Suggestions for Use of Your Economic Stimulus Checks

[Rain Man]

Okay, okay, okay, I just had a brainstorm.

We've got how many active members on this site? Maybe 500? And aside from me not getting a stinking penny from the government I support, you're probably averaging, what, $1,000 each?

People, that's a cool half million dollars that is essentially free money. Think of what we could do with that if we all pooled it together.

Some initial options:

1. We could buy this house in Hawaii and rotate visits. The price would include a fund to cover our taxes and stuff. http://www.realtor.com/realestate/ka...46-1082148666/

2. We could buy this Lamborghini and set up a fund for maintenance. Once a month, it moves to the next member.http://www.cars.com/go/search/detail...eadExists=true

3. Freakin' big naked oil wrestling tournament in either southern California or possibly Thailand. (To clarify, the participants would be women, not us.) Here are some of the potential contestants: http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=23335

4. We could buy this very unusual castle in South Africa: http://www.castles-for-sale.com/sale...rica/index.htm

5. You could sponsor me on a walk around the world, during which time I would create a post of my adventures that would eventually be second only to the girlie thread in size. (Sorry, no link yet, but I'll set up a web site once I get the check.)

6. We could purchase this Henri Matisse painting that is currently up for auction: http://www.christies.com/lotfinder/l...jectID=5074149

7. If we negotiated hard enough, we could hold a party and have both Britney Spears AND Lindsey Lohan attend: http://www.vegaspopular.com/2007/05/...ohan-at-pure/2

8. At $80 per ticket, we could be 6,250 tickets to a Chiefs game next year and then not show up, possibly embarrassing Carl Peterson. http://www.kcchiefs.com/tickets/single/

9. We could have a private concert by *NSYNC. http://www.spinner.com/2007/09/19/bands-for-hire-no-12/

10. We could send a pizza to three chiefsplanet members every day for perpetutity. http://www.papajohns.com/

This is just a small sample. What else can we do with it?

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by VonneMarie

No, no and no.

What about the Spears/Lohan party?

[Adept Havelock]

Originally Posted by Hydrae

Who is kidding who? I want to buzz one of those things at low altitude over Invesco during a game.

I think that would upset folks at Homeland Security. Bad idea, though tempting.

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I'm really liking this plan. We could threaten to go communist and set up a North Korean submarine base unless the U.S. gives us massive foreign aid.

Originally Posted by ClevelandBronco

Massive foreign aid and that Matisse. We'll need a cultural component to give us legitimacy.

I don't know about North Korea. Kim Il Runt gives me the creeps, and I really hate Kimchee. How about Cuba? We can offer it in return for Rum and Cigars? After they deliver the first shipment, we make the deal with the US for foreign aid. Then we'll have the foreign aid, the Matisse, the rum, and cigars!

Yes, Dane. We can make part of the island non-smoking.

Originally Posted by VonneMarie

No, no and no.

Spoilsport. What do you want to spend it on?

[Baby Lee]

Get drunk and steal Matt Drudge's hat?

[VonneMarie]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

What about the Spears/Lohan party?

Hellz no.

[ChiefaRoo]

Let's throw a party and buy all the hot chicks we can find trashy lingerie and cristal.

[ClevelandBronco]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

We shall hang the Matisse in the rotunda of our new Capitol.

But then we need to threaten to burn it unless we get even more massive aid from the U.S.

And France. Matisse was French, right?

Then we need to buy a great work of art that was done by an Englishman...

Okay, forget that part of the plan.

Still, we can extort Russia, Italy and Spain as long as we buy properly.

[Adept Havelock]

Originally Posted by ClevelandBronco

But then we need to threaten to burn it unless we get even more massive aid from the U.S.

And France. Matisse was French, right?

Then we need to buy a great work of art that was done by an Englishman...

Okay, forget that part of the plan.

Still, we can extort Russia, Italy and Spain as long as we buy properly.

We could use some of the aid to buy a Shakespeare folio. That gives us leverage over the British. I'm not sure why we want it, but it might come in handy later.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Adept Havelock

I don't know about North Korea. Kim Il Runt gives me the creeps, and I really hate Kimchee. How about Cuba? We can offer it in return for Rum and Cigars? After they deliver the first shipment, we make the deal with the US for foreign aid. Then we'll have the foreign aid, the Matisse, the rum, and cigars!

I dunno. If you're going to deal with Cuba, it seems kind of lame to deal with Castro's little brother. I think we missed the boat on that one. How about Venezuela? That'll get some attention.

[Adept Havelock]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I dunno. If you're going to deal with Cuba, it seems kind of lame to deal with Castro's little brother. I think we missed the boat on that one. How about Venezuela? That'll get some attention.

Good call, but what can they offer to compete with Cuban cigars?

How about Brazil? We can build them a training facility/residence for their professional beach Volleyball team. Then we nationalize them.

Besides...Sport and Art will give us a legitimate cultural base, right?

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by ChiefaRoo

Let's throw a party and buy all the hot chicks we can find trashy lingerie and cristal.

There's time for that after we finish our nationbuilding.

Hey, maybe we can develop a taxing system that is regressive based on bust-to-waist ratio. That way we could be a tax haven for supermodels. It'd be great for economic development.

[Adept Havelock]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

There's time for that after we finish our nationbuilding.

Hey, maybe we can develop a taxing system that is regressive based on bust-to-waist ratio. That way we could be a tax haven for supermodels. It'd be great for economic development.

I hereby nominate Rain Man for Finance Minister!

Honestly, we should just buy our own house next to Arrowhead and make it into a tailgating/party mecca. Hire some poor contractor to come in and completely revamp the whole thing. People can stay there when they come in town for games and the entire ChiefsPlanet.com tailgate moves from B5 to there. Then at 11:30 on Sunday mornings we run shuttles back and forth until everybody is seated.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Adept Havelock

I hereby nominate Rain Man for Finance Minister!

To make up for the bust-to-waist-ratio regressive tax, I plan to install an enormous tax on supportive undergarments.

[Adept Havelock]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

To make up for the bust-to-waist-ratio regressive tax, I plan to install an enormous tax on supportive undergarments.

I like it from both a financial and sartorial POV.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Phobia

Honestly, we should just buy our own house next to Arrowhead and make it into a tailgating/party mecca. Hire some poor contractor to come in and completely revamp the whole thing. People can stay there when they come in town for games and the entire ChiefsPlanet.com tailgate moves from B5 to there. Then at 11:30 on Sunday mornings we run shuttles back and forth until everybody is seated.

Could it also serve as a supermodel tax haven?