ass white cat we have basically lives outside. Seems the body count is growing and growing. Squirrels, rabbits, birds, mice. There was a squirrel bigger than the cat, one of those big red ones, laying in our driveway missing its head. At first it was no big deal and normal. Pretty funny actually. Now everywhere I turn, there's a new dead animal somewhere on my property. I know cats like to kill..but jesus christ. This is getting out of hand.

**RealSNR** · 08-30-2011, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

I'm going to be on my deathbed in 30 years and ChiefsPlanet n00bs are still going to be cracking me about this.

And this time you can't deflect with narc jokes.

There will be no escape this time

**RealSNR** · 08-30-2011, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lcarus

Also, just wanted to add - my brother and I wanted to give our cat and my brothers wifes cat human names. The white murderous cat we named Bill and the other small female cat is named Beverly. So you can imagine what strangers thought when they overheard me telling my brother "Yeah you should have seen Bill today. He went apeshit on a bunny in the driveway and bit its head off. Then Beverly walked over and started licking the blood off the pavement."

If I ever become a standup comedian, I want to tell this joke that involves naming my pet dog/cat "Buttsex." So that way I can say stuff like, "I gave Buttsex to my neighbor when I was on vacation." Or "Kids love Buttsex."

lcarus · 08-30-2011, 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR

If I ever become a standup comedian, I want to tell this joke that involves naming my pet dog/cat "Buttsex." So that way I can say stuff like, "I gave Buttsex to my neighbor when I was on vacation." Or "Kids love Buttsex."

Lol, that's pretty good. You can add "I had to clean a giant hairball from Buttsex off the f***ing couch today."

**RealSNR** · 08-30-2011, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lcarus

Lol, that's pretty good. You can add "I had to clean a giant hairball from Buttsex off the f***ing couch today."

I bought Buttsex from a 16-year old pet shop employee

**cdcox** · 08-30-2011, 11:55 PM

My parent's have a cat that in its prime was extremely athletic. Very long and lanky. He'd hear a locust on the roof of the house and jump 8' straight from the deck to the roof and track it down. That was an appetizer. On to the main course. He could run down a rabbit in the yard in broad daylight with no cover. He'd then lay out in the yard and eat the whole thing except the organs. He won't back down from a fight either. Just an amazing specimen.

lcarus · 08-31-2011, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cdcox

My parent's have a cat that in its prime was extremely athletic. Very long and lanky. He'd hear a locust on the roof of the house and jump 8' straight from the deck to the roof and track it down. That was an appetizer. On to the main course. He could run down a rabbit in the yard in broad daylight with no cover. He'd then lay out in the yard and eat the whole thing except the organs. He won't back down from a fight either. Just an amazing specimen.

Yeah they are. I've always been a dog guy. Never really cared about cats at all. But with this guy, I'll admit it will be pretty sad for me if he ever gets run over by a FedEx truck or something.

**TimeForWasp** · 08-31-2011, 12:15 AM

Honey, remember to keep buttsex inside while I'm gone.

SDChiefs · 08-31-2011, 12:17 AM

Murdercat don't give a shit. Murdercat takes what he wants.

**CrazyPhuD** · 08-31-2011, 12:39 AM

So has he brought you breakfast yet?

Radar Chief · 08-31-2011, 07:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SDChiefs

Murdercat don't give a shit. Murdercat takes what he wants.

Amnorix · 08-31-2011, 07:36 AM

Yeah, cats....even alligators run from them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sAF8gMN9c0

Amnorix · 08-31-2011, 07:40 AM

Oh, and this one -- cat owns snake. Looks like a rattler to me, but I won't say for sure since I dont' know for sure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEZMc...ure=grec_index

Amnorix · 08-31-2011, 07:45 AM

Can someone remind me how to embed a *$%^# video? I know I click on the "share" thing on Youtube and copy the url that's there. And I copy that into here, but I'm clearly screwing something up over here. That's why I just posted links. Would be far better to embed, obviously.

