Life Forgiveness - Page 6

MOhillbilly · 08-28-2013, 07:37 AM

Are you a forgiving person by nature or do you have to work at letting shit go?

I don't think I've ever let anything go in my life and tbh I can feel it dragging me down.
Now that I have a Kid of my own and three step kids I dont wanna transfer my tendencies of anger and vengeance to the little ones.

At one point this was what I considered a strength but now that I've settled into domestic bliss its become a weakness.

Give me some wisdom fellas.

**Rausch** · 08-28-2013, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

Makes you entertaining at parties and family gatherings.

Not so much...

Frazod · 08-28-2013, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rausch

Not so much...

Our ideas of entertainment might be different.

**Rausch** · 08-28-2013, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

Our ideas of entertainment might be different.

I'd say that's a given...

kcxiv · 08-28-2013, 01:54 PM

Easy for me to forgive. The forget part that's tough at times, I live by the rule that I hate no one. It takes to much energy to hate.

I refuse to be that old grumpy guy that was an ass when I was a kid. **** that .

Sweet Daddy Hate · 08-28-2013, 01:57 PM

I reserve all of my hating for the Chiefs and the fine patrons of Chiefs Planet.

Works like a charm.

**kysirsoze** · 08-28-2013, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MTG#10

For everyone that says they are forgiving and you have to be to be happy etc. - do you forgive people that aren't sorry for whatever they've done?

Yes. Forgiveness isn't about them. It's about you. Holding on to the anger lets them hurt you twice. Not worth it.

Lightrise · 08-28-2013, 02:10 PM

Your question reflects wisdom so that is a good place to begin. One of the other posters said something to the effect that there will be people in your life where you never get the chance for forgiveness to take root. I have found this to be very true and there is a long term affect that nobody grasps until you find yourself in the abyss of it. That is that later in life you will fully appreciate the wisdom in quick forgiveness, but you struggle with that lost sense of justice when forgiveness doesn't hold. That is so hard to accept and while subtle, it will change you over time. You get to the point where you focus so much on the pain internally (of injustice) that it prevents you from realizing the full potential of blessings at your feet. My advice to you is to understand that it is ok to align rebuke with giving forgiveness. While Jesus said to turn the other cheek, he didn't say to turn the other cheek so it could be hit too. My minister told me that and it was a tremendous help. A person can become trapped by obedience to their faith, which is why the faith walk has to be continuous. I think the trick here to depending on the promise of forgiveness is to harness the manner in which you tie rebuke to it. That is where you want to focus. Learn to see far below the surface of the wrong, like Superman looking through a wall. You'll realize that having to forgive is not really a cost, it is an opportunity. It's an opportunity to relieve a tremendous burden from another, and even to deliver an effect rebuke that changes not only the dynamic, but lives.

So if I were you I would accept your own struggle with the issue, be on guard for when that lost sense of justice begins to irritate you, and set out to teach your kids how rebuke and forgiveness together solve the problem.

There is no God of Justice anymore. He was replaced by the God of Love.

**Dartgod** · 08-28-2013, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightrise

Your question reflects wisdom so that is a good place to begin. One of the other posters said something to the effect that there will be people in your life where you never get the chance for forgiveness to take root. I have found this to be very true and there is a long term affect that nobody grasps until you find yourself in the abyss of it. That is that later in life you will fully appreciate the wisdom in quick forgiveness, but you struggle with that lost sense of justice when forgiveness doesn't hold. That is so hard to accept and while subtle, it will change you over time. You get to the point where you focus so much on the pain internally (of injustice) that it prevents you from realizing the full potential of blessings at your feet. My advice to you is to understand that it is ok to align rebuke with giving forgiveness. While Jesus said to turn the other cheek, he didn't say to turn the other cheek so it could be hit too. My minister told me that and it was a tremendous help. A person can become trapped by obedience to their faith, which is why the faith walk has to be continuous. I think the trick here to depending on the promise of forgiveness is to harness the manner in which you tie rebuke to it. That is where you want to focus. Learn to see far below the surface of the wrong, like Superman looking through a wall. You'll realize that having to forgive is not really a cost, it is an opportunity. It's an opportunity to relieve a tremendous burden from another, and even to deliver an effect rebuke that changes not only the dynamic, but lives.

So if I were you I would accept your own struggle with the issue, be on guard for when that lost sense of justice begins to irritate you, and set out to teach your kids how rebuke and forgiveness together solve the problem.

There is no God of Justice anymore. He was replaced by the God of Love.

I forgive you for writing such a long-winded post.

trndobrd · 08-28-2013, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by listopencil

But when I say "forgive" I mean that you are prepared to continue on with your life behaving as if the event never happened. You can still absorb life lessons from the event but you have to treat the person as if they never did you wrong, and do so willingly without rancor. If you can't do that then you shouldn't try to live as if you've forgiven someone because you haven't.

