Saying "Goodbye" to my old man

[duncan_idaho]

My dad passed away this week. He was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer earlier this year, and had been going through chemo.

I think the family had been lulled a little into a false sense of security, of time, because he had been tolerating the chemo so well. The doctors had found a concoction they thought his heart and liver (the two most vulnerable organs he had) could work through.

I don't know if it was complications from the chemo, but his heart gave out earlier this week.

Now, I'm not writing this as a look-at-me or cry for sympathy. I'm doing this because when I think about my dad, I think about the Chiefs, and watching games with him. He's the reason I care so much. There's another reason, too, but I'll talk about it at the end.

I am so, so thankful my dad and I got to see the past five years of the Chiefs together. That he got to see them get back to the top of the mountain this year.

He was always a more even-keel, optimistic fan than me. He endured the succession of washed up QBs with eternal optimism and belief that they could turn it around in KC, just like Lenny did.

I used to sarcastically thank him for raising me as a Royals/Chiefs/Mizzou fan, but damn if that didn't make 2014, 2015, and 2018-now all the sweeter. Now I thank him in earnest.

I'm so thankful he got to see that run end (and return the good-natured digs to his fraternity brother from Colorado, who never stopped reminding Dad about the 1983 draft).

We'll put him to rest tomorrow. Going to be a hard day, no doubt about it. But I'm confident that when I watch the Chiefs, it's going to bring the good things out. When I talk about them on here, it's going to bring the good things out.

Now, that other thing I mentioned at the top; if you're wondering if there's anything you can do, what I'd really like is for you to commit to taking care of yourselves. Go to the doctor. And please, please, please get your colonoscopies. My dad's cancer started as colon cancer before spreading. He never had a colonoscopy, and I can't help but think if he just HAD, he'd still be here. We would have caught it early enough and stopped it.

And I wouldn't be standing in his place at my sister's wedding next spring. I wouldn't be giving the speech, I'd be helping him write it.

If you've read all of this, thanks for letting me ramble. Sometimes, getting the words out is the best thing for this.

Go to your check-ups. Get the colonoscopy.

[duncan_idaho]

Today would have been my dad's 65th birthday. Hitting pretty hard.

Get your screenings and go to your doctors, guys.

Squeeze your balls in the shower.

Get your colonoscopies.

Check out weird moles.

Do your normal check-ups.

All the things.

[TEX]

Sorry to hear that man. Lost my dad a while ago. Its tough. One day you'll catch yourself acting like your father, and you'll smile. And you'll understand, on a different level, that your dad did a good job.

[ShortRoundChief]

Sorry about your loss. Shit sucks.

[C-Mac]

This was also the first Chiefs football season ever to be without my father, who passed last June. I do miss him often as it comes in waves, but especially when watching Chiefs.
I remember traveling in 1969 with my dad to far southern regions of Kansas just to reach past the local blackout. There in an old farmhouse crowded with some equally passionate fans, we would watch the Chiefs on a old 19" snowy B&W TV.
Oh the memories, all thanks to having such great dad's.

[tx4chiefs]

Sorry for your loss!

[Spott]

My Dad passed away right after Thanksgiving, about 2 weeks after I separated from my soon to be ex-wife. He was a hard 80 with a lot of drinking, smoking, etc. so it wasn’t a surprise when he passed away. I haven’t had much time to process it with all the other bs going on in my life right now, but it really didn’t start to hit me until Christmas when I couldn’t call and talk to him. I haven’t gotten the nerve up yet to listen to all the old voicemails that are still on my phone. It sucks to not have either parent around, but life goes on I guess.

[ShortRoundChief]

Originally Posted by Spott

My Dad passed away right after Thanksgiving, about 2 weeks after I separated from my soon to be ex-wife. He was a hard 80 with a lot of drinking, smoking, etc. so it wasn’t a surprise when he passed away. I haven’t had much time to process it with all the other bs going on in my life right now, but it really didn’t start to hit me until Christmas when I couldn’t call and talk to him. I haven’t gotten the nerve up yet to listen to all the old voicemails that are still on my phone. It sucks to not have either parent around, but life goes on I guess.

