FAX And The Lonely Australian Girl

[FAX]

At 1:00 pm, this upcoming Sunday, I am attending a gathering of the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX's entire family. In and of itself, this is not particularly unusual. It is a close family and we get together fairly often for dinners and lunches and the occasional weekend crazy blowout featuring water skiing, martinis, and live bluegrass music. However, the reason for this weekend's event is somewhat unusual.

One of my brothers-in-law has been communicating via the internet thing with a girl from Australia. Apparently, they have texted or whatever they have done with each other and exchanged photographs. Now, this girl is flying to the United States of America in order to spend "time" with the brother-in-law and he is throwing a party for the purpose of introducing this person to his family.

I need some help. First off, I don't know a whole heck of a lot about Australia. I googled up some stuff then brushed my teeth and did an internet search. What I found is that it is a country on the other side of the Earth with kangaroos and strange indigenous persons who (in antiquity) used long spears to kill lizards and protect their cave paintings from aliens.

Second off, this party has every potential to be extremely awkward and I am taking it upon myself to do whatever is necessary (within reason, of course) to make this Australian person feel comfortable so that her relationship with my brother-in-law will flourish. Or, failing that, at least avoid the possibility that she run screaming into the streets.

Any ideas as to how to best impress a girl from Australia who has flown thousands of miles in pursuit of love? All contributions would be appreciated.

FAX THE SOMEWHAT CONCERNED

Disclaimers: Sorry if repost.

[shitgoose]

Originally Posted by FAX

Yes, Mr. shitgoose. To my knowledge, this is her first visit to our country.

That, of course, is why it's so vitally important that our family make a positive impression. We will be representing all Americans and all that our country stands for.

Were you in this situation, I'm quite certain that the entire shitgoose family would feel the same way.

FAX

The Shitgoose family certainly knows how to welcome people. When my uncle Pete first introduced us to his future wife (and ex wife although not known at the time) she was coming to the States for the second time from Japan. We made her feel welcome by feeding her some excellent BBQ, getting hammered drunk, and telling her everything she didn't know about Uncle Pete.

On second thought that is probably why she is no longer my aunt.

Not really, uncle Pete was actually quite the philander. She seemed to enjoy spending time with the whole Shitgoose family. She was an excellent swimming pool volleyball player by the way. And smoking hot.

[acesn8s]

Try not to laugh at her too much if she starts to get excited about a men at work sign.

[salame]

Mr. Fax
should this party go astray I think you need to have a good cry prepared to alleviate any awkwardness away form the Aussie girl. You know be a gentleman and take one for the team..........no the whole country.
I think something like this would stray any ill feelings away from her