Science I discovered tonight that my family name is a lie. - Page 7

Hammock Parties · 08-14-2019, 09:11 PM

A fellow Chiefs fan who started following me on twitter long ago and I have the same last name. There are lots of Wendlers, though. Jim Wendler is a famous powerlifter, his fame surpassing even mine. So I thought it was just a fun coincidence, mostly.

Until tonight.

For whatever reason I got curious when I saw my fellow Wendler tweeting tonight, looked at his profile, and noticed he lives in Springfield, MO. This is not far from where my grandfather was born (Freistatt, MO) and lived.

So I asked my dad if grandpa had any brothers.

Turns out he did have a brother...and several half brothers.

So I messaged this dude and asked him about family history, and he says his dad's family is from Stotts City, MO and Mt Vernon, MO....which is eerily close to where my grandpa was not only born (see above), but lived for decades (Monett, MO).

Turns out this dude had a FAMILY TREE all printed out just laying in his desk, and he starts sending me photos. My grandfather actually isn't on it, BUT someone with the SAME MIDDLE NAME AS ME is.

Freistatt and Monett are all over this tree. This has to be the same family.

I send the photo to my dad, who immediately identifies his own grandfather by his first name. Then he reveals his dad (my grandpa) had a falling out with my great grandfather and they were estranged for decades, never reconciling, my grandpa even refusing to go to his funeral.

This is because my great grandfather was a douchebag who divorced my great grandmother for a younger woman during the depression, resulting in her basically working herself to death. Which, presumably, is why my grandpa isn't on the family tree.

THEN this dude sends me ANOTHER photo of the tree dating back five generations to Germany. It shows the origin of my family name.

When someone named Wendler married someone named Christianshatz.

Only thing is...the Wendler is female.

Apparently, Henry Christianshatz was so ashamed of his last name, when he married Anna Wendler, he decided to take her name.

So, by all rights....my Wendler family name should not exist.

Furthermore, my great grandfather was a douchebag, further casting shame upon the name. But the odds are I'm not reproducing anyway, meaning the family name dies with me. But it should already be dead, if you examine all the evidence.

So you can call me Clay Christianshatz from now on.

It's pronounced Christian-SHITS. Which...in many ways...is the perfect last name for me.

Hey, at least it's legit.

Hammock Parties · 08-15-2019, 10:11 AM

Sharon Shiiteshite!

burt · 08-15-2019, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

There are lots of Wendlers, though. Jim Wendler is a famous powerlifter, his fame surpassing even mine.

The Planet has truly lost it's burst when Claynus can actually get away with this delusion of grandeur for so many pages without any one saying a word!!!

"Fame surpassing even mine"

You've gotta be ****ing kidding me!!! And people wonder why I still don't like him. IT'S BECAUSE HE IS THE SAME DOUCHE HE EVER WAS!!!

**Baby Lee** · 08-15-2019, 10:21 AM

Anna Amishablution

KCUnited · 08-15-2019, 10:46 AM

Sven D'Adventistool

Hammock Parties · 08-15-2019, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by burt

The Planet has truly lost it's burst when Claynus can actually get away with this delusion of grandeur for so many pages without any one saying a word!!!

"Fame surpassing even mine"

You've gotta be ****ing kidding me!!! And people wonder why I still don't like him. IT'S BECAUSE HE IS THE SAME DOUCHE HE EVER WAS!!!

It runs in the family.

Would you like an autograph? You are welcome to show up at the red carpet event for the premiere of my latest video this weekend.

ROYC75 · 08-15-2019, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by New World Order

Second cousins

Wouldn't this be " kissing cousins" or " ****ing cousins" ?

Hammock Parties · 08-15-2019, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ROYC75

Wouldn't this be " kissing cousins" or " ****ing cousins" ?

This is dumb, even for you. I've never even met the dude.

burt · 08-15-2019, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

This is dumb, even for you. I've never even met the dude.

And yet the odds are 80 to 1 that you'd **** him.

burt · 08-15-2019, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

It runs in the family.

Obviously.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

Would you like an autograph? You are welcome to show up at the red carpet event for the premiere of my latest video this weekend.

Pass. But out of curiosity, which Hardees will the event be held at?

Hammock Parties · 08-15-2019, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by burt

Obviously.

Pass. But out of curiosity, which Hardees will the event be held at?

It's actually a private party with a full BBQ spread at someone's house - invite only.

Gonna watch my shit and then the Steelers game. Probably 20-25 people there.

