ARGH! OK, I need opinions please... - Page 9

Vegas_Dave · 07-26-2005, 08:52 PM

My wife works for an orthodontist. As with many dental practices, it is mainly a female environment. In this case, between his 2 offices, the only 2 guys who work there are himself and the other orthodontist he employs.

Most of the women in this office are single and frankly, most of them are downright b*tches.

So the doctor (who is LDS) always like to treat his women to something big at the end of the year. Last year, it was take them all to Celine Dion and a REALLY expensive dinner and then give them each about $1000 that they had to spend on themselves at the Forum at Ceasars.

Sounds great...

This year, I find out that he wants to take all of them to New York for a week, all expenses and shows paid.

Wow, sounds like a nice guy...

Wait for it...

Spouses are not allowed.

This is not a selfish why cant I go thing with me. But my wife and I have 2 very youung boys, 1 & 3 years old. I work my ass off running my family business. She and I have wanted to go to New York together for quite a while. Also, lets keep in mind that she does not get along with most of the women in her office.

Not to mention that in my opinion, any big thing like that or employee party should always be spouses invited (since I am an employer myself).

So is it bad of me to be opposed to her going? Am I wrong in thinking, OK, my wife goes to New York without me, somewhere we have wanted to go together, and I have to work my ass off at work, spend a total of 2 hours per day for a week trekking my 2 boys all over town for babysitting, not to mention then having to be the sole provider for them every waking moment during that time while she is having a blast, Without her husband...

serious opinions needed....

I seriously could bunch the shit out of my walls right now.

**Dartgod** · 07-28-2005, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vegas_Dave

...I will not want to go to NY with her because she did WANT to go without me.

I just re-read this and this part stood out to me. Now it sounds like you are the one who is trying to control this by pouting because you don't get your way.

**morphius** · 07-28-2005, 10:11 AM

I'd let my wife go. Sure I wouldn't be happy about the extra work I would have to do, but really, one week isn't going to kill me.

Coogs · 07-28-2005, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vegas_Dave

Principle. I have to get it across.

Just don't let a matter of principle get in the way of what is really important. You might have your self pride, but someone else may be married to your wife and raising your kids.

Vegas_Dave · 07-28-2005, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mer

it's "not right" that you're stuck with doing all the adult stuff all week?

yah. it's a maturity issue.

obviously, you cant read. the adult stuff isnt an issue.

Katipan · 07-28-2005, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vegas_Dave

obviously, you cant read. the adult stuff isnt an issue.

apparently you have a bad short term memory.

it was one of your little emphasized points.

"If she goes: Then I have to deal with everything for that time as previously mentioned. Not right."

a little pissy for the internet also indicates maturity issues.

bogie · 07-28-2005, 11:02 AM

Dave,
You asked the board for advise. You're getting what you asked for. Unfortunately it seems you don't like what you're hearing. None of us live in your house so we don't know the whole story. However, based on the information we have, I think you need to re-think how you're addressing this situation. DON'T fuck UP YOUR MARRIAGE BECAUSE OF YOUR UNDEVELOPED PRIDE.

RedNFeisty · 07-28-2005, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dartgod

I just re-read this and this part stood out to me. Now it sounds like you are the one who is trying to control this by pouting because you don't get your way.

I agree with Dartgod.

"I wanna go, if I can't go, than neither should you even though the trip is free." "Besides why should you be off playing while I have to take care of the chores for you?" This sounds very selfish and it is the way it would go down in my household. I can somewhat understand the jealousy of the issue, but damn, be happy for your wife and let her experience New York, perhaps in a few years you can both make the trip together.

Now on a side note, I would raise an eyebrow as to why the spouses can not go if they pay their own way. If not going is due to finances, then I think the wife should be "allowed" to go.

Big Dog · 07-28-2005, 11:12 AM

Wow, what a thread. I am certainly wondering how it all turns out.

My 2 cents.

Obviously Dave seems a little frustrated that his wife is going on a trip they had hoped to do together. This is understandable.

