Life Funny true life stories. - Page 2

DenverChief · 02-08-2019, 09:22 PM

So yesterday I'm at the DMV getting new plates and some other miscellaneous vehicle registration stuff done. I'm in full uniform as I just got off duty and the DMV was on my way home. Everything went well the lady who helped me was pleasant and my trip in was fairly swift compared to the average trip to the DMV.

I get up to leave and make my way towards the exit when an older male, possibly late 50s to early 60s in an electric wheelchair is coming towards me into the county office area. As we get closer we have the following exchange:

Wheelchair guy: "Excuse me officer, can you tell me where I go to register my vehicle?"

Me: "yeah, straight ahead through the wooden double doors."

Wheelchair guy: "I'M BLIND!"

I Almost fell over right there. Somewhere between stunned and and laughing my ass off at the response. Fortunately a county worker standing close to the door summoned him in the direction he needed to go without having to have any further exchange. I turned around and walked out wondering wtf just happened.

It has been a long while since I have been surprised by someone, but this guy got me.

Anyone have any funny stories work related or not to share?

**SAUTO** · 02-09-2019, 08:50 AM

I'm a people watcher.

I could tell a ton of hilarious stories.

Just in the past week I saw someone moving all their stuff. They put the toilet (who the hell moves the toilet with them?) right smack dab in the middle of the couch and strapped out all down.

Ive even got pictures.

**Bwana** · 02-09-2019, 09:01 AM

I had an uncomfortable experience this summer. I was reviewing security footage on two of my cameras one Saturday and there was this ragtag looking old hide loitering around my garage door out in the alley. She was smoking something and I couldn't tell if it was a vape, or a crack pipe. She was also leaning on the door and pushing on it.

The young neighbor's to the west have security cameras as well and I noticed they were out in there back yard. I went over to the fence to give them a heads up about "some crazy lady hanging out in the alley." They asked what she looked like and after the description, my neighbor lady chimes in with, "that's my Mom, she's down visiting."

I was like, "oh shit, I'm sorry about that." They both laughed and said, but she is kind of crazy!" It also turned out it was a vape pipe. They are fantastic neighbors, and took it very well.

As a bonus, I saw "Mom" down visiting a couple extra times after that and saw her walking down the alley, but she didn't come over and lean/push on the garage door. They must have mentioned the cameras.

ChiefRocka · 02-09-2019, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SAUTO

I'm a people watcher.

I could tell a ton of hilarious stories.

Just in the past week I saw someone moving all their stuff. They put the toilet (who the hell moves the toilet with them?) right smack dab in the middle of the couch and strapped out all down.

Ive even got pictures.

When you’ve gone through that much shit together sometimes its tough the let go.

**Baby Lee** · 02-09-2019, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hog's Gone Fishin

We lost the coin toss!

LOL

Forward progress!!

oldman · 02-09-2019, 10:47 AM

There was a guy on my dad's crew that was the living embodiment of Albert King's "Born Under A Bad Sign". If there was any possible way something bad could happen, it'd happen to him. On top of that, he was real nervous.
So it came to pass that he had to repair a case of trouble in a bad neighborhood and was just ready to come down off the pole when a large dog appeared at the bottom. Usually you can yell or throw something at the damn thing and they'll run away long enough to get down, pick up what you threw at them and get out. Well, not this dog. He threw everything in his tool pouch except his handheld telephone (dumbell). So he calls my dad to come out and chase the dog away. In the meantime, the dog had awaked some of the local "entrepreneurs" and they weren't too happy since they thought poor Ollie might be tapping their phone, so out come the Glocks. Not good. Even after Ollie explained he was just fixing a phone, they were having none of it and couple shots were fired in his direction.
My dad, along with local law enforcement (it was a REAL bad neighborhood), arrived just in time to see Ollie unbelt and jump from the pole and behind a fence. Unfortunately, there was a pretty steep hill on the far side of the fence, so Ollie rolled down it, into the street, and the squad car rolled over his foot. Cops jump out, arrest some folks, and call an ambulance. They never did back all the tools since, in all the excitement, other locals gathered them all up. Like I said, it was a bad neighborhood.

