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10-26-2021, 03:39 PM | #121 |
Diablo Negro
Join Date: Sep 2003
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10-26-2021, 03:57 PM | #122 |
MVP
Join Date: Jan 2017
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The only real option at this point is to give him a list of things he has to continue to do or move out. Status quo is unacceptable. The fact it has gotten to this point is water under the bridge, you can not go back and change it. Continuing on as is, is not going to be best for him in the long run.
So get a job or enroll in college/trade, pay x in rent (can put it in a bank account for him but needs to be responsible)... or hit the rode. give him a deadline and follow through with it. Even if you have to call the police for trespass. |
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10-26-2021, 03:58 PM | #123 |
The Maintenance Guy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Renovated Bugeater Estate
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I missed this...did the therapist suggest any type of treatment? If so, following it should be the basis for whether he stays or goes, and that needs to be laid out in no uncertain terms. I'm no mental health expert, but 2 things I've learned about it is the person suffering from it won't ever recognize it because they don't understand what it's like to feel normal, and they also don't understand the impact it has on those close to them. With that said, it's not easy to convince someone to seek out mental help. It's a tough situation and you and his mother need to stay strong and committed to it or he'll never get better.
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10-26-2021, 03:58 PM | #124 | |
MVP
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10-26-2021, 04:03 PM | #125 |
SuperChiefs
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Florida
Casino cash: $2259822
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Yep. Had to give my oldest and his girlfriend the boot. Absolutely no regrets
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10-26-2021, 04:07 PM | #126 | |
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS
Join Date: Aug 2000
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Quote:
I was respectful to people, however. Had I ever talked that way to my parents the way this kid did my dad would have beat me into a bloody pulp. He never did lay a hand on me, but he didn't have to. I remember one time during my senior year I copped an attitude with him and he said, "so, you think you're a man now?" He weighed about what I do now and I was probably about 130 soaking wet. My answer was a quick "no." |
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10-26-2021, 04:10 PM | #127 |
Would an idiot do that?
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Arizona
Casino cash: $2814931
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I think that's a good point regarding "parenting doesn't end at 18".... it doesn't end at kicking your kid out of the house and into the real world, either, and doesn't mean you're disowning your kid.... you're just forcing them to have some skin in the game.
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10-26-2021, 04:12 PM | #128 | |
SuperChiefs
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Florida
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I couldn't deal with his shit anymore and tossed his ass out after letting him and his girlfriend move in with me rent free. Finally at age 31 he seems to be getting his shit together some after screwing pretty much all of his family for years and everyone had cut him off. |
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10-26-2021, 04:18 PM | #129 | |
Would an idiot do that?
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Arizona
Casino cash: $2814931
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Quote:
It's one thing if the kid wants to be out on his own and simply doesn't have the structure or discipline... so those rules provide those. If not, it's a pointless exercise that IMO only makes the parents feel better about trying. |
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10-26-2021, 04:32 PM | #130 | |
Needs more middle fingers
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: San Diego
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Quote:
Like Mecca's boy not paying car insurance. He'll also lapse on his registration if he hasn't already. Because hey, when you're 19 y/o you think insurance is a pointless scam because you'll never need it because you're a great driver who will never be in an accident. And you have to pay your rent, utilities etc so you piss away your insurance as you think it's the least valuable bill Then, he'll inevitably get pulled over for no tags and no insurance and get his car impounded. At which point, he'll come crying to mommy and daddy about how he needs them to pay his impound fees because he needs a car to get to work. Maybe mommy and daddy bail him out. Then, he'll start driving on a suspended license because he didn't pay the fines from the first time he was pulled over. He'll get pulled over again, this time with a suspended license. Hey, the blood bank doesn't pay enough to cover those fines that have undoubtedly doubled because he ignored them. It's just a cycle of poor decisions and self destructive behavior that plays in a loop. Some people learn right away. Some people repeat over and over and over again until they figure it out. Some people never figure it out, and instead just give up.
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Life is like a dick. Sometimes it gets hard for no reason, but it can't stay hard forever. Last edited by ModSocks; 10-26-2021 at 04:40 PM.. |
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10-26-2021, 04:35 PM | #131 |
Draconian Warlord
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Drakonia
Casino cash: $9210755
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After my divorce, my son was too much for his mom to deal with...and he ended up living with me. After being kicked out of HS for marijuana, I had 2 rules. 1) get and keep a job. 2) Do not smoke anything in my house. He couldn't do either. Finally, he had his car towed from our condo by the management, he went berserk and slipped a threatening not into the Condo Managers mailbox. By then, I had custody of both him and his sister who was 2 years younger. My land lord said that either he left or we'd all be evicted.
He never kept a job over 2 months. When he left, it took weeks to clean his room. Cigarette butts everywhere, ashes all over and pot paraphernalia too. He couldn't respect 2 rules, and he couldn't chill. I had to kick him out. Now...6 years later...he is a hobo. Actually gets around the country, hopping freight trains. Pan handles for $$. But he seems to love that life. I have to help out occasionally but it's $30 to $100 every 5 to 6 months. I love my son. BUT, at some time, every one of us has to find their way. I will never stop caring, but I can't live life for him. Not sure that any of it helps, but sometimes kicking an adult child out doesn't bode well. But I can't, to this day, figure out what else I could have done. |
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10-26-2021, 04:50 PM | #132 | |
Rabbi Goldmann
Join Date: Nov 2012
Casino cash: $5450159
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Quote:
Times will never change when it comes to men disciplining their sons. I got my ass handed to me at 17 when I convinced my gf to ditch school so we could hang out at her house (her folks worked). We’d say we were sick or had DR appt or stupid crap - a private HS is a tight knit place where teachers figure stuff out quickly. I lied to them and my folks before it unraveled. Dad grounded me 3 months, took my car keys, banned me from the baseball team and mom took my private phone line. A couple days later the principal got me at lunch and wanted a word. Walked me to the library where prob 10 teachers were sitting. My dad was standing and said “You’ve got an apology to make”. The cherry on top was that night when he said “Bitch, you get your car back for one night tomorrow”. Really? “Yeah, you’re going over the Jenny’s house to apologize to her parents for disrespecting them. And you’re wearing your blazer and khakis”I can still remember ringing the doorbell and hearing her dad walk. I knew it was him becasue a man’s steps are slower, and heavier. I wanted to die. Moral of the story: Mecca needn’t worry about this kids “feelings” or psyche or depression or what may happen down the road. That’s the boys problem - only Mecca’s wife matters here. |
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10-26-2021, 05:03 PM | #133 | |
THIS .... IS... ARROWHEAD!!!!
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Houston, Tx
Casino cash: $4770400
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Sounds like you’ve enabled a pos
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10-26-2021, 05:03 PM | #134 |
Draconian Warlord
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Drakonia
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Just for reference...
Sent from my LM-X410(FG) using Tapatalk |
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10-26-2021, 05:07 PM | #135 |
Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2014
Casino cash: $3784900
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I would tell him he's got two options:
1. You'll pay for one year of vocational training (find a trade).... your rules curfew... no additional financial support... he can work a part-time job to help save some money (everyone is hiring). 2. He gets thrown out on his ass and he can do whatever he wants |
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