Ask Iowanian. Pt II, the Keyboard of Doom

[Iowanian]

If you've got a problem, yo Ahll Solve it, check out my hooks, while DJ revolves it..tss tss ts tss tst

If Dr Laura, Dr Phil or Ann Landers couldn't help you.....Serve it up.


Its the offseason, the board needs something other than politics. This thread, and the answers will go where you take it. A serious Question....I'll try to help, and or rely on others......A not serious question....You'll get what you ask for.


disclaimer: Iowanian is not a licensed Doctor, Psychologist or anything else. No responsibility shall be taken by advisors on any issue within the thread. The answer "I have no #@%&* idea " is valid and acceptable for these purposes. If the thread sucks, it shall fade into planet oblivion.

[Iowanian]

Iowanian asks you!

Anyone have any experience with a stationary mouse with a thumb roller(for carpel tunnel prevention)? Do you like them? Which brand would you use?

[Bob Dole]

OK Baldy.

[Velvet_Jones]

Dr I,

Is it normal for a proctologist to put both hands on the back of your shoulders when he is examining you? Are the examination gowns normally this lacy?

Thanks

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by Velvet_Jones

Dr I,

Is it normal for a proctologist to put both hands on the back of your shoulders when he is examining you? Are the examination gowns normally this lacy?

Thanks

How many times do I have to tell you not to go to old strip mall doctor offices, that you find through an ad stapled to a phone pole?

I'm sorry Velvet....but I think you were given the ole Denver 3rd thumb.


It doesn't make you ghey, unless you go back for those weekly appointments.

[Iowanian]

Thats a good question End.....I think there are some standard factory answers, which I'll try to show in a link at the end of my reply.

I feel that the proper answer depends on where you live, the conditions in which you drive among other things. If you drive on the Hwy or in the city, it would last longer than if you spend time on rural Gravel roads.

The Life expectancy of the filter isn't really the same for everyone. Short trips, harsh climates, pulling loads and other environmental factors would warrent replacing of all filters more often.

I try to pull the Air filter out of our vehicles every couple of oil changes,and "blow them out" with an air hose. A clean air filter helps your truck run better, and will improve performance and Gas mileage. I suppose I change mine every 5-6 oil changes.....around 15k miles.

Check the experts at
http://www.fram.com/

[ROYC75]

Dear I,

The Chiefs need a MLB. They have this kid named Rich Scanlon that looks great against 2nd and 3rd string defense. Is there a cahnce he will see 1st string action next game since Mitchellis possible out ?

Roy
President of the Scanlon for MLb Club !

[Skip Towne]

Or you can take the air filter out altogether. That way you get a free Oklahoma bore job.

[RealSNR]

Dear Dr. Iowanian:

My mom was recently robbed while she was sleeping. She now wants "revenge" and will do anything she can to prevent furthur break-ins, including buying a firearm to protect herself. She'll be living alone with her husband in the country in a couple years, and she finds this new security very important.

She's kind of weak, and has some shoulder pain. Because of this, I advised against a shotgun, but a smaller handgun might deliver too powerful of a kickback. What would you recommend?

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by ROYC75

Dear I,

The Chiefs need a MLB. They have this kid named Rich Scanlon that looks great against 2nd and 3rd string defense. Is there a cahnce he will see 1st string action next game since Mitchellis possible out ?

Roy
President of the Scanlon for MLb Club !

While I'm no expert on the team, I am an avid fan. Considering the Short week before the next game, the injuries to Maslowski and possible injury to Mitchell, I think its highly probable that you'll get your chance to see Scanlon play alot, if not start.

If Mitchell isn't seriously injured, I think he'll play because he really needs the reps if he's going to be a long term sollution at MLB(at least this year). Scanlon will likely see reps with the first Unit........at least he would if I were coaching with 4 days to a game.