As the posts unfolded I became less worried about the 'intent' of the trip, especially when I read the mother-in-law was going. (Of course we are assuming she is a woman of some character)

As a happily married man of 12 years, I would be VERY circumspect of a 'play' trip (as opposed to 'business') that spouses were told NOT to come. Although I certainly understand if they were not paid for. My wife goes to conferences were spouses are ENCOURAGED to come, but are not paid for.

I guess my relationship is kind of like Iowanian's, my wife would not want to go without me. And I, likewise would not want to go without her. This would vary depending on the nature of the trip (fun vs business) and the activity of the trip. (She doesn't want to go to Vegas with me for a weekend of poker). There has never been (and I hope never will be) a trust concern for either of us. (I am too damn ugly, and she is too nice

)

Now as to the cruise being planned by Dave...hey that's just stupid and childish. Without a doubt you are trying to pick a fight because you are pissed and want to exact some satisfactory revenge. Get over it.

What you need to do is to have a long talk with her about your feelings (I know, very un-MAN like)...but I suggest you determine how much of your feelings are based on jealousy and selfishness and how much is true disappointment about missing out on sharing the experience with her.

Oh well...too damn long and certainly too sensitive for a manly man like myself.

KC Kings · 07-28-2005, 11:15 AM

[joke] Dude, she works for a rich doctor that likes to give out expensive gifts. She's probably already banging him, so what does it matter if they run off to NY for a couple days? [/joke]

**Baby Lee** · 07-28-2005, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Trust me, there is no way to build comeroderie in this bunch of women.

Who the heck wants to build a toilet?

WilliamTheIrish · 07-28-2005, 11:20 AM

Let her go.

You're just thinking the worst of the situation.

ChiefsOne · 07-28-2005, 11:28 AM

I think you should encourage her to go. Free trip with expenses paid, you should be happy for her. A little extra work on you part while she is gone, but I am sure you can handle it.

C-Mac · 07-28-2005, 11:40 AM

Just remember, what happens in New York......stays in New York.
Unless of coarse she chooses to bring him home.

Seriously though, I havent read all the posts but I'm with you.
If the tables were turned how would she react with you leaving with a bunch of single guys and a boss woman? That should be enough to help you deem what is fair and proper.

**Fire Me Boy!** · 07-28-2005, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Dog

I guess my relationship is kind of like Iowanian's, my wife would not want to go without me. And I, likewise would not want to go without her.

This is pretty much like my relationship with my wife, and I suspect is like most people's... hell, I don't even like going 45 minutes away to review a movie if she can't go with me. I do, but I'd much rather she go with me. No way would I want to go on a big trip like New York without her.

And I also agree, that the whole cruise thing is just trying to pick a fight... "You did this to me, so **** you, I'll do it back."

**Rain Man** · 07-28-2005, 11:53 AM

I must admit that I still don't see why this whole thing is a problem. It appears that it's only a problem because she's going to a fun place that you want to go to, and you're not invited. If she won a car, would you make her turn it down because you don't get to be in the picture in the newspaper?

07-26-2005, 08:52 PM
Vegas_Dave Veteran Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Las Vegas, NV Casino cash: $-1415280	ARGH! OK, I need opinions please... My wife works for an orthodontist. As with many dental practices, it is mainly a female environment. In this case, between his 2 offices, the only 2 guys who work there are himself and the other orthodontist he employs. Most of the women in this office are single and frankly, most of them are downright b*tches. So the doctor (who is LDS) always like to treat his women to something big at the end of the year. Last year, it was take them all to Celine Dion and a REALLY expensive dinner and then give them each about $1000 that they had to spend on themselves at the Forum at Ceasars. Sounds great... This year, I find out that he wants to take all of them to New York for a week, all expenses and shows paid. Wow, sounds like a nice guy... Wait for it... Spouses are not allowed. This is not a selfish why cant I go thing with me. But my wife and I have 2 very youung boys, 1 & 3 years old. I work my ass off running my family business. She and I have wanted to go to New York together for quite a while. Also, lets keep in mind that she does not get along with most of the women in her office. Not to mention that in my opinion, any big thing like that or employee party should always be spouses invited (since I am an employer myself). So is it bad of me to be opposed to her going? Am I wrong in thinking, OK, my wife goes to New York without me, somewhere we have wanted to go together, and I have to work my ass off at work, spend a total of 2 hours per day for a week trekking my 2 boys all over town for babysitting, not to mention then having to be the sole provider for them every waking moment during that time while she is having a blast, Without her husband... serious opinions needed.... I seriously could bunch the shit out of my walls right now.
Posts: 1,879

