Saying "Goodbye" to my old man

[duncan_idaho]

My dad passed away this week. He was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer earlier this year, and had been going through chemo.

I think the family had been lulled a little into a false sense of security, of time, because he had been tolerating the chemo so well. The doctors had found a concoction they thought his heart and liver (the two most vulnerable organs he had) could work through.

I don't know if it was complications from the chemo, but his heart gave out earlier this week.

Now, I'm not writing this as a look-at-me or cry for sympathy. I'm doing this because when I think about my dad, I think about the Chiefs, and watching games with him. He's the reason I care so much. There's another reason, too, but I'll talk about it at the end.

I am so, so thankful my dad and I got to see the past five years of the Chiefs together. That he got to see them get back to the top of the mountain this year.

He was always a more even-keel, optimistic fan than me. He endured the succession of washed up QBs with eternal optimism and belief that they could turn it around in KC, just like Lenny did.

I used to sarcastically thank him for raising me as a Royals/Chiefs/Mizzou fan, but damn if that didn't make 2014, 2015, and 2018-now all the sweeter. Now I thank him in earnest.

I'm so thankful he got to see that run end (and return the good-natured digs to his fraternity brother from Colorado, who never stopped reminding Dad about the 1983 draft).

We'll put him to rest tomorrow. Going to be a hard day, no doubt about it. But I'm confident that when I watch the Chiefs, it's going to bring the good things out. When I talk about them on here, it's going to bring the good things out.

Now, that other thing I mentioned at the top; if you're wondering if there's anything you can do, what I'd really like is for you to commit to taking care of yourselves. Go to the doctor. And please, please, please get your colonoscopies. My dad's cancer started as colon cancer before spreading. He never had a colonoscopy, and I can't help but think if he just HAD, he'd still be here. We would have caught it early enough and stopped it.

And I wouldn't be standing in his place at my sister's wedding next spring. I wouldn't be giving the speech, I'd be helping him write it.

If you've read all of this, thanks for letting me ramble. Sometimes, getting the words out is the best thing for this.

Go to your check-ups. Get the colonoscopy.

[HonestChieffan]

Condolences to you and family. Its never easy but for me over time the memories have become clearer and more meaningful as the pain has eased. God bless.

[Cosmos]

First season as well, without my wife of 31 years who passed in June…

She was a Laker fan at heart, but shared Chiefs Sundays with me and our son every time they aired in the LA market.

Never forget our last SuperBowl 2023 hug/kiss.

I know she up there rooting us all on this Sunday.

[scho63]

My Mom died 22 years ago yesterday at age 60 1/2 from lung and brain cancer. Can't believe how long it's been. My Dad will be dead 28 years from liver cancer the day before his 57 birthday next month.

Sucks losing both parents.

[duncan_idaho]

Originally Posted by JPH83

Hi Duncan, my dad passed away on Jan 12th, we had his funeral last week.

It was an odd one as he wasn't around from the age of 10. He worked in oil and gas all over the world and for about 20 years I barely saw him, aside from a couple of killer holidays visiting him in Brazil and the like.

It was weird putting together his funeral service. There were loads of messages from old colleagues saying how great craic he was etc etc and I just thought - well, damn, I'm glad he had fun, but I don't know this guy much at all. There were photos of him I'd never seen, and family ones stopped when we were young.

He came back to live in the UK about 10 years ago from California and pretty much hated it. Covid, divorce from his 2nd wife, boozing all put him down a path. My sister and I tried to intervene but he wouldn't listen. Or at least wouldn't act.

I think he had a pretty good life, but he died way too young (73, his dad lived into his mid-90s). My friends asked me if his dying had made me re-think anything. My only thought, which I've thought for awhile, was that you can live your life without responsibility and kinda selfishly, but you will always pay a price in the end. My mum grinded and now has a great retirement, loads of friends, active etc. My dad didn't and he died sad and lonely, I think.

I feel a lot of things. Guilt for maybe not being a better son, anger, sheer incredulity at his ****wittery at times, obviously sad we never had the relationship we might. It comes in waves. I read a story at his funeral and my sister read a poem, I think we did him justice.