*sigh*

Radar Chief · 08-31-2011, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amnorix

Can someone remind me how to embed a *$%^# video? I know I click on the "share" thing on Youtube and copy the url that's there. And I copy that into here, but I'm clearly screwing something up over here. That's why I just posted links. Would be far better to embed, obviously.

*sigh*

Look below the URL and there’s another button that says, “Embed”. Click on that and it gives you the embed link.

Amnorix · 08-31-2011, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Radar Chief

Look below the URL and there’s another button that says, “Embed”. Click on that and it gives you the embed link.

Got it. Thanks.

08-30-2011, 10:24 AM
lcarus Everybody Lies. Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: 22 Acacia Avenue Casino cash: $-2049887	Our cat is murdering at an alarming rate Seriously, this big ass white cat we have basically lives outside. Seems the body count is growing and growing. Squirrels, rabbits, birds, mice. There was a squirrel bigger than the cat, one of those big red ones, laying in our driveway missing its head. At first it was no big deal and normal. Pretty funny actually. Now everywhere I turn, there's a new dead animal somewhere on my property. I know cats like to kill..but jesus christ. This is getting out of hand.
Posts: 17,865

08-30-2011, 11:55 PM	#65
cdcox www.nfl-forecast.com Join Date: Sep 2000 Casino cash: $-648231	My parent's have a cat that in its prime was extremely athletic. Very long and lanky. He'd hear a locust on the roof of the house and jump 8' straight from the deck to the roof and track it down. That was an appetizer. On to the main course. He could run down a rabbit in the yard in broad daylight with no cover. He'd then lay out in the yard and eat the whole thing except the organs. He won't back down from a fight either. Just an amazing specimen.
Posts: 46,037

08-31-2011, 12:15 AM	#67
TimeForWasp Sprinkle in some Mahomes Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Butte Montana Casino cash: $7658507	Honey, remember to keep buttsex inside while I'm gone.
Posts: 8,271

08-31-2011, 12:17 AM	#68
SDChiefs Veteran Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Americas Finest City Casino cash: $7990778	Murdercat don't give a shit. Murdercat takes what he wants.
Posts: 2,321

08-31-2011, 12:39 AM	#69
CrazyPhuD Meow Join Date: Jun 2005 Casino cash: $10005050	So has he brought you breakfast yet? __________________ "Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t*rd by the clean end"
Posts: 8,523

08-31-2011, 07:36 AM	#71
Amnorix In BB I trust Join Date: May 2003 Location: Boston, Mass. Casino cash: $10029808	Yeah, cats....even alligators run from them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sAF8gMN9c0 __________________ "I love signature blocks on the Internet. I get to put whatever the hell I want in quotes, pick a pretend author, and bang, it's like he really said it." George Washington
Posts: 43,125

08-31-2011, 07:40 AM	#72
Amnorix In BB I trust Join Date: May 2003 Location: Boston, Mass. Casino cash: $10029808	Oh, and this one -- cat owns snake. Looks like a rattler to me, but I won't say for sure since I dont' know for sure. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEZMc...ure=grec_index __________________ "I love signature blocks on the Internet. I get to put whatever the hell I want in quotes, pick a pretend author, and bang, it's like he really said it." George Washington
Posts: 43,125

08-31-2011, 07:45 AM	#73
Amnorix In BB I trust Join Date: May 2003 Location: Boston, Mass. Casino cash: $10029808	Can someone remind me how to embed a $%^# video? I know I click on the "share" thing on Youtube and copy the url that's there. And I copy that into here, but I'm clearly screwing something up over here. That's why I just posted links. Would be far better to embed, obviously. sigh* __________________ "I love signature blocks on the Internet. I get to put whatever the hell I want in quotes, pick a pretend author, and bang, it's like he really said it." George Washington
Posts: 43,125