Hear ye, hear ye! The monkey trial is about to begin! - Page 8

**Rain Man** · 10-24-2006, 04:48 PM

As a long-time observer and poster on Chiefsplanet, I have noticed a wee bit of conflict recently between one Mecca and several other posters. The conflicts have been escalating, and I think it's time that the Chiefsplanet legal system stepped in.

I am declaring a monkey court to be put into place for the purpose of placing Mecca on trial. As a known neutral party, I shall serve as the judge for this trial. The charges are:

Charge 1. Treason in the first degree for predicting a poor season for the Chiefs.

Charge 2. Treason in the first degree for citing that the Geathers hit on Trent Green was innocent and non-fineworthy.

Charge 3. Treason in the first degree for citing that the Rolle face mask was not an act of evil visited upon a Chief by an opposing player.

Charge 4. Threats to kill other Chiefsplanet members in the interest of protecting animals.

Charge 5. General mayhem.

Additional charges may be filed by the prosecution before the trial begins.

By participating in the trial, all parties agree that the rulings of the court will stand, unless for some reason they don't want to listen to the court.

Over the course of the next few days, the following will take place.

1. Mecca may appoint a lawyer to represent him, or he may choose to represent himself. The lawyer need not be a real lawyer. He may also choose to have a larger defense team if he wishes, but the lead defender will be the only official voice.

2. The opposing side will choose a lawyer to represent them, or if none can be chosen, I shall select one. The lawyer need not be a real lawyer. Might I suggest that candidates nominate themselves in this thread, and I will then create a poll, with the largest votegetter being selected as lead prosecutor. The prosecution may also choose to have a larger prosecution team, but the lead prosecutor will be the only official voice.

3. I will request volunteers with possible actual legal experience to serve as my backroom legal team in running the trial. Any attorneys want to volunteer for this task? You cannot be part of the prosecution or defense, or be a potential witness for either side.

4. A random selection of Chiefsplanet members with more than 500 posts will be solicited for jury duty. We will then work with the prosecution and the defense to select the jury.

5. Then...the trial begins.

I would advise both sides to begin preparing their legal teams immediately. Jury selection will begin later this week.

(Banging Gavel)

greg63 · 10-25-2006, 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcchiefsguru

On this board? Just plain stoopidity!

Yeah, I've learned to admit nothing.

chagrin · 10-25-2006, 04:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyV13

Of course, I also was the one that got QT to come here, so you need to take that into consideration

gee, thanks

**ExtremeChief** · 10-25-2006, 06:40 AM

I saw a monkey at the zoo once, so I don't think I can be impartial and therefore shouldn't be in the jury pool. Plus, I can't swim very well. So it's just a bad idea all around.

Halfcan · 10-25-2006, 06:51 AM

Guilty of all charges!

Stewie · 10-25-2006, 07:16 AM

I’m way short of the required posts to be involved. I’ve only been here a week. Hmmm… maybe I’ll go post more Brazilian babes or other women with nice asses/big tits to get my postings to the legal limit. I do have excellent qualifications though. Here’s a list:

1) I’m a team player. I love others as much as I love myself, except without the intense physical attraction.
2) I speak 15 languages including the African one with the clicking sound.
3) I’m a natural born leader. People follow me everywhere I go, and they watch me, too. Some people say I’m paranoid, but no, that’s leadership.
4) I display ethical behavior. I would never exaggerate my accomplishments.
5) I have high standards. They are so high, in fact, that I despise the worthless laggards around me.
6) I have high expectations. I have the expressed goal of evolving into pure energy and becoming the supreme overlord of the universe.

Wait, I’m too good to be a juror. **** it. Back to checking out the babes and seeing if Eli Manning's bruised ovaries are getting any better.

**Rain Man** · 10-25-2006, 08:37 AM

(Banging gavel)

I'm tied up on another case today, so let the deliberations about counsel and the jury volunteering continue for another day. We will then begin proceedings.

Also, can someone please make me a stick man avatar with a judge's wig and gavel? I want to maintain proper decorum.

**Bwana** · 10-25-2006, 08:44 AM

Pennywise · 10-25-2006, 08:51 AM

Please refrain from using the penis pump under the bench again Judge.

**Rain Man** · 10-25-2006, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PennyWise

Please refrain from using the penis pump under the bench again Judge.

You're (psssh, psssh) looking at a (psssh, psssh) contempt charge there, young man (psssh, psssh).

C-Mac · 10-25-2006, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

(Banging gavel)
Also, can someone please make me a stick man avatar with a judge's wig and gavel? I want to maintain proper decorum.

**Rain Man** · 10-25-2006, 10:09 AM

Rep. You may have a "get out of jail free" card in my courtroom.

**Bowser** · 10-25-2006, 10:16 AM

I probably bring nothing of value to this trial. So, what do you want me to do, Your Honor?

(we really need to have a Judge Smails sighting)

JBucc · 10-25-2006, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

(Banging gavel)

I'm tied up on another case today, so let the deliberations about counsel and the jury volunteering continue for another day. We will then begin proceedings.

Also, can someone please make me a stick man avatar with a judge's wig and gavel? I want to maintain proper decorum.

My entry.

**luv** · 10-25-2006, 10:24 AM

Is there anyway to keep the trial updated in the Topic Starter? I'm guilty of hating to read all the way back through long threads. Has this trial even gotten under way yet? Defense? Prosecution? Jurors?

FAX · 10-25-2006, 10:27 AM

I don't think Mr. Mecca can get a fair trial in this venue. He's been publicly besmirched on this board and I'm not sure you can seat an impartial jury here.

