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Old 11-28-2018, 12:02 PM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Your rooting guide for Week 13.
Tell me if you disagree, because some of these are developed with four-dimensional logic. Games are ranked in importance from top to bottom.


Chiefs over Raiders - Greatness starts here.

Vikings over Patriots - Ideally, we want the Patriots and Steelers to end up in the #2 and #3 seed so they have to play each other and confuse the refs about which team to favor, but I'm going conservative here. I want more breathing room to keep the #1 seed.

Steelers over Chargers - I feel very dirty here, but we want the Steelers in the #2 or #3 spot, and I want more breathing room over the Chargers. This would more or less fiinish off the division race in any reasonable scenarios.
Bengals over Broncos - Because we really want the Bengals in the playoffs, and we enjoy Broncos misery. Plus, the Broncos could win out after this game.

Titans over Jets - Because f*** the Colts, and Mike Vrabel puts a tight end pass blocking on JJ Watt. Get the Titans above the Colts in the playoff push.

Jaguars over Colts - Because f*** the Colts.

Browns over Texans - Trying to get weaker teams into the bottom playoff spot, and we don't want the Texans hogging that #2 seed.

Dolphins over Bills - Trying to get weaker teams into the bottom playoff spot.

Lions over Rams - Nine straight penalties in the first quarter. Lose, you ref-coddled sushi eaters. Lower seed for you.

Cowboys over Saints - Position the Saints for a lower seed to increase their chances of getting knocked off in the playoffs.

Redskins over Eagles - Keep the weaker team in the playoff chase, I guess, even though this conflicts with my Seahawks logic below. Plus, I don't want the Eagles getting on a hot streak.

Ravens over Falcons - This is a close one. Normal logic would state that we want AFC playoff contenders to lose, but I think the Ravens are one of the weaker playoff contenders. I'd rather see them block out the Colts. Because f*** the Colts.

Seahawks over 49ers - This is a tough one. We don't want stronger teams in the playoffs, and a Seahawks win threatens the weak Redskins. But the Seahawks have a better chance of knocking off the Saints or Rams. So I'm going Seahawks.

Bears over Giants - Because we're trying to knock the Saints and Rams out of the bye week, and because Eli Manning didn't go to the team that drafted him.

Cardinals over Packers - Because none of us really like Aaron Rodgers any more, and Josh Rosen always looks so sad.

Buccaneers over Panthers - Who doesn't enjoy seeing Fitzmagic?

If these things happen, here's the seeding coming out of Week 13.
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Old 11-28-2018, 12:05 PM   #2
Shoes Shoes is offline
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I thought this was going to be an in-depth guide on how to plant trees that coincides with week 13 of the NFL schedule. Pretty disappointed to be honest.
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Old 11-28-2018, 12:17 PM   #3
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I thought this was going to be an in-depth guide on how to plant trees that coincides with week 13 of the NFL schedule. Pretty disappointed to be honest.
Take every third word, translate it into Russian, exchange the vowels with consonants, translate it back to English, exchange every third consonant with a vowel, and you'll find what you seek. My posts reward the clever.
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Old 11-28-2018, 12:20 PM   #4
Buehler445 Buehler445 is online now
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Can’t root for Steelers. Just can’t ****ing do it. Besides they’ll have the refs rooting for them. Can’t root for the Dolts either, but there will be no rooting.

I hope we beat the Faid so bad Davis sues for some of his money back.

**** Donk Forever.
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Old 11-28-2018, 12:25 PM   #5
Hog's Gone Fishin Hog's Gone Fishin is offline
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I'm with all of this. I'd rather play the Steelers or Patriots right now than the Texans or Colts. As a matter of fact I WANT the Patriots in the AFCC, I spent considerable effort on the Patriotsplanet telling those jerks we'll be seeing them at Arrowhead and to prepare their anuses
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Old 11-28-2018, 12:33 PM   #6
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I'm with all of this. I'd rather play the Steelers or Patriots right now than the Texans or Colts. As a matter of fact I WANT the Patriots in the AFCC, I spent considerable effort on the Patriotsplanet telling those jerks we'll be seeing them at Arrowhead and to prepare their anuses
I'll take the Texans any day of the week over the Steelers or Patriots.
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Old 11-28-2018, 12:36 PM   #7
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Old 11-28-2018, 12:49 PM   #8
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Fitzmagic? You don't follow NFC current events closely, I'm guessing?
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Old 11-28-2018, 12:51 PM   #9
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I just can't root for the Cowpokes JJ can get broke back by a billy goat idgaf.
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Old 11-28-2018, 12:57 PM   #10
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With our defense no game is a lock. Nobody here should want the Pats to get a bye week. They need to lose against the Vikes and Pitt to get them on the road and knock them out. Anybody but them.
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Old 11-28-2018, 12:58 PM   #11
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With our defense no game is a lock. Nobody here should want the Pats to get a bye week. They need to lose against the Vikes and Pitt to get them on the road and knock them out. Anybody but them.
And with our offense we should fear no team. I just want the 1 seed. I don't GAF about what other teams do.
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Old 11-28-2018, 01:02 PM   #12
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I really don't care about seeding in the playoffs. I want to beat the Steelers, Colts and Patriots on the way to the Super Bowl and bring on the Rams for a rematch and if it's the Saints then so be it because beating a team that beat the Rams is good enough for me.
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Old 11-28-2018, 01:05 PM   #13
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Can’t root for Steelers. Just can’t ****ing do it. Besides they’ll have the refs rooting for them. Can’t root for the Dolts either, but there will be no rooting.

I hope we beat the Faid so bad Davis sues for some of his money back.

**** Donk Forever.
I'm rooting for Jon Gruden have an emergency root canal.
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Old 11-28-2018, 01:09 PM   #14
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KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

Kansas City clinches a playoff berth:

1) KC win + MIA loss or tie + IND loss + HOU loss + TEN loss or tie

2) KC win + MIA loss or tie + IND loss + HOU loss or tie + BAL loss or tie + CIN loss or tie

3) KC win + MIA loss or tie + IND loss + HOU loss or tie + BAL loss + LAC loss
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Old 11-28-2018, 01:12 PM   #15
Hog's Gone Fishin Hog's Gone Fishin is offline
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I'll take the Texans any day of the week over the Steelers or Patriots.
No way, Watson's back to his old self and they now have D Thomas at WR to compliment Hopkins and they have a healthy Watts ,Clowney and mercilis taking out QBs. They're on a roll right now winning 8 in a row. They are most stacked to beat us.
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