"Forgive" does not equal "Forget".

Forgiveness does not mean allowing, abusive spouses, drug addicts, manipulators, bullies, violent people, users, gossips, drama kings/queens, and other toxic people, to remain in your life, or "treat the person as if they never did you wrong."

Forgiveness means relieving yourself of the hatred and anger that goes along with being hurt. Sometimes it means understanding that the person made a mistake, and being OK with it. Other times, it means recognizing the person as they are, and understanding that you can neither change them nor have them in your life.

I can forgive someone after they borrowed my car, got drunk and wrecked it. Letting the same person borrow my truck isn't forgiveness, it's stupid.

**Mav** · 08-28-2013, 02:29 PM

I forgive, and forget pretty easily.

Yeah, I get mad, but if someone is willing to take steps towards moving away from stupid stuff, I will meet them half way, and often times try to be the bigger man about things.

**Rausch** · 08-28-2013, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mavericks Ace

I forgive, and forget pretty easily.

Yeah, I get mad, but if someone is willing to take steps towards moving away from stupid stuff, I will meet them half way, and often times try to be the bigger man about things.

This makes me angry...

**Mav** · 08-28-2013, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rausch

This makes me angry...

Forgive me?

**Rausch** · 08-28-2013, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mavericks Ace

Forgive me?

Buy me a beer?...

**Mav** · 08-28-2013, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rausch

Buy me a beer?...

Deal....

**Rausch** · 08-28-2013, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mavericks Ace

Deal....

Sir, you drive a hard bargain.

Deal...

08-28-2013, 07:37 AM
MOhillbilly Mama Tried Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Missouri Casino cash: $9949903	Forgiveness Are you a forgiving person by nature or do you have to work at letting shit go? I don't think I've ever let anything go in my life and tbh I can feel it dragging me down. Now that I have a Kid of my own and three step kids I dont wanna transfer my tendencies of anger and vengeance to the little ones. At one point this was what I considered a strength but now that I've settled into domestic bliss its become a weakness. Give me some wisdom fellas.
Posts: 23,371

08-28-2013, 01:54 PM	#79
kcxiv In Search of a Life Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Central Valley, Cali Casino cash: $8807996	Easy for me to forgive. The forget part that's tough at times, I live by the rule that I hate no one. It takes to much energy to hate. I refuse to be that old grumpy guy that was an ass when I was a kid. **** that .
Posts: 29,110

08-28-2013, 01:57 PM	#80
Sweet Daddy Hate Unsparing Join Date: Aug 2008 Casino cash: $10004900	I reserve all of my hating for the Chiefs and the fine patrons of Chiefs Planet. Works like a charm. __________________ 1. Merciless, severe. 2. Given freely and generously. 100% refusal to overrate 20 year Head Coaches with ZERO **ing rings as a Head Coach. CP's Official Professor of 'Dem Blues for 2019/2020!**
Posts: 77,135

08-28-2013, 02:10 PM	#82
Lightrise Starter Join Date: Dec 2011 Casino cash: $10005085	Your question reflects wisdom so that is a good place to begin. One of the other posters said something to the effect that there will be people in your life where you never get the chance for forgiveness to take root. I have found this to be very true and there is a long term affect that nobody grasps until you find yourself in the abyss of it. That is that later in life you will fully appreciate the wisdom in quick forgiveness, but you struggle with that lost sense of justice when forgiveness doesn't hold. That is so hard to accept and while subtle, it will change you over time. You get to the point where you focus so much on the pain internally (of injustice) that it prevents you from realizing the full potential of blessings at your feet. My advice to you is to understand that it is ok to align rebuke with giving forgiveness. While Jesus said to turn the other cheek, he didn't say to turn the other cheek so it could be hit too. My minister told me that and it was a tremendous help. A person can become trapped by obedience to their faith, which is why the faith walk has to be continuous. I think the trick here to depending on the promise of forgiveness is to harness the manner in which you tie rebuke to it. That is where you want to focus. Learn to see far below the surface of the wrong, like Superman looking through a wall. You'll realize that having to forgive is not really a cost, it is an opportunity. It's an opportunity to relieve a tremendous burden from another, and even to deliver an effect rebuke that changes not only the dynamic, but lives. So if I were you I would accept your own struggle with the issue, be on guard for when that lost sense of justice begins to irritate you, and set out to teach your kids how rebuke and forgiveness together solve the problem. There is no God of Justice anymore. He was replaced by the God of Love.
Posts: 774

08-28-2013, 02:29 PM	#85
Mav XBOX GT MAVS ACE Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Wisconsin Casino cash: $10019303	I forgive, and forget pretty easily. Yeah, I get mad, but if someone is willing to take steps towards moving away from stupid stuff, I will meet them half way, and often times try to be the bigger man about things. __________________ Resident Browns fan I’m not here to argue about Alex Smith. Fastest Ignore user on CP
Posts: 18,683