hehe ... he said crotch-punchers

Mr. Laz · 10-25-2005, 11:10 AM

LEAGUE NEEDS TO GET TOUGH WITH CROTCH-PUNCHERS

The NFL has a problem that, for whatever reason, it has failed to properly acknowledge.

Players, it seems, have a thing for punching and grabbing other players in the crotch.

Although the chestnut clutch-and-crush move has been a long-time staple at the bottom of a pile-up, guys are getting increasingly brazen with the more easily detectable jab to the giblets.

Last week, Pats guard Logan Mankins was ejected for punching Broncos defensive end Ebenezer Ekuban in the groinius maximus. Mankins also was fined $7,500, although he claims that the punch was not intentionally targeted at Ekuban's eggs and sausage.

''I was trying to get him off of me and my hand came from the ground and caught him in the crotch," Mankins said. ''I just know he was on my hand and I wanted to get him off." (Editor's note: Whenever discussing the issue of making contact with another man's genitalia, it is not advisable to use the phrase "I wanted to get him off.")

On Sunday, Rams defensive tackle Damione Lewis delivered a blow to the bladder bling of Saints center LeCharles Bentley, drawing another ejection, along with the ire of Bentley and Rams interim coach Joe Vitt.

"You don't do that where I'm from," Bentley said, according to The St. Louis Post-Dispatch. "But he's a [University of] Miami guy. What do you expect? I hope the league fines him to the utmost degree of the law. They should ban him for a game, too. We don't need that in this league."

Said Vitt. also per The P-D: "We will not tolerate it. It'll be dealt with. We're going to play the game the right way, and that's not the right way."

Last year, Saints defensive back Steve Gleason was fined only $5,000 for a similar maneuver -- which seemed extremely incongruous to us in light of the $10,000 fine that was slapped on Randy Moss for merely pretending to show his cheeks to the Cheeseheads.

Although the league apparently has jacked up the price tag for a punch to the pee-pee by 50 percent in the past year, the $7,500 levied against Mankins last week matches the fine imposed six years ago on then-Vikings defensive end Duane Clemons for a power shot to Flozell's mini-hotel.

Look, the only way to get guys to quit attempting to inflict intentional injury on the manhood of other players (who typically don't wear cups), the NFL should significantly increase fines for conduct that, if it occurred in a bar or on a street corner, could get a guy thrown in jail.

If the league is willing to fine guys like Jim Haslett and Coach Teflon 20 large for (God forbid) acknowledging that the zebras are human and, like the rest of us, screw things up from time to time, players who see fit to target the testes of other guys should at least pay that amount -- if not much more.

Ultra Peanut · 10-25-2005, 11:12 AM

Naughty Marvcus!

**BigRedChief** · 10-25-2005, 11:14 AM

And they don't wear protective cups.

All that protective gear and not a single NFL player will admit to wearing a cup. You are a wimp if you wear a cup in the NFL.

Believe it or not.

**Rain Man** · 10-25-2005, 11:15 AM

Anyone arguing against the death penalty should read this article and really think about it.

**ChiTown** · 10-25-2005, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laz

LEAGUE NEEDS TO GET TOUGH WITH CROTCH-PUNCHERS

Last week, Pats guard Logan Mankins was ejected for punching Broncos defensive end Ebenezer Ekuban in the groinius maximus. Mankins also was fined $7,500, although he claims that the punch was not intentionally targeted at Ekuban's eggs and sausage.

Eggs & Sausage

**Iowanian** · 10-25-2005, 11:19 AM

If I played on the line, I think I'd wear a boxing Kidney-banana belt.

InChiefsHeaven · 10-25-2005, 11:24 AM

You would'nt catch me dead on a football field without a cup. My son plays football now, and I have to always remind him to wear it. To me, that should be automatic.

He's playing in the 11-12 year old league, and this is the age where suddenly, a cup makes a big difference. I've thought about just letting him take a shot and learn his lesson.

**BigRedChief** · 10-25-2005, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InChiefsHell

You would'nt catch me dead on a football field without a cup. My son plays football now, and I have to always remind him to wear it. To me, that should be automatic.

He's playing in the 11-12 year old league, and this is the age where suddenly, a cup makes a big difference. I've thought about just letting him take a shot and learn his lesson.

It is a rule in every college, High School, Pop Warner league in the nation. Except the NFL.

**ChiTown** · 10-25-2005, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InChiefsHell

You would'nt catch me dead on a football field without a cup. My son plays football now, and I have to always remind him to wear it. To me, that should be automatic.

He's playing in the 11-12 year old league, and this is the age where suddenly, a cup makes a big difference. I've thought about just letting him take a shot and learn his lesson.

Yep. Nothing says "lesson learned" like a cleat to the uncovered nuts.

ChiefsFire · 10-25-2005, 11:29 AM

eggs and sausage

htismaqe · 10-25-2005, 11:33 AM

Watch out or Scanlon will Richambeau you!

**BigRedChief** · 10-25-2005, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiTown

Yep. Nothing says "lesson learned" like a cleat to the uncovered nuts.

but then there would go the grandkids option. Who would visit you in the nursing home?

journeyscarab · 10-25-2005, 11:35 AM

Aunt Bettys nut-butter.