07-28-2005, 10:11 AM	#122
morphius World's finest morphius Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $5835027	I'd let my wife go. Sure I wouldn't be happy about the extra work I would have to do, but really, one week isn't going to kill me.
Posts: 26,022

07-28-2005, 11:02 AM	#126
bogie West Coast Chief Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: california Casino cash: $10004900	Dave, You asked the board for advise. You're getting what you asked for. Unfortunately it seems you don't like what you're hearing. None of us live in your house so we don't know the whole story. However, based on the information we have, I think you need to re-think how you're addressing this situation. DON'T fuck UP YOUR MARRIAGE BECAUSE OF YOUR UNDEVELOPED PRIDE.
Posts: 3,562

07-28-2005, 11:12 AM	#128
Big Dog gimme 3 stacks of high society Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Grain Valley, MO Casino cash: $10004900	Wow, what a thread. I am certainly wondering how it all turns out. My 2 cents. Obviously Dave seems a little frustrated that his wife is going on a trip they had hoped to do together. This is understandable. As the posts unfolded I became less worried about the 'intent' of the trip, especially when I read the mother-in-law was going. (Of course we are assuming she is a woman of some character) As a happily married man of 12 years, I would be VERY circumspect of a 'play' trip (as opposed to 'business') that spouses were told NOT to come. Although I certainly understand if they were not paid for. My wife goes to conferences were spouses are ENCOURAGED to come, but are not paid for. I guess my relationship is kind of like Iowanian's, my wife would not want to go without me. And I, likewise would not want to go without her. This would vary depending on the nature of the trip (fun vs business) and the activity of the trip. (She doesn't want to go to Vegas with me for a weekend of poker). There has never been (and I hope never will be) a trust concern for either of us. (I am too damn ugly, and she is too nice ) Now as to the cruise being planned by Dave...hey that's just stupid and childish. Without a doubt you are trying to pick a fight because you are pissed and want to exact some satisfactory revenge. Get over it. What you need to do is to have a long talk with her about your feelings (I know, very un-MAN like)...but I suggest you determine how much of your feelings are based on jealousy and selfishness and how much is true disappointment about missing out on sharing the experience with her. Oh well...too damn long and certainly too sensitive for a manly man like myself. __________________ If you are going to run with the big dogs, you had better learn to pee in the tall grass!
Posts: 236

07-28-2005, 11:15 AM	#129
KC Kings Veteran Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: KC Casino cash: $10004900	[joke] Dude, she works for a rich doctor that likes to give out expensive gifts. She's probably already banging him, so what does it matter if they run off to NY for a couple days? [/joke]
Posts: 4,348

07-28-2005, 11:20 AM	#131
WilliamTheIrish Champion Golfer Of The Year Join Date: Aug 2001 Casino cash: $2620607	Let her go. You're just thinking the worst of the situation.
Posts: 35,754

07-28-2005, 11:28 AM	#132
ChiefsOne Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Springfield, MO Casino cash: $5128192	I think you should encourage her to go. Free trip with expenses paid, you should be happy for her. A little extra work on you part while she is gone, but I am sure you can handle it.
Posts: 2,284

07-28-2005, 11:40 AM	#133
C-Mac Lurker Extraordinaire Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Wally World Casino cash: $-936301	Just remember, what happens in New York......stays in New York. Unless of coarse she chooses to bring him home. Seriously though, I havent read all the posts but I'm with you. If the tables were turned how would she react with you leaving with a bunch of single guys and a boss woman? That should be enough to help you deem what is fair and proper.
Posts: 5,659

07-28-2005, 11:53 AM	#135
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-492449 VARSITY	I must admit that I still don't see why this whole thing is a problem. It appears that it's only a problem because she's going to a fun place that you want to go to, and you're not invited. If she won a car, would you make her turn it down because you don't get to be in the picture in the newspaper? __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,288