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Old 12-28-2013, 07:12 AM  
R8RFAN R8RFAN is offline
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No beer led to ceramic squirrel stabbing

NORTH CHARLESTON, S.C. (AP) - South Carolina authorities say a 44-year-old woman angry at a man for returning home without beer on Christmas beat and stabbed him with a ceramic squirrel.

The Charleston County Sheriff's office says in a report that deputies found a man covered with blood when they arrived at Helen Williams' North Charleston home early Wednesday. She told investigators the man fell and cut himself, but couldn't explain why her hands and clothes were also bloody.

Deputies say the man said Williams was so angry when he returned without beer because stores were closed on Christmas Eve that she grabbed a ceramic squirrel, beat him in the head, then stabbed him in the shoulder and chest.

Williams was in jail Friday and charged with criminal domestic violence. It wasn't known if she had a lawyer.

http://www.myfoxdc.com/story/2431596...#ixzz2oie6Ua8p
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Old 12-28-2013, 07:15 AM   #2
threebag threebag is offline
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Old 12-28-2013, 07:22 AM   #3
R8RFAN R8RFAN is offline
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I bet he won't be stabbing her squirrel for a while either
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Old 12-28-2013, 07:24 AM   #4
BlackHelicopters BlackHelicopters is offline
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Old 12-28-2013, 07:50 AM   #5
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Imagine what she would have done to him if he also forgot to pick up apple fritters. She would have shot him and put him through a wood chipper.
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Old 12-28-2013, 07:57 AM   #6
BlackHelicopters BlackHelicopters is offline
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Imagine what she would have done to him if he also forgot to pick up apple fritters. She would have shot him and put him through a wood chipper.
Cross thread and Fargo kudos.
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Old 12-28-2013, 08:04 AM   #7
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"So yeah he didn't bring any beer home, even though I told him to at least twice earlier.

So one thing led to another and I stabbed him with that ugly ****ing ceramic squirrel he got me for Christmas."
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Old 12-28-2013, 08:07 AM   #8
BlackHelicopters BlackHelicopters is offline
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Do squirrels know about fellatio?
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Old 12-28-2013, 08:22 AM   #9
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So that's where my neighbors moved to. Their guinea fowl alarm system won't be missed.
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Old 12-28-2013, 08:40 AM   #10
R8RFAN R8RFAN is offline
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So that's where my neighbors moved to. Their guinea fowl alarm system won't be missed.
Charleston SC is yankee hell...
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Old 12-28-2013, 09:26 AM   #11
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We need to ban assault ceramic squirrels.
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Old 12-28-2013, 09:36 AM   #12
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