Shame you won't be invited.

burt · 08-15-2019, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

It's actually a private party with a full BBQ spread at someone's house - invite only.

Gonna watch my shit and then the Steelers game. Probably 20-25 people there.

Shame you won't be invited.

Oh, the Steelers game? Yeah....I'm gonna be in Cali. Me and Dane are going to Joe Montana's place to watch that game..gonna be 30-35 people there. Private party. Full pig roast by the pool. Yeah, that's the ticket....

**Baby Lee** · 08-15-2019, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by burt

Oh, the Steelers game? Yeah....I'm gonna be in Cali. Me and Dane are going to Joe Montana's place to watch that game..gonna be 30-35 people there. Private party. Full pig roast by the pool. Yeah, that's the ticket....

Warning, if ol' Joe skulks off upstairs, DO NOT FOLLOW. . . .

Hammock Parties · 08-15-2019, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by burt

Oh, the Steelers game? Yeah....I'm gonna be in Cali. Me and Dane are going to Joe Montana's place to watch that game..gonna be 30-35 people there. Private party. Full pig roast by the pool. Yeah, that's the ticket....

What is your problem, dude? I'm having some fun with my friends this weekend. Maybe just piss off.

ROYC75 · 08-16-2019, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

This is dumb, even for you. I've never even met the dude.

So one says, they are just words.

Just as mine are.

Words made into sentences.

Problem is, there just is no proof any of what you have said in this thread are true.... they are just words.

Hammock Parties · 08-16-2019, 09:06 AM

would you like to see screenshots of the DMs, you nimrod?

photographs of the family tree?

08-14-2019, 09:11 PM
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $4130478	I discovered tonight that my family name is a lie. A fellow Chiefs fan who started following me on twitter long ago and I have the same last name. There are lots of Wendlers, though. Jim Wendler is a famous powerlifter, his fame surpassing even mine. So I thought it was just a fun coincidence, mostly. Until tonight. For whatever reason I got curious when I saw my fellow Wendler tweeting tonight, looked at his profile, and noticed he lives in Springfield, MO. This is not far from where my grandfather was born (Freistatt, MO) and lived. So I asked my dad if grandpa had any brothers. Turns out he did have a brother...and several half brothers. So I messaged this dude and asked him about family history, and he says his dad's family is from Stotts City, MO and Mt Vernon, MO....which is eerily close to where my grandpa was not only born (see above), but lived for decades (Monett, MO). Turns out this dude had a FAMILY TREE all printed out just laying in his desk, and he starts sending me photos. My grandfather actually isn't on it, BUT someone with the SAME MIDDLE NAME AS ME is. Freistatt and Monett are all over this tree. This has to be the same family. I send the photo to my dad, who immediately identifies his own grandfather by his first name. Then he reveals his dad (my grandpa) had a falling out with my great grandfather and they were estranged for decades, never reconciling, my grandpa even refusing to go to his funeral. This is because my great grandfather was a douchebag who divorced my great grandmother for a younger woman during the depression, resulting in her basically working herself to death. Which, presumably, is why my grandpa isn't on the family tree. THEN this dude sends me ANOTHER photo of the tree dating back five generations to Germany. It shows the origin of my family name. When someone named Wendler married someone named Christianshatz. Only thing is...the Wendler is female. Apparently, Henry Christianshatz was so ashamed of his last name, when he married Anna Wendler, he decided to take her name. So, by all rights....my Wendler family name should not exist. Furthermore, my great grandfather was a douchebag, further casting shame upon the name. But the odds are I'm not reproducing anyway, meaning the family name dies with me. But it should already be dead, if you examine all the evidence. So you can call me Clay Christianshatz from now on. It's pronounced Christian-SHITS. Which...in many ways...is the perfect last name for me. Hey, at least it's legit.
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08-15-2019, 10:11 AM	#91
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $4130478	Sharon Shiiteshite! __________________ Chiefs game films
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08-15-2019, 10:21 AM	#93
Baby Lee Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $6838598	Anna Amishablution __________________ We need the kind of courage that can withstand the subtle corruption of the cynics - E.W.
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08-15-2019, 10:46 AM	#94
KCUnited Cheat Death Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Land of Drincoln Casino cash: $1708244	Sven D'Adventistool
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08-16-2019, 09:06 AM	#105
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $4130478	would you like to see screenshots of the DMs, you nimrod? photographs of the family tree? __________________ Chiefs game films
Posts: 279,855