If you don't like email jokes, don't read this one.

[a1na2]

She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.




On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper.


Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"


"About 32," is the reply.


"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.


A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.




The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."


The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."


Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.


The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."

Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"


While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.


He replies,"I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.


It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."


They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."


He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.


After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"


He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?"


The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"


"I promise I won't," she says.


"I was on line behind you in McDonald's."

[Lzen]

That's been around for years.

[a1na2]

Originally Posted by Lzen

That's been around for years.

May be, just hadn't been around my block.

[Skip Towne]

Originally Posted by Lzen

That's been around for decades.

FYP

[a1na2]

Originally Posted by Skip Towne

FYP

Still hadn't been around my block.

If it's been around that long I have to ask, were you the old man?
When was this?
Did she slap the crap out of you?
Was it good for you?
Did you both smoke afterwards?
Which McDonalds was it?

[a1na2]

Where is Skip. I need to know if it was him giving the age test.

[Iowanian]

Roping A Deer

Actual Letter from someone who writes, and farms.

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no chance.
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.
I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.
I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey.

[teedubya]

HOLY SHIT. If that is a true story, **** DEER!

[Sully]

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[bowener]

[a1na2]

Originally Posted by bowener

Which one?

[Ultra Peanut]

Co-dependence on opiates and cocaine occurs in about 60% of patients entering methadone treatment and has a poor prognosis. However, we recently found that desipramine (DMI) could be combined with buprenorphine to significantly reduce combined opiate and cocaine use among these dually dependent patients. Furthermore, contingency management (CM) has been quite potent in reducing cocaine abuse during methadone maintenance. To test the efficacy of combining CM with these medications we designed a 12-week, randomized, double blind, four cell trial evaluating DMI (150 mg/day) or placebo plus CM or a non-contingent voucher control in 160 cocaine abusers maintained on buprenorphine (median 16 mg daily). Cocaine-free and combined opiate and cocaine-free urines increased more rapidly over time in those treated with either DMI or CM, and those receiving both interventions had more drug-free urines (50%) than the other three treatment groups (25–29%). Self reported opiate and cocaine use and depressive and opioid withdrawal symptoms showed no differences among the groups and symptom levels did not correlate with urine toxicology results. Lower DMI plasma levels (average 125 ng/ml) were associated with greater cocaine-free urines. DMI and CM had independent and additive effects in facilitating cocaine-free urines in buprenorphine maintained patients. The antidepressant appeared to enhance responsiveness to CM reinforcement.

Background: Multiple idiopathic root resorption (MIRR) is a rare condition in man characterized by cervical resorption leading to significant tooth loss. A similar condition, feline osteoclastic resorptive lesions (FORL), affects up to 70% of domestic cats and thus provides a valuable model for investigating the etiopathogenesis of MIRR. The aim of the present study was to establish changes in the surface microanatomy of the tooth in late stage FORL and to identify whether its location has a surface bias.

Methods: Scanning electron microscopy (SEM) was used to analyze the surface features of enamel and cementum of feline teeth affected with advanced FORL.

Results: Resorption involved the coronal root at the cementoenamel junction (CEJ) in 95% of teeth and focal resorption of intact enamel was observed in 14% of teeth. In 55% of teeth, the main lesion was on the buccal surface and a distinct circumferential resorption "front" was present at the apical margin of resorption. The root surfaces of most affected teeth either lacked extrinsic fibers or cellular lacunae or featured evidence of cementum remodeling. Woven bone-like tissue was found within lesions, on resorbed dentin, or on the root surface in 27% of teeth.

Conclusions: This study demonstrates that most FORL involve the CEJ, and the presence of focal lesions at this site suggests that this is where resorption is initiated. This implies that local factors in the oral microenvironment play a role in the etiopathogenesis of this condition. The study also shows that FORL are more likely to occur on buccal surfaces and are associated with changes in the microarchitecture of the root surface consistent with destruction of the normal periodontal attachment and stimulation of a reparative response. These findings may be relevant to understanding the etiopathogenesis of multiple idiopathic resorption areas in man. J Periodontol 2005;76:1106-1112.

What is claimed is:

1. A compound of the formula (I):

wherein:

Y is NR,
wherein R is hydrogen or (C1–C6) lower alkyl;

represents (1) a phenyl ring optionally substituted with one or two substituents selected, independently, from the group comprising hydrogen, (C1–C6) lower alkyl, halogen, cyano, CF3, hydroxy, (C1–C6) lower alkoxy, or (C1–C6) lower alkoxy carbonyl, carboxy, —CONH2, —CONH[(C1–C6) lower alkyl], —CON[(C1–C6) lower alkyl]2; or (2) a 6-membered aromatic (unsaturated) heterocyclic ring having one nitrogen atom, optionally substituted by (C1–C6) lower alkyl, halogen or (C1–C6) lower alkoxy;

represents (1) a phenyl ring optionally substituted with one or two substituents selected, independently, from the group comprising hydrogen, (C1–C6) lower alkyl, halogen, cyano, CF3, hydroxy, (C1–C6) lower alkoxy, or (C1–C6) lower alkoxy carbonyl, carboxy, —CONH2, —CONH[(C1–C6) lower alkyl], —CON[(C1–C6) lower alkyl]2; (2) a 5-membered aromatic (unsaturated) heterocyclic ring having one nitrogen atom, optionally substituted by (C1–C6,) lower alkyl, (C1–C6) lower alkoxy, or halogen; or (3) a 6-membered aromatic (unsaturated) heterocyclic ring having one nitrogen atom, optionally substituted by (C1–C6) lower alkyl, halogen, or (C1–C6) lower alkoxy;

or a pharmaceutically acceptable salt.

2. A (4-cyclohexyl-phenyl)-(5,11-dihydro-pyrido[2,3-b][1,5]benzodiazepin-6-yl)-methanone, or a pharmaceutically acceptable salt form thereof.

3. A (4-cyclohexyl-phenyl)-(5,11-dihydro-11-methyl-5H-pyrido[2,3-b][1,5]benzodiazepin-6-yl)-methanone, or a pharmaceutically acceptable salt form thereof.

4. A (4-cyclohexyl-phenyl)-(5,11-dihydro-11-ethyl-5H-pyrido[2,3-b][1,5]benzodiazepin-6-yl)-methanone, or a pharmaceutically acceptable salt thereof.

5. A (4-cyclohexyl-phenyl)-(5,11-dihydro-10H-dibenzo[b,c][1,4]diazepin-10-yl)methanone, or a pharmaceutically acceptable salt form thereof.

6. A (4-cyclohexyl-phenyl)-(5,11-dihydro-5-methyl-10H-dibenzo[b,e][1,4]diazepin-10-yl)-methanone, or a pharmaceutically acceptable salt form thereof.

7. A method for treating diabetes insipidus, nocturnal enuresis, nocturia, urinary incontinence, or bleeding and coagulation, comprising administering to a mammal in need thereof a pharmaceutically effective amount of a compound of claim 1, or a pharmaceutically acceptable salt thereof.

8. A method of inducing temporary delay of urination in a mammal, the method comprising administering to a mammal in need thereof a pharmaceutically effective amount of a compound of claim 1, or a pharmaceutically acceptable salt.

9. A pharmaceutical composition comprising a pharmaceutically effective amount of a compound of claim 1 and a pharmaceutically acceptable carrier.

[a1na2]

Originally Posted by Ultra Peanut

I'm stupid and can't follow the thread..

FYP

[Ultra Peanut]

It's a pretty funny joke. I'm not surprised you don't get it.

[blueballs]

What a1na2 gets
you don't have anymore