Food and Drink Why do I do it to myself? - Page 7

Hootie · 04-10-2009, 07:31 AM

I went to the movies last night...bought a large tub of popcorn...extra extra butter...lots of salt...(I was a little drunk) and proceeded to max out on the thing and eat 80% of it (way too much)...

Right now I am so uncomfortable...I can't move. This has happened before. One time in high school I had mono, and it was the worst month long feeling I've ever had.

I compare this feeling to what, at that time, felt like my deathbed. I can't quite describe it...my stomach feels awful...if I move I feel like I'm going to vomit...and all I can taste is that disgusting butter taste and it makes me think of that popcorn which in turn makes me want to vomit even more.

And then I look around at my apartment that apparently went through a mini tornado last night and my roommates dirty dishes which again, make me want to vomit and off myself.

I hate life right now.

**DeezNutz** · 04-10-2009, 08:58 AM

I have to take a piss.

Hootie, please put your face next to your monitor.

Hootie · 04-10-2009, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeezNutz

My college experience also had shades of Animal House, but I can say with all certainty that I've never had another man "sneak" into the shower with me. Frankly, I'm not sure such "sneakery" is possible...

I've showered in a small shower with 4 different guys at the same time...butt to butt 10 seconds under the shower head...not peen to peen...butt to butt...that's some funny stuff. Butt to peen is also a major no-no...

Dude I've showered probably 10 times with Steve (my roommate for 5 years) using that butt to butt approach to save time.

I'm REALLY not afraid of anyone on this site thinking I'm gay. And I'll tell these stories to anyone, girls included...and in all honesty, they do a lot more good than damage. Girls tend to find stories like these hilarious.

keg in kc · 04-10-2009, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins

I have a very close group of friends I've known since I was 7 or 8 years old. We played sports together, drank together, we've passed out in the same bed together.

I've never seen any one of them piss or shit, I've never touched their piss or shit, and I've never seen, nor attempted to see, their dicks.

And that's why we call you 'Hamas' instead of Frootie.

**notorious** · 04-10-2009, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins

I have a very close group of friends I've known since I was 7 or 8 years old. We played sports together, drank together, we've passed out in the same bed together.

I've never seen any one of them piss or shit, I've never touched their piss or shit, and I've never seen, nor attempted to see, their dicks.

x2

Hootie · 04-10-2009, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins

I have a very close group of friends I've known since I was 7 or 8 years old. We played sports together, drank together, we've passed out in the same bed together.

I've never seen any one of them piss or shit, I've never touched their piss or shit, and I've never seen, nor attempted to see, their dicks.

I can't remember the last time any of my roommates closed the door to shit...shit, half the time one of us is showering while another one is shitting...makes for great conversation.

The funny thing is...a guy from downstairs will come up and he absolutely refuses to look at any of our dicks when we're walking around...and we all call him gay

I've seen Steve jam a toothpick in his peehole for shock value.

and I've had these same friends since I moved to Illinois when I was 12...

Katipan · 04-10-2009, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins

I have a very close group of friends I've known since I was 7 or 8 years old. We played sports together, drank together, we've passed out in the same bed together.

I've never seen any one of them piss or shit, I've never touched their piss or shit, and I've never seen, nor attempted to see, their dicks.

Apparently you don't know what you're missing

'Hamas' Jenkins · 04-10-2009, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hootie

I can't remember the last time any of my roommates closed the door to shit...shit, half the time one of us is showering while another one is shitting...makes for great conversation.

The funny thing is...a guy from downstairs will come up and he absolutely refuses to look at any of our dicks when we're walking around...and we all call him gay

I've seen Steve jam a toothpick in his peehole for shock value.

and I've had these same friends since I moved to Illinois when I was 12...

**DeezNutz** · 04-10-2009, 09:04 AM

Way too high of comfort level at the Hootie home.