**SAUTO** · 02-09-2019, 10:49 AM

One time lewdog made guacamole strips...

MVChiefFan · 02-09-2019, 03:31 PM

I was sitting by a new guy at a large staff meeting, one day. The guy speaking had three fingers missing. We also had two other guys that were missing a hand. While the fingerless guy was speaking about an upcoming luncheon, I leaned over and said to the new guy “there’s a lot of people missing their extremities around here”. Not five seconds later, the speaker said “we’ll be having finger foods”. The new guy literally laughed so loud that it just shut the meeting down. He couldn’t control it. I felt so bad for him, but it was ******* hilarious at the same time.

Rasputin · 02-09-2019, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bwana

They have a program here where you can send in a check and get your new tags through the mail and don't have to deal with the hell that is DMV lines. The exception is, if you get a different vehicle or you have had your plates for 5 years.

The 2nd one is a complete scam job. They claim after 5 years, the plate loses its reflectivity.,so you have to come and buy new ones.

Yeah, bullshit, it is obviously a revenue generating tool.

DenverChief · 02-09-2019, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KC Tattoo

DenverChief is full of shit. It is impossible to have a pleasant experience at the DMV.

Touche. Lol

DenverChief · 02-09-2019, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dayze

I once took my new ZX6R to the dealer for a quick chain adjustment. Guy tells me it’s ready to go and outside . I glance outside and I see it and a shop guy/mechanic kneeled over doing something. I thank the guy at the counter and proceed to my bike,

I get to my bike, and exchange some pleasantries with the mechanic guy, still crouched down at chain level of the bike. He was focuses, and we chatted back and forth while his face remained buried in his work. I inquire about how did he ensure the wheel was properly aligned with the front wheel, and chain etc.

No shit, hands still working as if he were milking a cow, and says “ah, it’s not too difficult.....” , the whips his head around “ You just eyeball it”

Then I noticed it.....this dude was cross eyed like a mother****er. Like Steve Buschemi in Mr Deeds.
like Dr Evil, I bit my lip and tried not to laugh. I’m not sure if this dude was serious, or just having some fun with me.

. I think he was messing with you. I know a guy at work that's a civilian technician that has a crazy lazy eye. I can never tell which eye to look at. Everyone you focus on one He looks at you with the other. It's like conversation ping pong - I think he likes doing it to **** with people.

DenverChief · 02-09-2019, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiTown

Just do what most Cops would do in that situation: pull out your nightstick and give him a beat down....

If I'm pulling out my nightstick there is only one area getting a beat down

DenverChief · 02-09-2019, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SAUTO

I'm a people watcher.

I could tell a ton of hilarious stories.

Just in the past week I saw someone moving all their stuff. They put the toilet (who the hell moves the toilet with them?) right smack dab in the middle of the couch and strapped out all down.

Ive even got pictures.

Wtf. People are weird.

DenverChief · 02-09-2019, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nzoner

Speaking of officers this true life story will be my best ever.

So this officer takes my flask and drink today

Sorry didn't mean to downvote that. Glad he didn't kick you out

stumppy · 02-09-2019, 08:07 PM

I stopped in a Walgrens looking for the only thing I ever found that would get rid of chiggers. Chigarid. Best thing I ever found to get rid of those itching mofos. Anyways, After looking for a few minutes without any luck, I walked up to this female employee who was just finishing up with talking to two older black women. She turns from them to me and I say 'Do you have any Chigarid here?' She got this surprised look on her face, looks back at the two black women then to me and said 'Pardon me' I said 'Chigarid,it's used to get rid of chiggers'. She gave a quick glance to the women then looked back at me, face turning red and said "No, No we don't have ANYTHING like THAT'.
She turned and kinda corralled the black women down the aisle away from me saying something about what they were looking for was down here.

