Rejected Penthouse Letters

[Iowanian]

With Spring Approaching....its nearing the season where the sensual wind whispers of possible neked ladies in River Falls Wisconsin.

I humbly await frequilizer's sequel......the Sequalizer! I like it.

This thread had sooo much potential.

[seclark]

i'm in...got my feet kicked up and a beer in my hand.

make it a good one sequalizer...at least get to see something this time!
sec

[Chief Roundup]

rejection for lack of ejection...

[BIG_DADDY]

Good ol equaliar. That's probably the closest he's come to hittin it dude, give him a break.

[Iowanian]

Are you s hitting me?

So many posters, that NEVER get laid...and no one can come up with a rejected letter to top the frequilizer?

Kcchiefsman.....beerme.....gojensen.......you know you've got alot of "it didn't work out" material....

Let it rip.

[morphius]

This was my comeback to the orginal posting of this one, also sadly true...

I've got a true story to share as well...

Went out with one of my friends one night, real hottie (Blonde, huge blue eyes, nearly a 6pack, you get the idea), and while I was over at her house she took a shower. I didn't see anything, cause I was in the next room, but I was that close. After she is dressed we go over to meet her best friend, who is actually suprisingly ended up being even hotter, head to a local bar and all three share a fish bowl.

Later that night we head over to a house party that just so happens to have a hot tub in the back yard. After about 30 minutes of hanging out we all go and get changed for the hot tub. So right next door to where I was changing, were two hotties getting naked and puttin' on some shorts and t-shirts. We all slide into the hot tub together, so now I'm with a couple hotties who are all wet.

Then someone comes bursting through the backdoor and asks if we all want to go for a ride in the limo, so we all jump out and head back to change. Here I am again, right next door to a couple of hotties, who are now wet and changing clothes. I mean all I would have had to do is open the door to the room I was in and open the door to the room they were in, and boom, there would have been two hotties naked in front of me.

The Limo drives me back to my truck, I jump in and drive home. But that night, I was this close to seeing hotties naked.

[Iowanian]

I'll write one for someone.....for historical reasons, we'll call him Ken.

So der I am in mah packer stAWckin hat with my pal Mark Chumura. We are cruisin down main street when this hot HS chic gets out of her dad's minivan and stops us....She's wearing this real tight number that stops just short of showing everything....the neckline plundges down near the aeriola of her ample breasticle. In her sultry voice, she says that If I'll come along too, we can pick up her friend and go to a private party.

We arrive at the house, and go to the back yard. Mark slides smoothly over to (we'll call her) Veronica and slides his arm around her shoulder in a way that oozed dominance. My task was simple...keep the big un busy so my friend could score. Even I, could surely make Carla "the refrigerator" Peterson busy.

I trip getting into the pool, and spill half of my wilderberry winecooler onto Big Betty. She snorts a little when she laughs, sucks some water into her nose and begins to choke. Seeing my chance, I pounce on her like a wildabeast in heat. My backhair flowed like Mane in the hottub. Something was wrong, and she slapped me off, as she choked for air. The Snot and water bubbling from her nose and onto her plump lip. It was just too hot to see that, and my gun went off early......as the sludge rose to the top, everyone jumped from the hot tub and said I ruined the party.

Unable to explain the mess to her father, the girl pressed charges on Mark, ruining my hero's career in Green Bay.

[vckcchiefs04]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I'll write one for someone.....for historical reasons, we'll call him Ken.

So der I am in mah packer stAWckin hat with my pal Mark Chumura. We are cruisin down main street when this hot HS chic gets out of her dad's minivan and stops us....She's wearing this real tight number that stops just short of showing everything....the neckline plundges down near the aeriola of her ample breasticle. In her sultry voice, she says that If I'll come along too, we can pick up her friend and go to a private party.

We arrive at the house, and go to the back yard. Mark slides smoothly over to (we'll call her) Veronica and slides his arm around her shoulder in a way that oozed dominance. My task was simple...keep the big un busy so my friend could score. Even I, could surely make Carla "the refrigerator" Peterson busy.

I trip getting into the pool, and spill half of my wilderberry winecooler onto Big Betty. She snorts a little when she laughs, sucks some water into her nose and begins to choke. Seeing my chance, I pounce on her like a wildabeast in heat. My backhair flowed like Mane in the hottub. Something was wrong, and she slapped me off, as she choked for air. The Snot and water bubbling from her nose and onto her plump lip. It was just too hot to see that, and my gun went off early......as the sludge rose to the top, everyone jumped from the hot tub and said I ruined the party.

Unable to explain the mess to her father, the girl pressed charges on Mark, ruining my hero's career in Green Bay.

Very nice!!!

[Iowanian]

No way can this be dropped back into oblivion yet.

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by III

That was a amazing weekend.

This girl is like the sweetest and nicest girl i've met in my life, and for all you chiefs fans that will be at the game this year for the 37 forever event, get ready cause if i have the money im bringing her with me.

Then yall will get 2 meet her, oh yea and thanks for the help and advice yall have given me, it has helped me out tremendously.

Im pretty sure all you guys are gonna ask me some questions about what happened, i'll tell a little but dont expect me 2 get into high detail.

May the Questions begin.