Life Other women.

Micjones · 01-09-2012, 11:29 AM

I had a discussion last night with my girlfriend about a relationship dilemma one of her closest friends is faced with. These kinds of conversations often serve as firestarters. If a man is too candid he can often represent an opinion that will be superimposed onto his own relationship.

So the two of us were talking about the process of a man "settling down".

I told her about a song I'd been listening to that gives the male perspective of this process. A skit preceded the song. In that skit a man lays out his account of how men always wrestle with the urge to sleep with other women. It was an "inside" conversation. The language was brash, but it was something most men could identify and stand in agreement with. Needless to say, she was repulsed by the idea that men are often desirous of other women. So now I'm in an odd position of having to answer to her about my own desires. I think women have these heart-warming ideas that a man who has committed himself to her no longer has an eye for other women. I think that's patently false.

Gents when you settled down to a monogamous relationship...
Was that a by-product of having sewn your oats or are you simply managing the urge to sleep with other women?

In taking to older male friends I've been told time and time again that the desire to be with other women never goes away...you just manage it for fidelity's sake.

True or false?

Sofa King · 01-09-2012, 11:33 AM

Micjones · 01-09-2012, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sofa King

To some degree this is dead on.
I thought I could have a grown up conversation with my lady and be candid about what men go through.
Now I realize that one other part of making a relationship work is lying to keep the peace.

**DaKCMan AP** · 01-09-2012, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Micjones

To some degree this is dead on.
I thought I could have a grown up conversation with my lady and be candid about what men go through.
Now I realize that one other part of making a relationship work is lying to keep the peace.

Not blabbering & lying aren't the same thing.

Micjones · 01-09-2012, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaKCMan AP

Not blabbering & lying aren't the same thing.

True story.

I just wanna be able to speak candidly about my true feelings without incriminating myself in some indirect way. But that comes at a price I 'spose.

aturnis · 01-09-2012, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaKCMan AP

Not blabbering & lying aren't the same thing.

Bullshit. You don't Look at other women? Riiiiight. Bet you stop watching porn altogether too, but huh?

**DaKCMan AP** · 01-09-2012, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aturnis

Bullshit. You don't Look at other women? Riiiiight. Bet you stop watching porn altogether too, but huh?

Where did I say I don't look at other women? Seeing a woman and noticing/acknowledging she's attractive is not the same thing as desiring to bang her.

durtyrute · 01-09-2012, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Micjones

To some degree this is dead on.
I thought I could have a grown up conversation with my lady and be candid about what men go through.
Now I realize that one other part of making a relationship work is lying to keep the peace.

That is almost rule number one. It sucks because they tell you "just be honest, all I want is honesty" Then one day they ask if you think their friend is hot, you say yea, and it's on like donky kong. They want the fairytale. They can't handle the fact that most men love to look at, dream about and picture themselves ****ing other women.

Micjones · 01-09-2012, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by durtyrute

That is almost rule number one. It sucks because they tell you "just be honest, all I want is honesty" Then one day they ask if you think their friend is hot, you say yea, and it's on like donky kong. They want the fairytale. They can't handle the fact that most men love to look at, dream about and picture themselves ****ing other women.

If that were the situation I'd been in it'd be different.
Because that would be giving my personal opinion of my own tastes in women.

This wasn't even about my personal views.
This was about another guy (and girl) entirely.

I wish I could talk to this guy...I'd call him an asshole for getting ME in trouble!

durtyrute · 01-09-2012, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Micjones

If that were the situation I'd been in it'd be different.
Because that would be giving my personal opinion of my own tastes in women.

This wasn't even about my personal views.
This was about another guy (and girl) entirely.

I wish I could talk to this guy...I'd call him an asshole for getting ME in trouble!

Psyko Tek · 01-09-2012, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Micjones

To some degree this is dead on.
I thought I could have a grown up conversation with my lady and be candid about what men go through.
Now I realize that one other part of making a relationship work is lying to keep the peace.

today you are a man

Micjones · 01-09-2012, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psyko Tek

today you are a man

I just hate having to do that.

**DaKCMan AP** · 01-09-2012, 11:33 AM

When I'm in a monogamous, committed relationship I don't desire to be with other women, only the one I'm with. That being said, my past relationship haven't been 'long-term' and I haven't "settled down" so..

That being said, telling a woman you're with that you desire to be with other women when you're not looking to end your current relationship is not very intelligent.

ThaVirus · 01-09-2012, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaKCMan AP

When I'm in a monogamous, committed relationship I don't desire to be with other women, only the one I'm with. That being said, my past relationship haven't been 'long-term' and I haven't "settled down" so..

That being said, telling a woman you're with that you desire to be with other women when you're not looking to end your current relationship is not very intelligent.

That being said, you sound like a pretty good dude.

That being said, I agree.

Micjones · 01-09-2012, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaKCMan AP

That being said, telling a woman you're with that you desire to be with other women when you're not looking to end your current relationship is not very intelligent.

Not quite how I said it.
In fact, I never said a word about my own struggle.
I was speaking about men in general.

01-09-2012, 11:29 AM	Topic Starter
Micjones Whose house? Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: KCMO Casino cash: $10005180	Other women. I had a discussion last night with my girlfriend about a relationship dilemma one of her closest friends is faced with. These kinds of conversations often serve as firestarters. If a man is too candid he can often represent an opinion that will be superimposed onto his own relationship. So the two of us were talking about the process of a man "settling down". I told her about a song I'd been listening to that gives the male perspective of this process. A skit preceded the song. In that skit a man lays out his account of how men always wrestle with the urge to sleep with other women. It was an "inside" conversation. The language was brash, but it was something most men could identify and stand in agreement with. Needless to say, she was repulsed by the idea that men are often desirous of other women. So now I'm in an odd position of having to answer to her about my own desires. I think women have these heart-warming ideas that a man who has committed himself to her no longer has an eye for other women. I think that's patently false. Gents when you settled down to a monogamous relationship... Was that a by-product of having sewn your oats or are you simply managing the urge to sleep with other women? In taking to older male friends I've been told time and time again that the desire to be with other women never goes away...you just manage it for fidelity's sake. True or false?
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01-09-2012, 11:33 AM	#2
Sofa King Bump it Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: South Dakota Casino cash: $-230000 VARSITY
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01-09-2012, 11:33 AM	#13
DaKCMan AP Beloved & Awesome CP Celebrity Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Florida Casino cash: $5634952	When I'm in a monogamous, committed relationship I don't desire to be with other women, only the one I'm with. That being said, my past relationship haven't been 'long-term' and I haven't "settled down" so.. That being said, telling a woman you're with that you desire to be with other women when you're not looking to end your current relationship is not very intelligent. __________________
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