One nice thing was he was a runner. Got polio age 5 and almost died, tried running to build up his strength, found out he was pretty good, apparently. Won loads of cups etc. We found his old athletics club and wanted to know if there were any pics. There weren't, but he still holds the Under-17s records in the 600 and 800ms...from 1969. So, 55 years, think he ran 1.54.7 age 16 or something. Kind of a cool legacy that he's disappointed 55 years' worth of aspiring young local runners who never beat his records!

Anyway, sorry to all for rambling, I hope you're doing OK Duncan.

I'm sorry for your loss. There is so much to process, so much complexity of emotion.

The morning yesterday was hard. Really hard. It was the first passing of his birthday without him.

But Mrs. Idaho and I took the twins on an outing yesterday and spent it running around playing laser tag and bowling and playing video games. It was great and I found a lot of peace in it.

[Toad]

God speed Duncan
Thoughts and prayers to you and you family

[JPH83]

Originally Posted by duncan_idaho

I'm sorry for your loss. There is so much to process, so much complexity of emotion.

The morning yesterday was hard. Really hard. It was the first passing of his birthday without him.

But Mrs. Idaho and I took the twins on an outing yesterday and spent it running around playing laser tag and bowling and playing video games. It was great and I found a lot of peace in it.

Thanks man, and I'm sorry for your loss, and sorry for hijacking this to talk about my old man. Wasn't my intention but these things have a way of working their way out I guess.

Glad to hear you found peace hanging with your family, doing the same with my daughter today. Family is everything when it's all boiled down.

[Mr_Tomahawk]

Lost my FIL on Jan. 12th this year. He was 65. I was closer to him than my own father.

Closest person to me I have ever lost. Freak accident...unexpected...totally sucks. There is nothing else to say. Been alot of tough days the past few weeks. Just had his funeral on Friday and celebration of life on Sunday....it was a tough weekend.

That's all I got. :-(

[J Diddy]

Originally Posted by Cosmos

First season as well, without my wife of 31 years who passed in June…

She was a Laker fan at heart, but shared Chiefs Sundays with me and our son every time they aired in the LA market.

Never forget our last SuperBowl 2023 hug/kiss.

I know she up there rooting us all on this Sunday.

I'm hoping she's whooping it up in the NKH private suite.

[IowaHawkeyeChief]

Great post. Your Dad did a good Job. My Dad is in his 80's and we see each other at least once a month and I call a couple of times a week, but we aren't overly close. I tried to change that with my son. We are very close despite him living in Montana and me in Iowa. We probably talk daily, or at least every other day. I can't wait to spend the weekend with him in Vegas. It sounds like this is what you had with your dad, priceless.

[bdj23]

A good post for a sad reason. Sorry to hear man.

[BIG_DADDY]

Sorry for your loss brother. He sounds like a great guy.

[kcbubb]

I appreciate you posting this, Duncan. I feel that. You’ll rock the wedding speech!

[Fishels]

This is one of my biggest fears in life. Incredibly sorry.

[Fishels]

Also just to chime in, I’m 29 years old and have had between 3-5 colonoscopies. I’ve got alot or chronic stomach issues.

They are no big deal. You stay up and poop all night and then you’re put to sleep. You wake up and then go eat your favorite meal if you want. The most painful part is simply a small prick for the IV.


When in doubt absolutely get checked out

[scho63]

Originally Posted by Fishels

Also just to chime in, I’m 29 years old and have had between 3-5 colonoscopies. I’ve got alot or chronic stomach issues.

They are no big deal. You stay up and poop all night and then you’re put to sleep. You wake up and then go eat your favorite meal if you want. The most painful part is simply a small prick for the IV.


When in doubt absolutely get checked out

Between 3-5 colonoscopies? Did you mean 4? I'm pretty certain I would know for sure how many I had. Were you were Shanghai'ed and forced to endure unsanctioned colonoscopies?


Going for my first colonoscopy at nearly 61 years old in mid March. Having an endoscopy at same time. Third endoscopy. GERD, Barrett's esophagus and Hiatal Hernia. Doctor's going in from both ends at once. I'm being gang banged by my Gastroenterologist.

29 and already getting colonoscopies. Did you ever consider that maybe you just enjoy having things put in your keester more than the discomfort of the prep? Not that there is anything wrong with that..

Just a thought........