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Old 08-10-2015, 05:05 PM  
O.city O.city is offline
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Cash bar or foot the bill? Wedding poll
So we're attending a wedding in STL in a few weeks, and instead of footing the bill themselves, it's a cash bar.

What are your thoughts on this?

I kinda think if youre having a big fancy all weekend kinda wedding, pay for the bar tab, but I get it I guess, miney wise.

So, what say you?

Update: read announcement, open bar, all is well
Last edited by O.city; 08-11-2015 at 08:30 PM..
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Old 08-10-2015, 11:38 PM   #256
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Dave Lane invites you over to his house for dinner:

Hey Dave, you got a beer?
I got a better one.

No.
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Old 08-10-2015, 11:39 PM   #257
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i'd figure people would care more about putting the money into the honeymoon.. but as the case for most women... well you fellas can fill that in
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Old 08-10-2015, 11:41 PM   #258
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Originally Posted by Pablo View Post
If you're inviting people to fawn over you and bring you gifts on your special day, you can provide food and booze. Only seems reasonable. Dry weddings suck and cash weddings suck too. Everyone knows this. Booze is the social lubricant and if you want your reception to be enjoyable you should buy some.
Bullshit. My wedding was cash bar and was fun as hell. The reception is all about the band/DJ anyway. If they suck, your reception will suck. Last thing I would want on my special day is a bunch of people getting drunk.

EDIT

One of the first thing our reception planner told us was to never provide free booze at a wedding reception because you then become responsible for all those attendees driving home drunk. With a cash bar you relieve yourself of that responsibility. Maybe that has changed now but that is how it was presented to us back in 92.
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Old 08-10-2015, 11:43 PM   #259
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Old 08-10-2015, 11:44 PM   #260
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this is why i endorse the two on the house and the rest on you policy
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Old 08-10-2015, 11:45 PM   #261
DaneMcCloud DaneMcCloud is offline
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I have a young relative getting married, and overheard a comment that "she was pleased to find a good wedding dress for under $2,000". Two thousand dollars for a dress. Weddings are a bigger scam than bartending.
Try telling that to your daughter, especially if you're a man of means.
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Old 08-10-2015, 11:47 PM   #262
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this is why i endorse the two on the house and the rest on you policy
That seems like a reasonable policy. You're less likely to get sued if someone ends up with a pedestrian lodged in their front grille.
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Old 08-11-2015, 02:58 AM   #263
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Bringing kids to a wedding that aren't invited is just stupid. Some people assume that if they are invited, then their kids are welcome also.
WTF? I would have been disappointed if my friends and family didn't bring their kids.
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Old 08-11-2015, 03:44 AM   #264
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Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts View Post
I would buy no gift. And may not go.
To each their own. But if a friend of mine invites me to their wedding that I can afford to attend, meaning I can afford the travel expenses, I will be there regardless of what the bar setup is. I'm there for my friend not for his liquor.
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Old 08-11-2015, 03:47 AM   #265
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If you don't go to a wedding you are under no obligation to give a wedding gift under etiquette protocols. If you attend—you are—cash bar or not.
I disagree. Of course, if I go to a wedding, I will bring something as a gift. But, this is just speaking for me, for my wedding I did not EXPECT any gifts and I appreciated what we did receive. I didn't think less of anyone nor did I keep track of who and who did not bring a gift. I was just happy they took the time out of their weekend to celebrate our wedding with us.
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Old 08-11-2015, 03:50 AM   #266
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Nothing wrong with that. It is HER day as her side pays for it.
OH, if thats the case then we wouldn't have had a reception at our wedding. That is so damn old school and no longer applies.
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Old 08-11-2015, 04:14 AM   #267
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I don't want to be a cheap bastard for my daughters wedding when the time comes but in no way am I going be able to afford an open bar. So I think getting a keg of beer will just have to do. I doubt I will be drinking it but I want the guest to have a good time. I don't even know how I'm gong pay for my daughters wedding but I don't know when she plans on getting married.
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Old 08-11-2015, 04:22 AM   #268
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keg photo: Beer Keg beerkeg.jpg

I don't want to be a cheap bastard for my daughters wedding when the time comes but in no way am I going be able to afford an open bar. So I think getting a keg of beer will just have to do. I doubt I will be drinking it but I want the guest to have a good time. I don't even know how I'm gong pay for my daughters wedding but I don't know when she plans on getting married.
Yeah, with us being Catholic, we kind of have to do the whole wedding day thing. I would much rather put that money towards the honeymoon or down payment for a house.

Plus, after reading this thread, it sounds like many think the wedding day is more about the alcohol than the couple getting married.
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Old 08-11-2015, 05:03 AM   #269
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Originally Posted by NinerDoug View Post
I went to a wedding a couple weeks ago where the couple contracted everything out (i.e., not at a hotel where you are forced to use their services).

They hired a couple of bartenders, and bought all the booze themselves. It was quite a bit cheaper that way.
That's what we're doing. We're having it at a location where we provide all of our own vendors. We go buy alcohol wholesale from Sam's Club or Costco, hire bartenders, and then return any unopened bottles.

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Having just gotten married, yes they are stupid expensive. Still, hospitality for the guests was the thing I wouldn't budge on. You don't have to serve single malts or anything, but making guests, many of whom have traveled, shell out cash for a couple drinks is weak. Just my opinion.
Agreed. At the rehearsal dinner we're only doing beer and wine (don't need people getting wasted the night before) but then it'll be open bar at the reception.
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Old 08-11-2015, 05:22 AM   #270
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