My mother passed away when I was 17. My father is currently hanging on with stage 4 COPD. Heavy smoker all his life.

As bad as it sucks, it's a son/daughter's job to bury their parents. That's what I hold onto. I don't think I realized that until I had children.

[Mosbonian]

Originally Posted by C-Mac

This was also the first Chiefs football season ever to be without my father, who passed last June. I do miss him often as it comes in waves, but especially when watching Chiefs.
I remember traveling in 1969 with my dad to far southern regions of Kansas just to reach past the local blackout. There in an old farmhouse crowded with some equally passionate fans, we would watch the Chiefs on a old 19" snowy B&W TV.
Oh the memories, all thanks to having such great dad's.

My dad has been gone since August 2011....our last discussions were about the Chiefs....

The waves will still come....but some of them make you smile, remembering how, just like I do now with my son and daughter, I yell at Andy....and Patrick...and all our receiving corp.

Like mentioned earlier, many of us get our passion for the Chiefs from our Fathers....and I sorely miss watching games with him.

[BWillie]

Originally Posted by duncan_idaho

Today would have been my dad's 65th birthday. Hitting pretty hard.

Get your screenings and go to your doctors, guys.

Squeeze your balls in the shower.

Get your colonoscopies.

Check out weird moles.

Do your normal check-ups.

All the things.

We also have a long way to go in this country as well to streamline cancer screenings. In many cases you have to go to 3 or 4 appointments to finally be able to get to where you need to be. It should be easier for people to get looked at and also more encouraged to get regularly screened.

[Oxford]

Never got to say goodbye to mine, still hear him in my mind and in my heart. Peace to you digital friend

[VAChief]

So sorry for your loss. Cancer sucks for sure.

[REDHOTGTO]

i know the pain my freind, lost my dad 2 yrs ago, he was 97 and lived a great life, he too raised me up going to the chiefs and royals games a lot. take care it gets easier with time, but i keep little stuff around to keep me thinking of him, i reccomend that , it helps a lot.
take care

[BigOlChiefsfan]

Sorry for your loss. I sure do miss my old slap happy pappy, best guy I ever knew.

[JPH83]

Hi Duncan, my dad passed away on Jan 12th, we had his funeral last week.

It was an odd one as he wasn't around from the age of 10. He worked in oil and gas all over the world and for about 20 years I barely saw him, aside from a couple of killer holidays visiting him in Brazil and the like.

It was weird putting together his funeral service. There were loads of messages from old colleagues saying how great craic he was etc etc and I just thought - well, damn, I'm glad he had fun, but I don't know this guy much at all. There were photos of him I'd never seen, and family ones stopped when we were young.

He came back to live in the UK about 10 years ago from California and pretty much hated it. Covid, divorce from his 2nd wife, boozing all put him down a path. My sister and I tried to intervene but he wouldn't listen. Or at least wouldn't act.

I think he had a pretty good life, but he died way too young (73, his dad lived into his mid-90s). My friends asked me if his dying had made me re-think anything. My only thought, which I've thought for awhile, was that you can live your life without responsibility and kinda selfishly, but you will always pay a price in the end. My mum grinded and now has a great retirement, loads of friends, active etc. My dad didn't and he died sad and lonely, I think.

I feel a lot of things. Guilt for maybe not being a better son, anger, sheer incredulity at his ****wittery at times, obviously sad we never had the relationship we might. It comes in waves. I read a story at his funeral and my sister read a poem, I think we did him justice.

One nice thing was he was a runner. Got polio age 5 and almost died, tried running to build up his strength, found out he was pretty good, apparently. Won loads of cups etc. We found his old athletics club and wanted to know if there were any pics. There weren't, but he still holds the Under-17s records in the 600 and 800ms...from 1969. So, 55 years, think he ran 1.54.7 age 16 or something. Kind of a cool legacy that he's disappointed 55 years' worth of aspiring young local runners who never beat his records!

Anyway, sorry to all for rambling, I hope you're doing OK Duncan.

[Buehler445]

Condolences, boys. If there's one thing this thread drives home is the importance of a father in childs lives. I spent yesterday harassing my kids and having fun with them because I don't do it enough.