Food and Drink Hate licking envelopes? Not any more!

**Dartgod** · 11-20-2009, 01:55 PM

I present to you....

Bacon flavored envelope adhesive!

Quote:

Technology has given us a lot lately. The car. TV. X-rays. The refrigerator. The Internet. Heck, we even cured polio. But what have our envelopes tasted like for the last 4,000 years? Armpit, that’s what.

Really, people? If we can’t overcome this kind of minor technical challenge, it’s only a matter of time until some super-advanced race of aliens with lasers, spaceships and a delicious federal mail system comes down and colonizes the world. And nobody wants that (except for the aliens, of course).

So, after thousands of years and kajillions of horrible tasting envelopes licked, we’re happy to report that J&D’s Bacon-Flavored Mmmvelopes™ are here to save the day. No longer will envelopes taste like the underside of your car. You can enjoy the taste of delicious bacon instead.

That’s right, bacon. It’s not real bacon, mind you, so you won’t have to start storing your envelopes in the refrigerator. But it really does taste like bacon. Which is what you really wanted in the first place, isn’t it? And it only took us 4,000 years to get there. Eat that, alien invaders.

http://www.jdfoods.net/products/mmmvelopes.php

**Iowanian** · 11-20-2009, 01:57 PM

A small piece of sponge and a small glass of water works pretty damn well too if you're doing bulk.

After stuffing a couple of thousand bacon flavored envelops, even a foodaholic wouldn't be able to eat an baconator again.

CoMoChief · 11-20-2009, 02:00 PM

Got a Pit Bull problem in your neighborhood?

Soak up some bacon grease in a sponge and throw it over the fence where the Pit Bull lives.

No more Pit Bulls.

Demonpenz · 11-20-2009, 02:04 PM

i had to google why you would want to send mail. I haven't sent mail for a decade

Tylerthigpen!1! · 11-20-2009, 02:05 PM

never understood people's obsession with bacon

seclark · 11-20-2009, 02:06 PM

$6.99 for a pack of 25?
i'll just stick my Christmas cards in between a couple crisp slices of real bacon, thanks.
sec

**Dartgod** · 11-20-2009, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demonpenz

i had to google why you would want to send mail. I haven't sent mail for a decade

Because now it tastes like BACON!

Hydrae · 11-20-2009, 02:08 PM

It is about time. I have wondered for years why we don't have better flavored envelopes. Of course nowadays we need scratch and sniff e-mail I suppose.

Simply Red · 11-20-2009, 02:29 PM

**Iowanian** · 11-20-2009, 02:32 PM

This product is offensive to Muslims.

I'm glad I don't work there....

**Rain Man** · 11-20-2009, 02:37 PM

You'd think the mailman's union would strongly oppose this. So now the mailman has to walk past dogs while smelling like bacon?

DMAC · 11-20-2009, 02:38 PM

After the Bacon Explosion, nothing "bacon related" really shocks me anymore.

Hydrae · 11-20-2009, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

You'd think the mailman's union would strongly oppose this. So now the mailman has to walk past dogs while smelling like bacon?

Excellent point.

Leave it to Rainman to see things slightly differently than the rest of us.

**Dartgod** · 11-20-2009, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

You'd think the mailman's union would strongly oppose this. So now the mailman has to walk past dogs while smelling like bacon?

Oooooo! Good point! I could see a sudden increase of dog attacking mailman incidents if this idea takes off.

**Rain Man** · 11-20-2009, 02:59 PM

Given the dog-mailman connection, is this actually part of a nefarious terrorist plot to stop the mail and keep us from getting our CapitolOne ads and Crate & Barrel catalogs, thus grinding the economy to a halt? The fact that they're using bacon is likely a clue that they're trying to destroy us via the very things that they find unholy about our culture.

11-20-2009, 01:57 PM	#2
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4638454	A small piece of sponge and a small glass of water works pretty damn well too if you're doing bulk. After stuffing a couple of thousand bacon flavored envelops, even a foodaholic wouldn't be able to eat an baconator again.
Posts: 61,556

11-20-2009, 02:00 PM	#3
CoMoChief Mahomes Dynasty Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Parts Unknown Casino cash: $8032254	Got a Pit Bull problem in your neighborhood? Soak up some bacon grease in a sponge and throw it over the fence where the Pit Bull lives. No more Pit Bulls.
Posts: 39,164

11-20-2009, 02:04 PM	#4
Demonpenz Woman should only make babies Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $2962136	i had to google why you would want to send mail. I haven't sent mail for a decade __________________
Posts: 54,298

11-20-2009, 02:05 PM	#5
Tylerthigpen!1! Starter Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Arkansas Casino cash: $8055815	never understood people's obsession with bacon
Posts: 830

11-20-2009, 02:06 PM	#6
seclark MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: nemo Casino cash: $1419900	$6.99 for a pack of 25? i'll just stick my Christmas cards in between a couple crisp slices of real bacon, thanks. sec __________________ "Mr. seclark. Wrong for gravy, wrong for jelly, wrong for biscuits." -rj "If every Planeteer who was disliked by another Planeteer stopped being a Planeteer we wouldn't have any Planeteers." -rj
Posts: 13,402

11-20-2009, 02:08 PM	#8
Hydrae Sandbox: Leander Lasercats Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Austin, Tx Casino cash: $2057000	It is about time. I have wondered for years why we don't have better flavored envelopes. Of course nowadays we need scratch and sniff e-mail I suppose.
Posts: 14,695

11-20-2009, 02:29 PM	#9
Simply Red You Sweetie! Join Date: Sep 2005 Casino cash: $2021206219 VARSITY
Posts: 71,691

11-20-2009, 02:32 PM	#10
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4638454	This product is offensive to Muslims. I'm glad I don't work there....
Posts: 61,556

11-20-2009, 02:37 PM	#11
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3048491 VARSITY	You'd think the mailman's union would strongly oppose this. So now the mailman has to walk past dogs while smelling like bacon? __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,662

11-20-2009, 02:38 PM	#12
DMAC MVP Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Springfield, MO Casino cash: $10008735	After the Bacon Explosion, nothing "bacon related" really shocks me anymore.
Posts: 11,651

11-20-2009, 02:59 PM	#15
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3048491 VARSITY	Given the dog-mailman connection, is this actually part of a nefarious terrorist plot to stop the mail and keep us from getting our CapitolOne ads and Crate & Barrel catalogs, thus grinding the economy to a halt? The fact that they're using bacon is likely a clue that they're trying to destroy us via the very things that they find unholy about our culture. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,662