**ChiTown** · 10-25-2005, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigRedChief

but then there would go the grandkids option. Who would visit you in the nursing home?

I'm hoping to be wealthy enough by then that I'll have my own little version of Anna Nicole Smith, minus the fat.

jynni · 10-25-2005, 11:42 AM

Hee - where is that picture of Priest from the Washington game...

10-25-2005, 11:10 AM
Mr. Laz Don't Tease Me Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: KS Casino cash: $11047037	hehe ... he said crotch-punchers LEAGUE NEEDS TO GET TOUGH WITH CROTCH-PUNCHERS The NFL has a problem that, for whatever reason, it has failed to properly acknowledge. Players, it seems, have a thing for punching and grabbing other players in the crotch. Although the chestnut clutch-and-crush move has been a long-time staple at the bottom of a pile-up, guys are getting increasingly brazen with the more easily detectable jab to the giblets. Last week, Pats guard Logan Mankins was ejected for punching Broncos defensive end Ebenezer Ekuban in the groinius maximus. Mankins also was fined $7,500, although he claims that the punch was not intentionally targeted at Ekuban's eggs and sausage. ''I was trying to get him off of me and my hand came from the ground and caught him in the crotch," Mankins said. ''I just know he was on my hand and I wanted to get him off." (Editor's note: Whenever discussing the issue of making contact with another man's genitalia, it is not advisable to use the phrase "I wanted to get him off.") On Sunday, Rams defensive tackle Damione Lewis delivered a blow to the bladder bling of Saints center LeCharles Bentley, drawing another ejection, along with the ire of Bentley and Rams interim coach Joe Vitt. "You don't do that where I'm from," Bentley said, according to The St. Louis Post-Dispatch. "But he's a [University of] Miami guy. What do you expect? I hope the league fines him to the utmost degree of the law. They should ban him for a game, too. We don't need that in this league." Said Vitt. also per The P-D: "We will not tolerate it. It'll be dealt with. We're going to play the game the right way, and that's not the right way." Last year, Saints defensive back Steve Gleason was fined only $5,000 for a similar maneuver -- which seemed extremely incongruous to us in light of the $10,000 fine that was slapped on Randy Moss for merely pretending to show his cheeks to the Cheeseheads. Although the league apparently has jacked up the price tag for a punch to the pee-pee by 50 percent in the past year, the $7,500 levied against Mankins last week matches the fine imposed six years ago on then-Vikings defensive end Duane Clemons for a power shot to Flozell's mini-hotel. Look, the only way to get guys to quit attempting to inflict intentional injury on the manhood of other players (who typically don't wear cups), the NFL should significantly increase fines for conduct that, if it occurred in a bar or on a street corner, could get a guy thrown in jail. If the league is willing to fine guys like Jim Haslett and Coach Teflon 20 large for (God forbid) acknowledging that the zebras are human and, like the rest of us, screw things up from time to time, players who see fit to target the testes of other guys should at least pay that amount -- if not much more.
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10-25-2005, 11:12 AM	#2
Ultra Peanut v^V^v^V^v^V^ Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Holland* Casino cash: $10005177	Naughty Marvcus! Attached Thumbnails __________________
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10-25-2005, 11:14 AM	#3
BigRedChief Has a particular set of skills Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: On the water Casino cash: $3139627 VARSITY	And they don't wear protective cups. All that protective gear and not a single NFL player will admit to wearing a cup. You are a wimp if you wear a cup in the NFL. Believe it or not. __________________ Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. -YODA
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10-25-2005, 11:15 AM	#4
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3318491 VARSITY	Anyone arguing against the death penalty should read this article and really think about it. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
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10-25-2005, 11:19 AM	#6
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4758454	If I played on the line, I think I'd wear a boxing Kidney-banana belt.
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10-25-2005, 11:24 AM	#7
InChiefsHeaven Rockin' yer FACE OFF! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Omaha, Nebraska Casino cash: $3874937	You would'nt catch me dead on a football field without a cup. My son plays football now, and I have to always remind him to wear it. To me, that should be automatic. He's playing in the 11-12 year old league, and this is the age where suddenly, a cup makes a big difference. I've thought about just letting him take a shot and learn his lesson. __________________ We have a million reasons for failure, but not one excuse... Die Donks, DIE!! Holy Crap fellas!!! We did it!!! THREE TIMES!!!
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10-25-2005, 11:29 AM	#10
ChiefsFire Eh Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: on top Casino cash: $10004900	eggs and sausage __________________ Rock Chalk Championship.
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10-25-2005, 11:33 AM	#11
htismaqe 'Tis my eye! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Chiefsplanet Casino cash: $10269900	Watch out or Scanlon will Richambeau you!
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10-25-2005, 11:35 AM	#13
journeyscarab SHOCKERS BABY! Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Overland Park, KS Casino cash: $3733555	Aunt Bettys nut-butter.
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10-25-2005, 11:42 AM	#15
jynni Starter Join Date: Oct 2003 Casino cash: $2326331	Hee - where is that picture of Priest from the Washington game...
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