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Old 11-14-2014, 10:25 PM  
RealSNR RealSNR is offline
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LNBS: "Beast mode." **** you, Seattle
I realize this is my "DOLPHIN WEARING A FOOTBALL HELMET" moment because I've posted about this a couple times, but it deserves to be brought up again this week.

Seattle has a really unintelligent fan base. And I don't mean in terms of football. It's clear they're not deficient in that area. I mean in terms of intelligence and creativity. They have none of those two things.

They've got a pretty good RB who runs hard. Good for them. They want to give him a nickname. Skittles is funny. But no, they want something TOUGH-sounding. What would do the trick? Here's what they came up with:

Beast Mode.

Is that from a video game? No, that's God Mode, which is far cooler, but it wouldn't be as accessible religious people, I suppose. Or a movie or something? Is that like what the Incredible Hulk is? It's not, is it? You just thought that would be a good name for him. I get that Lynch was unstoppable in that 7-9 year where he raped the Saints. That doesn't give you an excuse come up with a shitty fan name for him and then force everybody else to use it, too.

Your stupid fan base couldn't **** that up any harder if they tried to come up with a scary name for their defense.

OH WAIT THEY DID. Legion of Boom?

Did you know that Houston Rockets fans had a name for Chandler Parsons? They called him Chandler Bang, like Chandler Bing from Friends. Why? Because, uh... Bang... he's really good at sports? Or something. Like you know... Bang! The sound you get from firing your gun in the air because Parsons just made a 3-point shot!

Legion of Boom is worse than that. It's dumber than that. It's almost as dumb as Beast Mode.

I just hired the same 8-year old that comes up with crap for your players to give Chiefs players some names. Here's what he came up with:

Alex Smith: Iron Man
Jamaal Charles: Speed Demon
Dontari Poe: Great Wall of Pain
Eric Berry: Really Really Good Football Player
The Chiefs Defense: Joint Chiefs of Boom

Go fist a cow, Seattle.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:45 PM   #61
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I'm fairly certain they dress up as birds when they get home and **** their wives. Something about thicker shells on their eggs if they glue feathers to themselves and flap their wings while doing doggy-style.
Well, that will satisfy Direckshun's furry fantasies.
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I have completely given up on Alex Smith as a qb. Its painful to watch. Like, worse than watching Colt McCoy.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:45 PM   #62
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The "LOB" was propagated by Seahawk fans. If you watched any Hawk games over the last 3 years you would have noticed that the defensive back, corners and safeties knocked the stuffing out of receivers and running backs. Brandon Browner was the instigator of this, Kam Chancellor was a close second. Google them and see for yourself. Watching Browner knock out recievers / running backs and SS KamBam knock out lineman was something to behold. Kam is now the enforcer but hasn't played to the same level because of offseason hip surgery, dude just isn't the same. The LOB WAS real the last couple of years, this year not so much. Guess that's what happens when most of the guys leave for greener pastures and the others get hurt.
KAMBAM
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:45 PM   #63
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Speaking of the Rockets. Wasn't there also a name for the Hakeem Olajuwon-Ralph Sampson duo for the Houston Rockets in the 80's? Ugh, what was that?
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Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.

http://facebook.com/thepindoctors
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:47 PM   #64
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Is it doggy style at that point? Winged style?
They make their wives dress up in dog costumes, so yes.

Some sick inter-species mating rituals these ****s have, but that's what happen when you make pot legal. People just lose their goddamned minds.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:47 PM   #65
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Speaking of the Rockets. Wasn't there also a name for the Hakeem Olajuwon-Ralph Sampson duo for the Houston Rockets in the 80's? Ugh, what was that?
Googled it.

The Twin Towers
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Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.

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Old 11-14-2014, 11:48 PM   #66
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Googled it.

The Twin Towers
BECAUSE THEYRE TALL LIKE THE BUILDINGS IN NEW YORK
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:49 PM   #67
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Dontari "The Hippo" Poe.
Holy ****. lol
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:50 PM   #68
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He's hungry for interior linemen; not marbles.

THIS HIPPO HAS PIZAZZ!!
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:51 PM   #69
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He's hungry for interior linemen; not marbles.

THIS HIPPO HAS PIZAZZ!!
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Originally Posted by Mavericks Ace View Post
I have completely given up on Alex Smith as a qb. Its painful to watch. Like, worse than watching Colt McCoy.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:52 PM   #70
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KAMBAM
UUUUGGGHH

I didn't see that the first time.

Jesus ****. That is fat talk right there. So gross.

Kambam.

Get out of me.
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I would read an entire blog of SNR breaking down athletes' musical capabilities like draft scouting reports.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:54 PM   #71
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The HippoPOEtamus is the animal responsible for the most human deaths each year.

It also marks its territory by defecating and spinning its tail, flinging poop chunks everywhere.
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I would read an entire blog of SNR breaking down athletes' musical capabilities like draft scouting reports.
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:54 PM   #72
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:55 PM   #73
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Old 11-14-2014, 11:55 PM   #74
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Russell Okung? More like Russel O-fwoom!

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Old 11-14-2014, 11:56 PM   #75
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Dave, I didn't know you were allowed to drive pussy-gettin', ass-whippin' V8 monster machines like the IROC in that pussy libbbrrulll state of yers!
Yea, it was just that back in 89 when I bought it. Since then I dumped way to much money in it, ran bottom 12's 15 years ago and it has been parked in my garage for the last 5 years without moving. Your obviously old enough to know what it is, but when was the last time you saw one that looks better than the day it rolled out of Van Nuys and can knock out low 12's to high 11's on street tires?

It currently has AFR 195 Eliminators, 350 CU SB, custom hydraulic roller around .620" lift and 270*s at .050 lift. Runs good for a non LSx engine. My hobby isn't some POS sitting in a trailer park. The fuel delivery is handled by and SLP T-Ram intake / fuel injected. I would guess the intake is worth more than your daily driver...
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