Ten Things About Today's Game

[gblowfish]

Ten Things About Today's Game

10. I'm trying not to over react. I'll start by saying that. Right now I'm just pissed, and full of snot. I've got a really bad chest cold. I smell like Vicks Vapo-Rub, and I've just watched the NFL Network making fun of KC and licking Tebow's ball sack. Then I watched Metro Sports post game locker room coverage. I've been throwing down Nyquil like Jager Bombs for three straight days, so I'm going to take this week to rant. I haven't had a good rant in a long time. Today's mess is rant worthy. I'm going to talk about my day at Arrowhead, but before I do that, I want to rant about how sterilized the NFL has become. The image conscious team PR weasels have their grubby little fingers into everything, including training players and coaches how to say basically nothing but spin cliches after putrid losses like today. So I'm including my top ten bullshit PR spun post game comments that players and coaches always give after a day like today. BS #10: "We got out-physicalled by the Broncos defensive line today."

9. I didn't tailgate today for the first time in a long time. Instead, the Chiefs PR Weasels sent me an e-mail last week inviting me to loiter along the sideline during pre-game warmups. I'll attach a pic of what a field pass looks like. They said I could loiter between 10:45 and 11:30. So Mrs. Blowfish and I signed up and we went in early. First, you have to sign a five or six paragraph page of legal mumbo jumbo, basically promising not to sue the Chiefs for anything if you go out on the sideline. Then, you go into a little concrete block room with folding tables and chairs where they cut the herd up into little "groups." I was in "group two." Then, a guy leads you out of the little cinderblock room and you pop out in the west end zone side, go down the stairs and onto the field behind the goalpost. They let you hang out in a roped off area between the goal line and 20 yard line. We went down when Cassel and Palko were throwing passes to receivers and d-backs. Then the defensive coaches ran some interception drills. There was some chick in red stiletto boots wearing a tiara and a sash. I'm not sure who she was, but apparently her poop did not stink and the Chiefs Cheerleaders were taking pictures with her. BS #9: "We were confused by some of Denver's defensive calls today."

8. The guy that sits next to my seats had a field pass today too. He suggested we go up to the "Draft Room," another new Arrowhead PR invention designed to suck the soul out of the Arrowhead Experience. Its a place for people who have no friends and don't tailgate. He said they had drawings for prizes at 11:30, and we could run up there, sign up and maybe win something. Today they gave away a signed cheerleader calendar, a bag of Chiefs crapola from the gift shop, a ball signed by Haley and Pioli, and a ball signed by D Bowe. The room has a couple two or three bars; an obnoxious wedding reception style DJ, and an omelette bar where you can pay $20 for an omelette that would cost $3 at Denny's, We won nothing. Went to the seats, saw the B2 Bomber fly over for the National Anthem. BS #8: "We just need to play better as a team."

7. Chiefs scored 13 total points the last two weeks, at home, against the two of the weaker opponents on their schedule. They managed to beat the Colts with the only come from behind victory they've mustered. Today's first half performance was putrid by both offense and defense. Offense: Failure to cross midfield once in the first half. Defense: Go in at half down ten zip without allowing a completed pass. You can't hibernate for an entire half against anybody in the NFL and expect to win. Totally unacceptable. BS#7: "We're just not executing. The plays are there, we're just not executing."

6. Donks rushed for 244 yards against a Chiefs defense with two top five NFL picks on the front wall: Jackson and Dorsey. 96 of those yards given up to a third string back (Ball) on 30 carries. Denver play selection today: 55 runs, 8 passes. How a team cannot defense that kind of offensive imbalance is atrocious, simply atrocious. Chiefs allow only two passing completions. That's the good news. Bad news is, one is for a 56 yard TD bomb on 3rd and 11. Atrocious. BS#6: "We're going to have to watch the tape to see what happened."

5. Quit giving the ball to Thomas Jones. Cut him. Palko had twice as many yards rushing as Jones on just one carry. The biggest hole Jones has hit all season was the one he put in Baldwin's head. Quit running McNuthin' between the tackles. He loses yardage, and eventually will fumble. Jackie Battle averaged six yards per carry today. He ripped off a run for 34 yards in the second half. Then they ignored him the rest of the game. Stupid. Receivers dropped balls left and right. And when they did make a good play -such as the great catch by Baldwin- it's called back because of a stupid alignment penalty on Breaston. Bad teams screw themselves over and over. Good teams make their own luck. BS#5: "We've just got to keep working to get better Every man needs to look in the mirror."

4. Coach Haley came over at the two minute warning of the first half and screamed at the offense to "Get Their Heads Of Their Asses." Second half, sorry, head still up the ass on offense. Duke of Dink: 66 QB rating, 69 yards passing, took four sacks. Donk Jesus took no sacks, ran for 43 yards, no picks, ran for one TD and threw for one TD. Duke of Dink was outplayed by Donk Jesus at Arrowhead. That is disgusting, even more so with Horseface himself smiling about it over on the Denver sideline. Then, when crunch time came, Duke of Dink came out of the game, and Shane Falco was put in. Falco leads a scoring drive on his only possession. When it got to be crunch time, Duke of Dink went all Damon Huard French Surrender Monkey on us. Crennel had a big round everybody up meeting in the third quarter to dress down the defense. Impressive meeting. It was directly followed by Flowers and Langford getting torched for a game killing TD on a 3rd and 11. Flowers should have know better than to trust a third string safety to have his back. If Berry is healthy, Donk Jesus doesn't complete a pass all day. BS #4 "When guys get hurt other guys have to step up."

3. Dorsey got a knee blown out with about three minutes left in the game. They took him off on the wagon. Didn't look good. Look for teams like Pittsburgh, Chicago, Green Bay and Oakland to run through the Chiefs front wall like swiss cheese in the coming weeks. Studebaker got benched for not being able to play the option. Arenas got nothing done in punt or kick returns. Baby Brother Colquitt out-punted our Colquitt by 30 yards. Only thing Donks did bad all day was miss a field goal late. Didn't matter. BS #3: "We've got to be better in pass protection and give Cassel the time he needs to be successful."

2. This is what bothers me the most. As the game wound down, the players didn't seem to take it so hard. They just got beat by the Donks in Arrowhead. It was obvious, that to most of these guys it was just another NFL weekend, and so what if it was Denver? In the locker room afterwards, nobody seemed to be taking it very hard. On the sidelines, people in the stands were calling Cassel (and this is a direct quote) "a big f*cuking pussy." He just put his hat on and wandered down the sideline. I don't know. It's hard for me to care if the players don't care. In the post game interview, McClain was saying "Oh, this is like a big Kentucky Derby horse race...we're just all jumbled up in a pack right now." I say, "Wake up, dude, the scary part is just beginning." BS #2: We just need to start stacking some wins and we'll be fine."

1. The Chiefs remaining schedule is all against teams with winning records save one. The only remaining opponent with a losing record just kicked our ass today. Its very possible we will not see another win this year. If you can't get up for Denver at home, why should your fans care what happens the rest of the way? Somebody kick something. Somebody throw something. Somebody say something. That's all I have to say. Excuse me, I need to drink a bottle of Nyquil now. BS #1: "This team was not prepared, and that's all on me as coach. It's my fault. I'll do a better job next week."