Red Beans · 04-10-2009, 09:04 AM

When I was in college I would wait for my roommate to shower before I went and took a shit. I did that to him every time I could. I'd have to plead with him. "Dude c'mon I've really got to shit. No I didnt do this on purpose." etc. There's a lot of satisfaction to be gleaned from shitting a foot from where someone's trying to clean themselves... I'd always ask him after I was done if he wanted me to flush and scald him or leave the mess. He chose the scalding every time...

keg in kc · 04-10-2009, 09:05 AM

Next he's going tell us how he's passed-out with a dick in his mouth and a dick in his ass, and one in either hand, but that's not nearly as bad as seeing a girl pee.

Hootie · 04-10-2009, 09:06 AM

Man, when Steve and I tell these stories to co-workers (we've worked together in Champaign/Normal and Chicago)...girls find them ridiculously funny. I don't know what it is...the whole bromance thing? But NONE of them ever think we're gay...or even question it...and I've learned when you hang out with the same people on a daily basis...girls are going to go for the guys they find funny and personable...so if these stories make me funny and personable to them and get me laid...awesome.

**DeezNutz** · 04-10-2009, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by keg in kc

Next he's going tell us how he's passed-out with a dick in his mouth and a dick in his ass, and one in either hand, but that's not nearly as bad as seeing a girl pee.

What's the big deal? There's mouth wash. /Hootie/

'Hamas' Jenkins · 04-10-2009, 09:06 AM

Anyone here ever study Abnormal Psych?

**DeezNutz** · 04-10-2009, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins

Anyone here ever study Abnormal Psych?

WTF am I doing on this board?

**ChiTown** · 04-10-2009, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins

Anyone here ever study Abnormal Psych?

Yes

Starting with the original post.........

04-10-2009, 07:31 AM
Hootie Banned Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas, Texas Casino cash: $10004900	Why do I do it to myself? I went to the movies last night...bought a large tub of popcorn...extra extra butter...lots of salt...(I was a little drunk) and proceeded to max out on the thing and eat 80% of it (way too much)... Right now I am so uncomfortable...I can't move. This has happened before. One time in high school I had mono, and it was the worst month long feeling I've ever had. I compare this feeling to what, at that time, felt like my deathbed. I can't quite describe it...my stomach feels awful...if I move I feel like I'm going to vomit...and all I can taste is that disgusting butter taste and it makes me think of that popcorn which in turn makes me want to vomit even more. And then I look around at my apartment that apparently went through a mini tornado last night and my roommates dirty dishes which again, make me want to vomit and off myself. I hate life right now.
Posts: 56,356

04-10-2009, 09:04 AM	#99
Red Beans Not dead yet... Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Indian Creek Casino cash: $1679903	When I was in college I would wait for my roommate to shower before I went and took a shit. I did that to him every time I could. I'd have to plead with him. "Dude c'mon I've really got to shit. No I didnt do this on purpose." etc. There's a lot of satisfaction to be gleaned from shitting a foot from where someone's trying to clean themselves... I'd always ask him after I was done if he wanted me to flush and scald him or leave the mess. He chose the scalding every time...
Posts: 2,796

04-10-2009, 09:05 AM	#100
keg in kc oxymoron Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: OP/KC/Whatever Casino cash: $9556299	Next he's going tell us how he's passed-out with a dick in his mouth and a dick in his ass, and one in either hand, but that's not nearly as bad as seeing a girl pee.
Posts: 58,682

04-10-2009, 09:06 AM	#101
Hootie Banned Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas, Texas Casino cash: $10004900	Man, when Steve and I tell these stories to co-workers (we've worked together in Champaign/Normal and Chicago)...girls find them ridiculously funny. I don't know what it is...the whole bromance thing? But NONE of them ever think we're gay...or even question it...and I've learned when you hang out with the same people on a daily basis...girls are going to go for the guys they find funny and personable...so if these stories make me funny and personable to them and get me laid...awesome.
Posts: 56,356

04-10-2009, 09:06 AM	#103
'Hamas' Jenkins Now you've pissed me off! Join Date: Jan 2006 Casino cash: $7249572	Anyone here ever study Abnormal Psych? __________________ "When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read 'all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics.' When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretense of loving liberty – to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocrisy.”--Abraham Lincoln
Posts: 75,077