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View Poll Results: What is the Worst Kind of Shit?
Explosive, foaming diarrhea 25 25.77%
Tarry earthworm craps 7 7.22%
Creamy peanut butter poops 20 20.62%
Asshole stretching bowling ball shits 20 20.62%
Premature breakers 7 7.22%
Incomplete evacuation 14 14.43%
False alarm dumps. All farts, no dirt. 4 4.12%
Voters: 97. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 03-19-2014, 09:19 PM  
'Hamas' Jenkins 'Hamas' Jenkins is offline
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What is the Worst Kind of Shit?
Please support your response with relevant examples.
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Old 03-20-2014, 07:23 AM   #61
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This one is on my bucket-list.
I want to poop under water sometime
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Old 03-20-2014, 08:06 AM   #62
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bloody ulcer shit

about 15 years ago. spent the weekend playing in a softball tourney. after 3 games we all decided to go grab a bite. since we were all filthy, the group decided on taco ****in bell.

everyone ordered but me...my guts and been rumbling for awhile and didn't want to take a chance of eating anything. while sitting w/the group, my stomach started rolling pretty bad, and I was kinda dizzy. so, I head to the shitter and sat down to let it rip. good grief, it was mostly all blood. I thought, "this shit aint good", and really started getting dizzy.

I decided to just walk out to the car and wait for the wife there. no sense in walking back to the table and announcing I'm shitting blood while the others are right in the middle of their burritos, so I staggered out the door. took about 3 steps outside and passed out in the parking lot. wallered around and was able to crawl over to the car and get in. after awhile, the wife came out, saw my condition and took me over to the e.r.

while my wife was in one room filling out forms, I stood against the wall trying to keep from falling over. all of a sudden, my guts started screaming again. slowly, my legs slid out from under me and I dropped to the floor. I couldn't friggin move, and I knew I was about to shit myself...and I did.

nurse stuck her head out the door and said, "mr. sec, you're next...oh my, what are you doing down there?"

I said, "I think I just shit myself."

so, they get me up and take me to the back room and stripped me down to hose me off. everyone in the e.r. was gagging. worst smelling shit ever for about 4 days. plus they wouldn't let me shit in a flushing stool...they had to keep checking it for blood. poor nurses earned their money that time.

sec
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Old 03-20-2014, 09:58 AM   #63
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I hate when I step out of the shower and the strong urge to shit hits me at full force
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Old 03-20-2014, 10:09 AM   #64
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Originally Posted by KCtotheSB View Post
Worst? The shit of 1001 wipes. The kinds of shits where no matter how much you wipe your ass, you just. Can't. Seem. To. Get. Your. Asshole. CLEAN!

On the opposite end of the spectrum is the clean poopie, where you wipe once, see nothing on the paper, and give a quick fist pump.
When I was married I'd use my wife's bidet in times like that. Sounds gay but damn it works.I'm half thinking of putting one in a guest bathroom...
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Old 03-20-2014, 10:15 AM   #65
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I hate the kind where it's like you're peeing out of your butt and after several trips wiping becomes like the prison scene in American History X.
This was me on St. Patrick's day
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Old 03-20-2014, 10:46 AM   #66
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It happens during heterosexual intercourse as well, but I don't judge if your first instinct is about same sex loving.
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Old 03-20-2014, 10:59 AM   #67
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Creamy peanut butter poops are undoubtedly the worst. You'll take one of these poops and if you are as neurotic as I am when it comes to having a clean bunghole, you will wipe your buns like 7 times before finally having clean toilet paper. And to make this one the "cream of the crop" in terms of worst poops is the fact that you will walk around a little bit or just...I dunno, move around or stray away from the computer or something and you will immediately feel the need to go to the bathroom just to wipe your buns again. This happens like every 30 minutes or so following the poop and will last until you take your next "non creamy peanut butter" poop pushes the creamy poop out.
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Old 03-20-2014, 11:03 AM   #68
vailpass vailpass is offline
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Creamy peanut butter poops are undoubtedly the worst. You'll take one of these poops and if you are as neurotic as I am when it comes to having a clean bunghole, you will wipe your buns like 7 times before finally having clean toilet paper. And to make this one the "cream of the crop" in terms of worst poops is the fact that you will walk around a little bit or just...I dunno, move around or stray away from the computer or something and you will immediately feel the need to go to the bathroom just to wipe your buns again. This happens like every 30 minutes or so following the poop and will last until you take your next "non creamy peanut butter" poop pushes the creamy poop out.
You need to keep a thing of moist wipies in your bathroom...
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Old 03-20-2014, 11:07 AM   #69
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Originally Posted by rico View Post
Creamy peanut butter poops are undoubtedly the worst. You'll take one of these poops and if you are as neurotic as I am when it comes to having a clean bunghole, you will wipe your buns like 7 times before finally having clean toilet paper. And to make this one the "cream of the crop" in terms of worst poops is the fact that you will walk around a little bit or just...I dunno, move around or stray away from the computer or something and you will immediately feel the need to go to the bathroom just to wipe your buns again. This happens like every 30 minutes or so following the poop and will last until you take your next "non creamy peanut butter" poop pushes the creamy poop out.
That itchy "not so fresh" feeling. Turrible.
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Old 03-20-2014, 11:14 AM   #70
rico rico is offline
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You need to keep a thing of moist wipies in your bathroom...
I know. My parents did that and I keep forgetting to pick those up whenever I'm at Target.
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Old 03-20-2014, 11:15 AM   #71
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That itchy "not so fresh" feeling. Turrible.
It's just awful. Especially if you are in a situation where you can't just sprint to the bathroom to alleviate the turrible-ness.
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Old 03-20-2014, 11:16 AM   #72
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I know. My parents did that and I keep forgetting to pick those up whenever I'm at Target.
I keep them for my female guests but I'm not afraid to use as needed. Just be sure to get the flushable kind...
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Old 03-20-2014, 11:23 AM   #73
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Originally Posted by KCtotheSB View Post
Worst? The shit of 1001 wipes. The kinds of shits where no matter how much you wipe your ass, you just. Can't. Seem. To. Get. Your. Asshole. CLEAN!

On the opposite end of the spectrum is the clean poopie, where you wipe once, see nothing on the paper, and give a quick fist pump.
Thread over. The 2nd example is a clean breaker. PM simply or I for tips.
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Old 03-20-2014, 11:25 AM   #74
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When I was married I'd use my wife's bidet in times like that. Sounds gay but damn it works.I'm half thinking of putting one in a guest bathroom...
My mother has a super fancy Japanese toilet thing that does everything. Warms, wets, dries, powdered, hand job. That is far too complicated for me.

But I would so install a nice urinal in a well used bathroom.
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Old 03-20-2014, 11:27 AM   #75
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My mother has a super fancy Japanese toilet thing that does everything. Warms, wets, dries, powdered, hand job. That is far too complicated for me.
I'm pretty sure you could pull off the handy.

And the Japanese are very diverse in their poops.

Everything from squat-n-grunt to complete pampering...
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