Life Hypothetical: A New Homestead Act - Page 6

**Rain Man** · 02:23 PM

Assume that the U.S. government starts a new Homestead Act in a foreign territory that is experiencing a void of power. The government formally makes the place a territory a la Puerto Rico or Guam, so there'll likely be a long-term American presence there.

With a goal of cementing American power in the region, the government offers homesteads to Americans such as yourself. The following conditions exist:

1. You will get an area large enough to support yourself via farming, with some income crops to let you acquire basic things you can't make yourself. Let's call it 640 acres.

2. You will get basic farming equipment to accomplish the above. It's not fully automated, but you're not out there with an oxen team. It's hard work, but not hardscrabble. You will receive some initial farming training if you need it, and a homestead extension officer will visit once a month to advise you as needed.

3. The government will provide a shipping container home for your use, along with four outbuildings along the same lines for equipment, storage, chickens, etc. You'll have to assemble everything.

4. You will get enough livestock to be self-sufficient per the above, and a seed stock and other stuff that you need to get started.

5. There are some native folks who are not happy at all about you being given their land. You don't really like their culture, and they don't like yours. They've been herded onto a territory a day's drive from your farm, but are mobile. They aren't violent, but they don't mind a fight at all and aren't above the occasional raid on one or two farms per year. However, the army will be running patrols that will include a welfare check on your property once per week.

6. There are enough Americans doing this that your farm will be surrounded by other farms of similar size. There will be 1,000 or so farms in your area.

7. There will be a town with a general store approximately one day's drive from your farm. It will have one cafe and a small hotel, and a small health clinic. The nearest big city with a hospital, college, movie theater, Long John Silver's, etc., is a four-day drive.

8. This area is isolated and a long way from the U.S. It'll cost you at least $10,000 to make a trip to the U.S., so you're not going to go back regularly at all.

9. You're on your own for schooling and child-raising and anything social.

10. You'll have solar power, access to a good well, and free satellite wifi.

11. You will own the land as long as you reside on the land. You can't get the land and then move back to the U.S. and lease it to the angry locals or some such thing. No loopholes.

Do you homestead, or do you keep your life the way it is now?

**DaneMcCloud** · 08-21-2013, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clayton Bibsby

I'm a suburban wimp. I couldn't farm to save my life.

And since you're incapable of luring a women into your bedroom and creating offspring (although they probably couldn't figure out how to breathe), you'd likely die alone in the middle of 640 acres with your pants down around your ankles.

Pablo · 08-21-2013, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud

And since you're incapable of luring a women into your bedroom and creating offspring (although they probably couldn't figure out how to breathe), you'd likely die alone in the middle of 640 acres with your pants down around your ankles.

So I take it you two have met before and aren't fond of one another?

**DaneMcCloud** · 08-21-2013, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pablo

So I take it you two have met before and aren't fond of one another?

No. Good God, no.

He's a moron. And a virgin.

He's like the skinny GoChiefs circa 2002.

Sofa King · 08-21-2013, 10:10 PM

Hookers available? Or sluts? sluts would be good.

**CrazyPhuD** · 08-22-2013, 02:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud

And since you're incapable of luring a women into your bedroom and creating offspring (although they probably couldn't figure out how to breathe), you'd likely die alone in the middle of 640 acres with your pants down around your ankles.

You don't think people like that will create sheep-man hybrids to do the farm work for them???

Chief Roundup · 08-22-2013, 06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrazyPhuD

I'd do it if it was on Mars or France.

**** the french. Worthless bastards anyway.

oldandslow · 08-22-2013, 06:58 AM

Kind of the way I live now....

**Fire Me Boy!** · 08-22-2013, 07:31 AM

What are the climate and seasonal changes like?

**Rain Man** · 08-22-2013, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sofa King

Hookers available? Or sluts? sluts would be good.

It is likely that there will be a slut or two in the town that's a day's drive away, and of course you never know about your neighbors.

**Rain Man** · 08-22-2013, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!

What are the climate and seasonal changes like?

Assume the equivalent of Nebraska or Iowa. Hot summers for growing, cold winters for repairing equipment.

**Rain Man** · 08-22-2013, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oldandslow

Kind of the way I live now....

So you're in?

**Bugeater** · 08-22-2013, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Assume the equivalent of Nebraska or Iowa. Hot summers for growing, cold winters for repairing equipment.