Thats when I figured out what the problem was.

Edit: Never did find any Chigarid

**TinyEvel** · 02-09-2019, 08:39 PM

We were shooting a video for a client's national conference. A hype video interviewing customers about how much they loved the brand (It was a national ice cream parlor chain)

Well, they had just gone through a really big re-design converting a couple local locations into "THE STORE OF THE FUTURE" that was designed less like an ice cream shop and more like Starbucks, where you order at one counter and pick up your stuff at the other end of the counter. I thought that was dumb, since the best part of ordering ice cream is looking down into the flavor tubs -- who the hell wants to go order at a register at one end like Starbucks?

Well, they pick the location to shoot the video, and it's an older store over in Santa Monica.

I asked, 'Why aren't we shooting at the store of the future"

my client rep says...

"Because The Store of the Future is not the direction the company is headed."

02-08-2019, 09:22 PM
DenverChief MVP Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Rocky Ford Casino cash: $5869867	Funny true life stories. So yesterday I'm at the DMV getting new plates and some other miscellaneous vehicle registration stuff done. I'm in full uniform as I just got off duty and the DMV was on my way home. Everything went well the lady who helped me was pleasant and my trip in was fairly swift compared to the average trip to the DMV. I get up to leave and make my way towards the exit when an older male, possibly late 50s to early 60s in an electric wheelchair is coming towards me into the county office area. As we get closer we have the following exchange: Wheelchair guy: "Excuse me officer, can you tell me where I go to register my vehicle?" Me: "yeah, straight ahead through the wooden double doors." Wheelchair guy: "I'M BLIND!" I Almost fell over right there. Somewhere between stunned and and laughing my ass off at the response. Fortunately a county worker standing close to the door summoned him in the direction he needed to go without having to have any further exchange. I turned around and walked out wondering wtf just happened. It has been a long while since I have been surprised by someone, but this guy got me. Anyone have any funny stories work related or not to share?
Posts: 16,166

02-09-2019, 08:50 AM	#16
SAUTO Shit Join Date: Jun 2008 Casino cash: $10039067	I'm a people watcher. I could tell a ton of hilarious stories. Just in the past week I saw someone moving all their stuff. They put the toilet (who the hell moves the toilet with them?) right smack dab in the middle of the couch and strapped out all down. Ive even got pictures.
Posts: 55,715

02-09-2019, 09:01 AM	#17
Bwana It's Five O'Clock Somewhere Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Billings, Montana Casino cash: $2139463647	I had an uncomfortable experience this summer. I was reviewing security footage on two of my cameras one Saturday and there was this ragtag looking old hide loitering around my garage door out in the alley. She was smoking something and I couldn't tell if it was a vape, or a crack pipe. She was also leaning on the door and pushing on it. The young neighbor's to the west have security cameras as well and I noticed they were out in there back yard. I went over to the fence to give them a heads up about "some crazy lady hanging out in the alley." They asked what she looked like and after the description, my neighbor lady chimes in with, "that's my Mom, she's down visiting." I was like, "oh shit, I'm sorry about that." They both laughed and said, but she is kind of crazy!" It also turned out it was a vape pipe. They are fantastic neighbors, and took it very well. As a bonus, I saw "Mom" down visiting a couple extra times after that and saw her walking down the alley, but she didn't come over and lean/push on the garage door. They must have mentioned the cameras. __________________ Adventure is dangerous....but monotony can kill you.
Posts: 69,759	1 0

