Hypothetical: Get reincarnated here.

[Rain Man]

Just for fun, I've been dividing the world up into regions, and just finished last night. I divided the world into 16,789 regions based on states, provinces, communities, islands, arrondissements, or whatever else happened to be handy.

I didn't know what to do with it, so I created a reincarnation simulator. Sign up here and learn about your next life in advance. I'll give you:

Gender: (Male or Female)
Intelligence: 1 to 100, with 100 as the top
Attractiveness: 1 to 100, with 100 as the top
Economic Status: 1 to 100, with 100 as the top
Nation of Future Birth
Region of Future Birth
Population of that Region (which is somewhat useless since the boundaries are generally manmade, but hey, I've got it)

All statuses are relative to the region that you're in, not the world. So if you draw a 50 on economic status and you're born in the Badghis regions of Afghanistan, that means that you're at the median status of Badghis residents.

Sign up below if you're interested in the early release of your next life. I'll do three reincarnations per day, with the goal that we can discuss and decide which of the three has the best future fate awaiting them. Feel free to post pictures, maps, or descriptions of the reincarnated person's life as you see it.

So sign up below and we'll do the first three today.


Methodology: All figures are random. The probability of being born into a particular region is based on the population of that region.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Oh good. I thought my reincarnation was getting bumped up from Thursday morning. I'm glad that's not the case. I don't like tempting fate.

[MagicHef]

Hmm... to be honest, there may be worse places to live a short, horror-filled life.

[MIAdragon]

lets have it.

[Pointer19]

All right, Pointer19, you're up on the execution/resurrection block.

Gender Male
Intelligence 100
Appearance 100
Wealth 100
Nation United States of America
Region Hudson Valley, NY
Population 853,000

He'll come back as a stunning, brilliant, and rich man.

Damn. I would've liked some change, man.

[bricks]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

We'll have four reincarnations today, starting with bricks.

Gender Female
Intelligence 77
Appearance 87
Wealth 31
Nation China
Region Chongqing Shi
Population 9,115,900

He'll come back as a quite hot and relatively sharp woman in the outlying areas of Chongquing, China, albeit from a relatively low caste. I'm going to guess that he'll be an attractive farm worker in an outlying town like this:

A poor hot woman coming from a low caste in a country like China? Great! Lol....I'm either gonna get raped or kidnapped and made a sex slave. No thanks. I think I'd rather stay dead.

[luv]

I'll get reincarnated.

[stumppy]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Stumppy's road to reincarnation involves good genes and a bad situation.

Gender Female
Intelligence 81
Appearance 60
Wealth 53
Nation Chad
Region Abdi
Population 114,055


Abdi is part of the Ouaddai region of Chad, in the southeast part of the country adjacent to the Darfur region of Sudan. I suspect that you'll use your intelligence to avoid the military and learn about scavenging.

"Help....Mr. Wizard I don't want to be reincarnated anymore."

"Dwizzlew dwazzle dwazzle dwome time for this one to come home"

[MagicHef]

Originally Posted by Amnorix

This entire thread is mostly a reminder that one of the absolute best things to ever happen to us was the fact that we were born in the USA.

Just being born in another country might not necessarily be so terrible, but being born a poor woman in another country? Yikes.

I'm not sure if Rain Man meant for this thread to advance feminism, but it seems like it might be pretty effective at it.

[cwhocares]

And I thought I had to much time on my hands.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by MagicHef

Just being born in another country might not necessarily be so terrible, but being born a poor woman in another country? Yikes.

I'm not sure if Rain Man meant for this thread to advance feminism, but it seems like it might be pretty effective at it.

That may be an inadvertent impact. Actually, I think it's interesting to look at life in these other places. One of my theories is that a lot of third world countries may not be as bad as we think, per magichef's lemonade that he's finding in central India. We'll see how it turns out.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts

These are fun. I'm in!

Flopnuts is today's first reincarnation. He's a thoroughly average guy who walked into a good situation in Nanyang, China. (Yet another inland Chinese city.)

He's living the urban lifestyle and rocking it.

Male
52
52
90
China
Nanyang
19,119,456

I'm guessing that he lives in on an upper floor of a nice high-rise.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower

Your wish was fulfilled, kind of.

Gender Male
Intelligence 17
Appearance 6
Wealth 41
Nation India
Region Raipur
Population 4,063,872

I'm guessing that you'll live in a place like this if you're lucky, but only if you're lucky. And frankly, the fact that you'll be both dense and horribly unattractive are going to hurt your prospects. No offense.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by big nasty kcnut

In!

Today is apparently our day to catch up on China.

Gender Male
Intelligence 50
Appearance 58
Wealth 7
Nation China
Region Neijiang
Population 4,194,004

Some poor people in Neijiang live in places like this, but you may actually be homeless.

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by Amnorix

So I want you all to know that if any of you turn out to be smoking hot chicks located in some awful country -- there is a standing offer of marriage (pre-nup required) from a well-to-do, intelligent, pleasant, funny, but rather ugly fellow residing in lovely western Canada.

Mail order bride your way out of hell and come to Calgary.

Well, shit. That's beautiful as ****.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Flopnuts is today's first reincarnation. He's a thoroughly average guy who walked into a good situation in Nanyang, China. (Yet another inland Chinese city.)

He's living the urban lifestyle and rocking it.

Male
52
52
90
China
Nanyang
19,119,456

I'm guessing that he lives in on an upper floor of a nice high-rise.

As a descendant of Gan Ning (General of Wu during the Three Kingdoms) I've found myself well off financially, and therefore socially and with the woman as I'm fairly normal looking, and speaking. I like spending my weekends on the Bai River, and casually shopping at the Dannisi Underground Shopping Mall where I continue to add to my collection of sunglasses, and picking up loose women.

I frequent the Yes Bar and the Romance Bar at night because who doesn't like a lot of yes when it comes to romance? Whenever the mood to gamble strikes, you'll find me at Club 88 before it's go time on the roulette. I like to gamble and ****, and drink! All. Night. Long.

I try not to let it interfere with my job as the general manager of the tobacco factory. It's a rather large factory, and being the overseer of such a large operation I've found ways to delegate most of my responsibilities to underlings who are too afraid of my presence to question me.

Being in the top 10 percentile of income has allowed me to live a life of privilege and I've abused that power in every sense of the term. There are the haves, and the have nots, and I remind people of that to fulfill my every whim. It's not an amazing life, but it's one that suits me very well and I'm grateful I've been the rapor instead of the rapee in this existence.