Whomever it is, will hear me cheering through the TV, Putting Big Medicine their direction to Knock Kellen Whineslow III out of his shoes.......complete with snot bubbles.

[ROYC75]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

While I'm no expert on the team, I am an avid fan. Considering the Short week before the next game, the injuries to Maslowski and possible injury to Mitchell, I think its highly probable that you'll get your chance to see Scanlon play alot, if not start.

If Mitchell isn't seriously injured, I think he'll play because he really needs the reps if he's going to be a long term sollution at MLB(at least this year). Scanlon will likely see reps with the first Unit........at least he would if I were coaching with 4 days to a game.

Whomever it is, will hear me cheering through the TV, Putting Big Medicine their direction to Knock Kellen Whineslow III out of his shoes.......complete with snot bubbles.

Thanks Dr. I .

BTW, it's going to suck this week not getting to watch it until Monday night !

[Calcountry]

Originally Posted by Lattimer

My penis doesn't fit in my pants anymore . Should I just let it hang out?

So, are you trying to say that Enzyte works???

I heard Delt has a bottle for 39.95.

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by SNR

Dear Dr. Iowanian:

My mom was recently robbed while she was sleeping. She now wants "revenge" and will do anything she can to prevent furthur break-ins, including buying a firearm to protect herself. She'll be living alone with her husband in the country in a couple years, and she finds this new security very important.

She's kind of weak, and has some shoulder pain. Because of this, I advised against a shotgun, but a smaller handgun might deliver too powerful of a kickback. What would you recommend?

Your mom needs to adopt the basics of Rural security. A Security Light in the driveway, a motion light on her garage or home, and a dog........Blue Heelers are excellent farm dogs....tough, loyal to their owners, and protective of their Turf.

Normally, I'd recommend a firearm...however, if she's not prepared and practiced, that could be a poor decision. A reasonable caliber firearm can be purchased, locked up, until she has been properly trained in safety, handling and using it.......and practiced at a range until she is comfortable enough to load it and be ready to use it in the dark. A 9mm makes a loud BANG! and doesn't kick too hard.

In the mean time....Photoshop a picture of a large Bull Scrotum over a target..........Shoot the center of it a couple of times with a shotgun and write the words

"SNR Mom's Name Security System Activated!".....place one on each entrance and on the garage/shed door....

[Calcountry]

Dr. I,

I have this obsession to buy some plane tickets to watch a football game at Arrowhead, should I spend the money on myself, or am I being selfish with it and should spend it on Christmas for my wife?

[Skip Towne]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

While I'm no expert on the team, I am an avid fan. Considering the Short week before the next game, the injuries to Maslowski and possible injury to Mitchell, I think its highly probable that you'll get your chance to see Scanlon play alot, if not start.

If Mitchell isn't seriously injured, I think he'll play because he really needs the reps if he's going to be a long term sollution at MLB(at least this year). Scanlon will likely see reps with the first Unit........at least he would if I were coaching with 4 days to a game.

Whomever it is, will hear me cheering through the TV, Putting Big Medicine their direction to Knock Kellen Whineslow III out of his shoes.......complete with snot bubbles.

Snot bubbles........YES!!!

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by bunnytrdr

Dr. I,

I have this obsession to buy some plane tickets to watch a football game at Arrowhead, should I spend the money on myself, or am I being selfish with it and should spend it on Christmas for my wife?

Buy a very large suitcase..........Explain to your wife that you are taking her on a "suprise" trip and zip her up.....check her in, and use the saved airfare on her ticket, and your beer, nachos and Braut at the game.

Duh.


OOOOOOOOOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wait until you know a weekend that she has some event(bridal shower, bachelorette part-ah etc.....something she won't miss)..........show "disappointment" that she can't join you(but not TOO much mind you, or she'll come along)...............Come to the game without her, and hit the Juggies Joint the night before the game, lose your shirt so you won't smell like cotton candy and Clove cigarettes......

Yeah.......do that one.