Hear ye, hear ye! The monkey trial is about to begin! - Page 9

**Rain Man** · 10-24-2006, 04:48 PM

As a long-time observer and poster on Chiefsplanet, I have noticed a wee bit of conflict recently between one Mecca and several other posters. The conflicts have been escalating, and I think it's time that the Chiefsplanet legal system stepped in.

I am declaring a monkey court to be put into place for the purpose of placing Mecca on trial. As a known neutral party, I shall serve as the judge for this trial. The charges are:

Charge 1. Treason in the first degree for predicting a poor season for the Chiefs.

Charge 2. Treason in the first degree for citing that the Geathers hit on Trent Green was innocent and non-fineworthy.

Charge 3. Treason in the first degree for citing that the Rolle face mask was not an act of evil visited upon a Chief by an opposing player.

Charge 4. Threats to kill other Chiefsplanet members in the interest of protecting animals.

Charge 5. General mayhem.

Additional charges may be filed by the prosecution before the trial begins.

By participating in the trial, all parties agree that the rulings of the court will stand, unless for some reason they don't want to listen to the court.

Over the course of the next few days, the following will take place.

1. Mecca may appoint a lawyer to represent him, or he may choose to represent himself. The lawyer need not be a real lawyer. He may also choose to have a larger defense team if he wishes, but the lead defender will be the only official voice.

2. The opposing side will choose a lawyer to represent them, or if none can be chosen, I shall select one. The lawyer need not be a real lawyer. Might I suggest that candidates nominate themselves in this thread, and I will then create a poll, with the largest votegetter being selected as lead prosecutor. The prosecution may also choose to have a larger prosecution team, but the lead prosecutor will be the only official voice.

3. I will request volunteers with possible actual legal experience to serve as my backroom legal team in running the trial. Any attorneys want to volunteer for this task? You cannot be part of the prosecution or defense, or be a potential witness for either side.

4. A random selection of Chiefsplanet members with more than 500 posts will be solicited for jury duty. We will then work with the prosecution and the defense to select the jury.

5. Then...the trial begins.

I would advise both sides to begin preparing their legal teams immediately. Jury selection will begin later this week.

(Banging Gavel)

JBucc · 10-25-2006, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FAX

I don't think Mr. Mecca can get a fair trial in this venue. He's been publicly besmirched on this board and I'm not sure you can seat an impartial jury here.

It's probably best that this trial be moved to the Mange.

FAX

That wouldn't be fair either really, since they all hate the chiefs as much as Mecca they'd probably side with him.

Oops I supposed to be defending him aren't I.

**Rain Man** · 10-25-2006, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JBucc

My entry.

Unfortunately, since you have already expressed an interest in serving the defense, I must decline so as to avoid any allegations of bribery.

**Rain Man** · 10-25-2006, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luv

Is there anyway to keep the trial updated in the Topic Starter? I'm guilty of hating to read all the way back through long threads. Has this trial even gotten under way yet? Defense? Prosecution? Jurors?

We are still in the pre-trial media circus phase. Updates will take place as key events occur.

**luv** · 10-25-2006, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

We are still in the pre-trial media circus phase. Updates will take place as key events occur.

Appreciated.

**Rain Man** · 10-25-2006, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FAX

I don't think Mr. Mecca can get a fair trial in this venue. He's been publicly besmirched on this board and I'm not sure you can seat an impartial jury here.

It's probably best that this trial be moved to the Mange.

FAX

Motion denied. It is unlikely that we will find a less knowledgeable population elsewhere.

trndobrd · 10-25-2006, 10:56 AM

I am happy to offer my services as Judge Rain Man's law clerk. I can research the stickiest of legal questions, and find the most obscure case law. I also make a great cup of coffee and can replace the toner cartridge in the copier.

Most importantly, I know to keep my mouth shut when the Judge is in chambers "reviewing transcripts" with that blonde court reporter from the 4th floor.

patteeu · 10-25-2006, 11:05 AM

If the court successfully convicts Mecca on the assorted treason charges can it look into the activities of a longtime poster who ought to change his username from Logical to Tokyo Rose Chief?

**Rain Man** · 10-25-2006, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trndobrd

I am happy to offer my services as Judge Rain Man's law clerk. I can research the stickiest of legal questions, and find the most obscure case law. I also make a great cup of coffee and can replace the toner cartridge in the copier.

Most importantly, I know to keep my mouth shut when the Judge is in chambers "reviewing transcripts" with that blonde court reporter from the 4th floor.

You're hired.

Now go make some copies of these transcripts. Redheaded copies.

**Rain Man** · 10-25-2006, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by patteeu

If the court successfully convicts Mecca on the assorted treason charges can it look into the activities of a longtime poster who ought to change his username from Logical to Tokyo Rose Chief?

Any case may be brought before the court, other than cases of bribing judges.