02-09-2019, 10:47 AM	#20
oldman Curmudgeon Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: North by Northwest Casino cash: $5836784	There was a guy on my dad's crew that was the living embodiment of Albert King's "Born Under A Bad Sign". If there was any possible way something bad could happen, it'd happen to him. On top of that, he was real nervous. So it came to pass that he had to repair a case of trouble in a bad neighborhood and was just ready to come down off the pole when a large dog appeared at the bottom. Usually you can yell or throw something at the damn thing and they'll run away long enough to get down, pick up what you threw at them and get out. Well, not this dog. He threw everything in his tool pouch except his handheld telephone (dumbell). So he calls my dad to come out and chase the dog away. In the meantime, the dog had awaked some of the local "entrepreneurs" and they weren't too happy since they thought poor Ollie might be tapping their phone, so out come the Glocks. Not good. Even after Ollie explained he was just fixing a phone, they were having none of it and couple shots were fired in his direction. My dad, along with local law enforcement (it was a REAL bad neighborhood), arrived just in time to see Ollie unbelt and jump from the pole and behind a fence. Unfortunately, there was a pretty steep hill on the far side of the fence, so Ollie rolled down it, into the street, and the squad car rolled over his foot. Cops jump out, arrest some folks, and call an ambulance. They never did back all the tools since, in all the excitement, other locals gathered them all up. Like I said, it was a bad neighborhood.
Posts: 5,319

02-09-2019, 10:49 AM	#21
SAUTO Shit Join Date: Jun 2008 Casino cash: $10039067	One time lewdog made guacamole strips...
Posts: 55,715

02-09-2019, 03:31 PM	#22
MVChiefFan Veteran Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Here Casino cash: $1524975	I was sitting by a new guy at a large staff meeting, one day. The guy speaking had three fingers missing. We also had two other guys that were missing a hand. While the fingerless guy was speaking about an upcoming luncheon, I leaned over and said to the new guy “there’s a lot of people missing their extremities around here”. Not five seconds later, the speaker said “we’ll be having finger foods”. The new guy literally laughed so loud that it just shut the meeting down. He couldn’t control it. I felt so bad for him, but it was ******* hilarious at the same time. __________________ I haven’t slept for ten days straight… because that would be way too long.
Posts: 3,488	1 0

02-09-2019, 08:07 PM	#29
stumppy New and Improved Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Springfield, Mo. Casino cash: $1408590	I stopped in a Walgrens looking for the only thing I ever found that would get rid of chiggers. Chigarid. Best thing I ever found to get rid of those itching mofos. Anyways, After looking for a few minutes without any luck, I walked up to this female employee who was just finishing up with talking to two older black women. She turns from them to me and I say 'Do you have any Chigarid here?' She got this surprised look on her face, looks back at the two black women then to me and said 'Pardon me' I said 'Chigarid,it's used to get rid of chiggers'. She gave a quick glance to the women then looked back at me, face turning red and said "No, No we don't have ANYTHING like THAT'. She turned and kinda corralled the black women down the aisle away from me saying something about what they were looking for was down here. Thats when I figured out what the problem was. Edit: Never did find any Chigarid __________________ “As a nation, we can endure damaging policies for a four-year term. But we cannot survive a president willing to terminate our Constitution”
Posts: 21,133

02-09-2019, 08:39 PM	#30
TinyEvel Just a li'l Evel Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Bald. Goatee. Jorts. Casino cash: $5367131	We were shooting a video for a client's national conference. A hype video interviewing customers about how much they loved the brand (It was a national ice cream parlor chain) Well, they had just gone through a really big re-design converting a couple local locations into "THE STORE OF THE FUTURE" that was designed less like an ice cream shop and more like Starbucks, where you order at one counter and pick up your stuff at the other end of the counter. I thought that was dumb, since the best part of ordering ice cream is looking down into the flavor tubs -- who the hell wants to go order at a register at one end like Starbucks? Well, they pick the location to shoot the video, and it's an older store over in Santa Monica. I asked, 'Why aren't we shooting at the store of the future" my client rep says... "Because The Store of the Future is not the direction the company is headed."
Posts: 11,813	1 0