When do you have a "talk" with your child's Coach?

[petegz28]

So my Son is 8 years old and playing in competitive soccer. I will be the first to admit that on his team of 9 he probably ranks 6th or 7th. Maybe 5th on a good day. He is disciplined, works hard, knows his game but is just one of the slower kids and not the strongest shooter. Usually plays Left or Right Back.

The Coach has had a tendency to play him less than the others and generally I am okay with that because at times he plays quite a bit. Then some things happened and I am not real sure how to approach it.

In a tournament we won our first 2 games and were an automatic lock for the finals. The 3rd game literally meant absolutely nothing. My Son's Coach decided to play the "best players" into the ground and my Son got to play all of 10 minutes of a 50 minute game in a game that meant literally nothing. I was pissed but said nothing.

Then tonight at practice the Coach handed out MVP Pins to 5 of of the 8 kids that were there and one to a kid who was practicing with us but not on our team. He said they "tried hard" the last game. The irony is my Son played most of the last game and more than just about anyone else, and one of the kids that didn't get a pin had 2 goals. So the "they tried hard" crap doesn't seem to make sense.

I thought that was a pretty shitty way to handle that situation as we had 2 subs that game, it was very hot and all the kids played their ass off and we won 7-1.

Our Coach is 22, and it's his first year coaching a team. I try to keep that in mind. I also have to keep in mind that if I piss him off he could plant my Son on the bench the rest of the season. Also with tryouts for next season coming up in a couple of weeks, I'd hate to do something to jeopardize my Son.

On the other hand, I see it as I am paying good $'s to play in this league and a dick move is a dick move.

Anyone else been in a similar situation?

[Coogs]

Team is also playing/played for a tournament championship, so the hated coach must be doing something correct.

[Kiimo]

People lose their minds when they have children

[WilliamTheIrish]

So much petegeezus in this. Stop worrying about stupid stuff Pete. I know he’s your world and you love him with all your being.

You want to improve his life for the better? Put him in a normal league.

Spend that $3k annually on a math/science tutor. When he “walks on” at local university with an academic scholarship and zero expense to you and the husband, and comes out of it making more than his father, you can then look back and know you did it right.

[carcosa]

About a week ago I took one of the absolute nastiest dumps in my life. I should have been executed for how nasty it was

[petegz28]

Originally Posted by Coogs

Team is also playing/played for a tournament championship, so the hated coach must be doing something correct.

, oh what you think you know. We have played 4 tournaments so far. 3 games in each tournament. We have won a total of 2 games. And that was because we played up a couple of kids from an Academy team.

And the coach you think is doing something right, ran them and the rest of our "good players" into the ground in a game that meant nothing and 3 hours later in the final they were gassed because our coach was so worried about winning a game that didn't matter.

[kcclone]

Originally Posted by petegz28

, oh what you think you know. We have played 4 tournaments so far. 3 games in each tournament. We have won a total of 2 games. And that was because we played up a couple of kids from an Academy team.

And the coach you think is doing something right, ran them and the rest of our "good players" into the ground in a game that meant nothing and 3 hours later in the final they were gassed because our coach was so worried about winning a game that didn't matter.

He’s 22. Wtf do you expect? He’s probably just doing what his coaches did when he was playing.

Maybe it’s bad coaching, but trust me when I say, this won’t be the last bad coach you have.

If half of the seasons in the next 10 years, your son plays for a good coach, you should take that as a win.

Also, remember that there is usually more things the coach is juggling than what the parents consider. You may not have all the info needed to say whether your son is getting screwed.

[petegz28]

Originally Posted by kcclone

He’s 22. Wtf do you expect? He’s probably just doing what his coaches did when he was playing.

Maybe it’s bad coaching, but trust me when I say, this won’t be the last bad coach you have.

If half of the seasons in the next 10 years, your son plays for a good coach, you should take that as a win.

Also, remember that there is usually more things the coach is juggling than what the parents consider. You may not have all the info needed to say whether your son is getting screwed.

Let's assume no parents ever said anything to him. How is he going to get better?

I haven't said anything to him and it isn't about just my kid. But nonetheless if someone doesn't ever tell you that you're doing something wrong and you think you're doing things right, how do you ever get better?

But whatever. Point of the thread was to ask other parents when they have decided to say something to a coach.

[seclark]

8 years old
8
That young man will be screwed over a lot worse and a lot more times in his life than this.

This is jack shit.
sec

[petegz28]

Originally Posted by seclark

8 years old
8
That young man will be screwed over a lot worse and a lot more times in his life than this.

This is jack shit.
sec

Not to him it isn't. Yes, he will be screwed over more and worse. That doesn't mean you tell him or other kids what they are working hard for doesn't matter.

I mean you can't tell kids to work hard for what they want then turn around and say it doesn't really matter. Now whether they achieve what they want to achieve or not is a different discussion.

[Jewish Rabbi]

Pete have you ever had sex with a farm animal?

[petegz28]

Originally Posted by Jewish Rabbi

Pete have you ever had sex with a farm animal?

Can you elaborate a bit on what exactly you mean by "farm" animal?

[Jewish Rabbi]

Originally Posted by petegz28

Can you elaborate a bit on what exactly you mean by "farm" animal?

Horse, chicken, cow, goat, pig, etc.

[petegz28]

Originally Posted by Jewish Rabbi

Horse, chicken, cow, goat, pig, etc.

Hmmm, not in the last 24 hours anyway

[kcclone]

Originally Posted by petegz28

Not to him it isn't. Yes, he will be screwed over more and worse. That doesn't mean you tell him or other kids what they are working hard for doesn't matter.

I mean you can't tell kids to work hard for what they want then turn around and say it doesn't really matter. Now whether they achieve what they want to achieve or not is a different discussion.

See for some reason you think working hard entitles you to certain things in sports.

Sports is littered with try-hard kids that end up being passed over. Mostly by other kids that also work hard, but are just better. And occasionally kids that don’t work hard or even care, but are just that much more physically blessed.

I would say, relax and sit tight until the end of the season. If it’s still bugging you, find a new team.

In the next 4-6 years, your kid will either rise to the top, or get left in the dust. That’s sports.

But regardless, he won’t be dwelling on this one game (or even this season).

[petegz28]

Originally Posted by kcclone

See for some reason you think working hard entitles you to certain things in sports.

Yeah, no....