**banyon** · 10-25-2006, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trndobrd

I am happy to offer my services as Judge Rain Man's law clerk. I can research the stickiest of legal questions, and find the most obscure case law. I also make a great cup of coffee and can replace the toner cartridge in the copier.

Most importantly, I know to keep my mouth shut when the Judge is in chambers "reviewing transcripts" with that blonde court reporter from the 4th floor.

I can volunteer as "Assistant law clerk".

I believe trndobrd has the edge on me in experience.

trndobrd · 10-25-2006, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by banyon

I can volunteer as "Assistant law clerk".

I believe trndobrd has the edge on me in experience.

You're hired.

Now go make some copies of these transcripts. Redheaded copies.

**Rain Man** · 10-25-2006, 01:29 PM

trndobrd has already taken work off my hands. Best damn law clerk I've ever had.

**banyon** · 10-25-2006, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trndobrd

You're hired.

Now go make some copies of these transcripts. Redheaded copies.

Redheads , eh?

Me too.

Stewie · 10-25-2006, 04:23 PM

My kinda judge...

SPchief · 10-25-2006, 04:28 PM

So when do I start?

10-24-2006, 04:48 PM
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3158491 VARSITY	Hear ye, hear ye! The monkey trial is about to begin! As a long-time observer and poster on Chiefsplanet, I have noticed a wee bit of conflict recently between one Mecca and several other posters. The conflicts have been escalating, and I think it's time that the Chiefsplanet legal system stepped in. I am declaring a monkey court to be put into place for the purpose of placing Mecca on trial. As a known neutral party, I shall serve as the judge for this trial. The charges are: Charge 1. Treason in the first degree for predicting a poor season for the Chiefs. Charge 2. Treason in the first degree for citing that the Geathers hit on Trent Green was innocent and non-fineworthy. Charge 3. Treason in the first degree for citing that the Rolle face mask was not an act of evil visited upon a Chief by an opposing player. Charge 4. Threats to kill other Chiefsplanet members in the interest of protecting animals. Charge 5. General mayhem. Additional charges may be filed by the prosecution before the trial begins. By participating in the trial, all parties agree that the rulings of the court will stand, unless for some reason they don't want to listen to the court. Over the course of the next few days, the following will take place. 1. Mecca may appoint a lawyer to represent him, or he may choose to represent himself. The lawyer need not be a real lawyer. He may also choose to have a larger defense team if he wishes, but the lead defender will be the only official voice. 2. The opposing side will choose a lawyer to represent them, or if none can be chosen, I shall select one. The lawyer need not be a real lawyer. Might I suggest that candidates nominate themselves in this thread, and I will then create a poll, with the largest votegetter being selected as lead prosecutor. The prosecution may also choose to have a larger prosecution team, but the lead prosecutor will be the only official voice. 3. I will request volunteers with possible actual legal experience to serve as my backroom legal team in running the trial. Any attorneys want to volunteer for this task? You cannot be part of the prosecution or defense, or be a potential witness for either side. 4. A random selection of Chiefsplanet members with more than 500 posts will be solicited for jury duty. We will then work with the prosecution and the defense to select the jury. 5. Then...the trial begins. I would advise both sides to begin preparing their legal teams immediately. Jury selection will begin later this week. (Banging Gavel)
Posts: 141,577

10-25-2006, 10:56 AM	#126
trndobrd 'Stachecicle Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: The Tolerance Box Casino cash: $4835087	I am happy to offer my services as Judge Rain Man's law clerk. I can research the stickiest of legal questions, and find the most obscure case law. I also make a great cup of coffee and can replace the toner cartridge in the copier. Most importantly, I know to keep my mouth shut when the Judge is in chambers "reviewing transcripts" with that blonde court reporter from the 4th floor. __________________ "I don't really think there is a need to raise or debate this point." -jAZ
Posts: 7,081

10-25-2006, 11:05 AM	#127
patteeu The 23rd Pillar Join Date: Sep 2002 Casino cash: $10019237	If the court successfully convicts Mecca on the assorted treason charges can it look into the activities of a longtime poster who ought to change his username from Logical to Tokyo Rose Chief? __________________ “Boy, you all want power. God, I hope you never get it.” - Lindsay Graham
Posts: 110,871

10-25-2006, 01:29 PM	#132
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3158491 VARSITY	trndobrd has already taken work off my hands. Best damn law clerk I've ever had. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,577

10-25-2006, 04:23 PM	#134
Stewie MVP Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: West of the Equator Casino cash: $1749901	My kinda judge... Attached Thumbnails
Posts: 13,623

10-25-2006, 04:28 PM	#135
SPchief In Search of a Life Join Date: Feb 2004 Casino cash: $1682905	So when do I start? __________________ http://give.somo.org/site/TR/Plunge/...nal&fr_id=1244 ^^^^^^^^^^ Click here to help with a special cause. Please help me out
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