Hypothetical: Get reincarnated here.

[Rain Man]

Just for fun, I've been dividing the world up into regions, and just finished last night. I divided the world into 16,789 regions based on states, provinces, communities, islands, arrondissements, or whatever else happened to be handy.

I didn't know what to do with it, so I created a reincarnation simulator. Sign up here and learn about your next life in advance. I'll give you:

Gender: (Male or Female)
Intelligence: 1 to 100, with 100 as the top
Attractiveness: 1 to 100, with 100 as the top
Economic Status: 1 to 100, with 100 as the top
Nation of Future Birth
Region of Future Birth
Population of that Region (which is somewhat useless since the boundaries are generally manmade, but hey, I've got it)

All statuses are relative to the region that you're in, not the world. So if you draw a 50 on economic status and you're born in the Badghis regions of Afghanistan, that means that you're at the median status of Badghis residents.

Sign up below if you're interested in the early release of your next life. I'll do three reincarnations per day, with the goal that we can discuss and decide which of the three has the best future fate awaiting them. Feel free to post pictures, maps, or descriptions of the reincarnated person's life as you see it.

So sign up below and we'll do the first three today.


Methodology: All figures are random. The probability of being born into a particular region is based on the population of that region.

[Amnorix]

Originally Posted by MagicHef

Well. I think I certainly have the worst outlook of the three today.

The good news is that your below average looks might keep you from getting raped as often as you otherwise might.

[Amnorix]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I'm guessing that your nice income will land you in a nice neighborhood in Calgary, maybe something like this:

https://www.google.com/maps/@51.0170...8i6656!6m1!1e1

You'll have plenty of room since you won't be dating much.

I might need something more secluded. With my looks and above average wealth, I might be looking at some kind of monthly subscription plan with an Escort service...

[Amnorix]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

The regions are indeed weighted by population. The other simulations are done just on a pure random basis, so you'd need to figure out the median for each region. I'm guessing that future MagicHef's lower middle class in central India is a long way from future Amnorix's upper middle class in western Canada.

So I want you all to know that if any of you turn out to be smoking hot chicks located in some awful country -- there is a standing offer of marriage (pre-nup required) from a well-to-do, intelligent, pleasant, funny, but rather ugly fellow residing in lovely western Canada.

Mail order bride your way out of hell and come to Calgary.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Amnorix

So I want you all to know that if any of you turn out to be smoking hot chicks located in some awful country -- there is a standing offer of marriage (pre-nup required) from a well-to-do, intelligent, pleasant, funny, but rather ugly fellow residing in lovely western Canada.

Mail order bride your way out of hell and come to Calgary.

Just hope they don't ask for a photo.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by wazu

Please sign me up. Gonna do everything different this time.

As the first of today's three reincarnations, we have wazu.

Gender Female
Intelligence 36
Appearance 64
Wealth 54
Nation Yemen
Region Al Hudaydah
Population 2,300,179

He'll come back as a pretty good looking if slightly dim middle class woman in western Yemen. Hey, good luck with that.

I doubt that your middle class income will give you waterfront property, but it seems like one of the better cities in Yemen. You know, if that helps.

[DJ's left nut]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

As the first of today's three reincarnations, we have wazu.

Gender Female
Intelligence 36
Appearance 64
Wealth 54
Nation Yemen
Region Al Hudaydah
Population 2,300,179

He'll come back as a pretty good looking if slightly dim middle class woman in western Yemen. Hey, good luck with that.

I may need to backtrack on my 'great boobs' request.

I kinda realize now that I'm pretty sure women in 3/4 of the world get raped a lot.

Or at least I sure think Wazu is gonna get raped a lot.

[wazu]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

As the first of today's three reincarnations, we have wazu.

Gender Female
Intelligence 36
Appearance 64
Wealth 54
Nation Yemen
Region Al Hudaydah
Population 2,300,179

He'll come back as a pretty good looking if slightly dim middle class woman in western Yemen. Hey, good luck with that.

I doubt that your middle class income will give you waterfront property, but it seems like one of the better cities in Yemen. You know, if that helps.

Feeling a wave of appreciation for my current life, now. Thanks!

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Pestilence

Kill me and bring me back to life.

Pestilence is next, and comes into the world as a well-connected if otherwise dull male deep inland in China.

Gender Male
Intelligence 33
Appearance 46
Wealth 85
Nation China
Region Dazhou
Population 6,156,954

At your income, you might have waterfront property. It's got some weaknesses, but still better than most in the area.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by BWillie

Do me do me

BWillie is our third reincarnation of the day. We roll the dice and he enters the world as a working stiff in Queens whose strong talent is held back by his morbid obesity.

Gender Male
Intelligence 88
Appearance 22
Wealth 62
Nation United States
Region NY - Queens
Population 2,230,722

You can likely afford a single-family home in Queens in about this range. Plus, you're convenient to the city to go to shows.

[Rain Man]

I think bwillie may be the winner today with his humdrum existence. Pestilence has some money so he's probably reasonably okay, and wazu probably can't leave the house so we'll never know about him.

[The Franchise]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Pestilence is next, and comes into the world as a well-connected if otherwise dull male deep inland in China.

Gender Male
Intelligence 33
Appearance 46
Wealth 85
Nation China
Region Dazhou
Population 6,156,954

At your income, you might have waterfront property. It's got some weaknesses, but still better than most in the area.

Can I use that money to move to America?

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Wazu will be passed around her own family, then the one she's ransomed off too for 3 goats, 6 chickens, and a pound of copper wire.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Originally Posted by Pestilence

Can I use that money to move to America?

You're high enough up the food chain you probably could.

[Pointer19]

Originally Posted by Pointer19

Me! :P

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Pestilence

Can I use that money to move to America?

It's hard to find numbers, but I'm going to guess that your income is probably about $4,000 a year. So you might want to remain a big fish in your pond.