It's probably best that this trial be moved to the Mange.

FAX

10-24-2006, 04:48 PM
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3308491 VARSITY	Hear ye, hear ye! The monkey trial is about to begin! As a long-time observer and poster on Chiefsplanet, I have noticed a wee bit of conflict recently between one Mecca and several other posters. The conflicts have been escalating, and I think it's time that the Chiefsplanet legal system stepped in. I am declaring a monkey court to be put into place for the purpose of placing Mecca on trial. As a known neutral party, I shall serve as the judge for this trial. The charges are: Charge 1. Treason in the first degree for predicting a poor season for the Chiefs. Charge 2. Treason in the first degree for citing that the Geathers hit on Trent Green was innocent and non-fineworthy. Charge 3. Treason in the first degree for citing that the Rolle face mask was not an act of evil visited upon a Chief by an opposing player. Charge 4. Threats to kill other Chiefsplanet members in the interest of protecting animals. Charge 5. General mayhem. Additional charges may be filed by the prosecution before the trial begins. By participating in the trial, all parties agree that the rulings of the court will stand, unless for some reason they don't want to listen to the court. Over the course of the next few days, the following will take place. 1. Mecca may appoint a lawyer to represent him, or he may choose to represent himself. The lawyer need not be a real lawyer. He may also choose to have a larger defense team if he wishes, but the lead defender will be the only official voice. 2. The opposing side will choose a lawyer to represent them, or if none can be chosen, I shall select one. The lawyer need not be a real lawyer. Might I suggest that candidates nominate themselves in this thread, and I will then create a poll, with the largest votegetter being selected as lead prosecutor. The prosecution may also choose to have a larger prosecution team, but the lead prosecutor will be the only official voice. 3. I will request volunteers with possible actual legal experience to serve as my backroom legal team in running the trial. Any attorneys want to volunteer for this task? You cannot be part of the prosecution or defense, or be a potential witness for either side. 4. A random selection of Chiefsplanet members with more than 500 posts will be solicited for jury duty. We will then work with the prosecution and the defense to select the jury. 5. Then...the trial begins. I would advise both sides to begin preparing their legal teams immediately. Jury selection will begin later this week. (Banging Gavel)
Posts: 141,433

10-25-2006, 06:40 AM	#108
ExtremeChief Poser Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: BFE, MO Casino cash: $9991344	I saw a monkey at the zoo once, so I don't think I can be impartial and therefore shouldn't be in the jury pool. Plus, I can't swim very well. So it's just a bad idea all around.
Posts: 2,354

10-25-2006, 06:51 AM	#109
Halfcan In Search of a Life Join Date: Aug 2005 Casino cash: $7327995	Guilty of all charges!
Posts: 43,200

10-25-2006, 07:16 AM	#110
Stewie MVP Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: West of the Equator Casino cash: $1899901	I’m way short of the required posts to be involved. I’ve only been here a week. Hmmm… maybe I’ll go post more Brazilian babes or other women with nice asses/big tits to get my postings to the legal limit. I do have excellent qualifications though. Here’s a list: 1) I’m a team player. I love others as much as I love myself, except without the intense physical attraction. 2) I speak 15 languages including the African one with the clicking sound. 3) I’m a natural born leader. People follow me everywhere I go, and they watch me, too. Some people say I’m paranoid, but no, that’s leadership. 4) I display ethical behavior. I would never exaggerate my accomplishments. 5) I have high standards. They are so high, in fact, that I despise the worthless laggards around me. 6) I have high expectations. I have the expressed goal of evolving into pure energy and becoming the supreme overlord of the universe. Wait, I’m too good to be a juror. **** it. Back to checking out the babes and seeing if Eli Manning's bruised ovaries are getting any better.
Posts: 13,606

10-25-2006, 08:37 AM	#111
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3308491 VARSITY	(Banging gavel) I'm tied up on another case today, so let the deliberations about counsel and the jury volunteering continue for another day. We will then begin proceedings. Also, can someone please make me a stick man avatar with a judge's wig and gavel? I want to maintain proper decorum. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,433

10-25-2006, 08:44 AM	#112
Bwana It's Five O'Clock Somewhere Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Billings, Montana Casino cash: $2139533647	Heh Attached Thumbnails
Posts: 69,740

10-25-2006, 08:51 AM	#113
Pennywise pew pew madafakas Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Derry, Maine Casino cash: $1994400	Please refrain from using the penis pump under the bench again Judge. __________________
Posts: 7,777

10-25-2006, 10:09 AM	#116
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3308491 VARSITY	Rep. You may have a "get out of jail free" card in my courtroom. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,433

10-25-2006, 10:16 AM	#117
Bowser sorta mod-ish Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: KC North Casino cash: $3431616	I probably bring nothing of value to this trial. So, what do you want me to do, Your Honor? (we really need to have a Judge Smails sighting)
Posts: 100,684

10-25-2006, 10:24 AM	#119
luv MY LITTLE #15 Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Springfield, MO Casino cash: $6239600	Is there anyway to keep the trial updated in the Topic Starter? I'm guilty of hating to read all the way back through long threads. Has this trial even gotten under way yet? Defense? Prosecution? Jurors?
Posts: 63,427

10-25-2006, 10:27 AM	#120
FAX testing ... 1, 2, 3 Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Tennessee Casino cash: $6753759	I don't think Mr. Mecca can get a fair trial in this venue. He's been publicly besmirched on this board and I'm not sure you can seat an impartial jury here. It's probably best that this trial be moved to the Mange. FAX
Posts: 44,492