Why would I leave what I already have for the same shit weather?

MOhillbilly · 08-22-2013, 07:47 PM

Most of you mothers ****ers live stock would wander off or get eatin. Your cows would hold up and get mastitis and without pesticides or knowledge of food storage you'd starve.

One of the up sides is that with free wifi you could blog about your slow death.

MOhillbilly · 08-22-2013, 07:50 PM

When another homesteader shits out do you divy up his property?

**Rain Man** · 08-22-2013, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bugeater

Why would I leave what I already have for the same shit weather?

640 acres and no mortgage. Plus they have very pretty sunsets.

View Poll Results: Do you homestead or stay?
Homestead. That sounds like a pretty good life.	15	30.61%
Stay. I don't need the 640 acres and the peace and quiet that bad.	31	63.27%
I can't answer until I learn more about our local football franchise.	3	6.12%
Voters: 49. You may not vote on this poll

08-21-2013, 02:14 PM
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-672449 VARSITY	Hypothetical: A New Homestead Act Assume that the U.S. government starts a new Homestead Act in a foreign territory that is experiencing a void of power. The government formally makes the place a territory a la Puerto Rico or Guam, so there'll likely be a long-term American presence there. With a goal of cementing American power in the region, the government offers homesteads to Americans such as yourself. The following conditions exist: 1. You will get an area large enough to support yourself via farming, with some income crops to let you acquire basic things you can't make yourself. Let's call it 640 acres. 2. You will get basic farming equipment to accomplish the above. It's not fully automated, but you're not out there with an oxen team. It's hard work, but not hardscrabble. You will receive some initial farming training if you need it, and a homestead extension officer will visit once a month to advise you as needed. 3. The government will provide a shipping container home for your use, along with four outbuildings along the same lines for equipment, storage, chickens, etc. You'll have to assemble everything. 4. You will get enough livestock to be self-sufficient per the above, and a seed stock and other stuff that you need to get started. 5. There are some native folks who are not happy at all about you being given their land. You don't really like their culture, and they don't like yours. They've been herded onto a territory a day's drive from your farm, but are mobile. They aren't violent, but they don't mind a fight at all and aren't above the occasional raid on one or two farms per year. However, the army will be running patrols that will include a welfare check on your property once per week. 6. There are enough Americans doing this that your farm will be surrounded by other farms of similar size. There will be 1,000 or so farms in your area. 7. There will be a town with a general store approximately one day's drive from your farm. It will have one cafe and a small hotel, and a small health clinic. The nearest big city with a hospital, college, movie theater, Long John Silver's, etc., is a four-day drive. 8. This area is isolated and a long way from the U.S. It'll cost you at least $10,000 to make a trip to the U.S., so you're not going to go back regularly at all. 9. You're on your own for schooling and child-raising and anything social. 10. You'll have solar power, access to a good well, and free satellite wifi. 11. You will own the land as long as you reside on the land. You can't get the land and then move back to the U.S. and lease it to the angry locals or some such thing. No loopholes. Do you homestead, or do you keep your life the way it is now? Last edited by Rain Man; 08-21-2013 at 02:23 PM..
Posts: 145,500

08-21-2013, 10:10 PM	#79
Sofa King Bump it Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: South Dakota Casino cash: $-380000 VARSITY	Hookers available? Or sluts? sluts would be good.
Posts: 23,465

08-22-2013, 06:58 AM	#82
oldandslow Veteran Join Date: Apr 2004 Casino cash: $3743149	Kind of the way I live now....
Posts: 4,621

08-22-2013, 07:31 AM	#83
Fire Me Boy! Cast Iron Jedi Join Date: Nov 2004 Casino cash: $9999900 VARSITY	What are the climate and seasonal changes like?
Posts: 35,253

08-22-2013, 07:47 PM	#88
MOhillbilly Mama Tried Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Missouri Casino cash: $9949903	Most of you mothers ****ers live stock would wander off or get eatin. Your cows would hold up and get mastitis and without pesticides or knowledge of food storage you'd starve. One of the up sides is that with free wifi you could blog about your slow death. __________________ True Son of Liberty
Posts: 23,371

08-22-2013, 07:50 PM	#89
MOhillbilly Mama Tried Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Missouri Casino cash: $9949903	When another homesteader shits out do you divy up his property? __________________ True Son of Liberty
Posts: 23,371