Other women.

[Micjones]

I had a discussion last night with my girlfriend about a relationship dilemma one of her closest friends is faced with. These kinds of conversations often serve as firestarters. If a man is too candid he can often represent an opinion that will be superimposed onto his own relationship.

So the two of us were talking about the process of a man "settling down".

I told her about a song I'd been listening to that gives the male perspective of this process. A skit preceded the song. In that skit a man lays out his account of how men always wrestle with the urge to sleep with other women. It was an "inside" conversation. The language was brash, but it was something most men could identify and stand in agreement with. Needless to say, she was repulsed by the idea that men are often desirous of other women. So now I'm in an odd position of having to answer to her about my own desires. I think women have these heart-warming ideas that a man who has committed himself to her no longer has an eye for other women. I think that's patently false.

Gents when you settled down to a monogamous relationship...
Was that a by-product of having sewn your oats or are you simply managing the urge to sleep with other women?

In taking to older male friends I've been told time and time again that the desire to be with other women never goes away...you just manage it for fidelity's sake.

True or false?

[trndobrd]

Originally Posted by rageeumr

The primal, instinctive urge never goes away. It might even get worse. But, in my case at least, it's repressed by my love for my wife, the desire to give the kids a stable family and the hesitance to lose half (or more) of my shit.

This.

I would add that at a certain point, you find that smoking hot 24 year old aerobics instructor types are just not that into you any more.

[Micjones]

Originally Posted by stevieray

for me, those receptors turned off a long time ago.

then again, my wife is hot and I'm in love with her, so it's never been a problem.


....i think it boils down to getting what you need, and taking your commitment seriously..current culture pimps a throwaway society, including relationships.

I tend to agree. I think anyone who enters into a monogamous relationship is responsible for denying those proclivities for the sake of that commitment. I just don't think a man is a scumbag for having very natural human urges here and there that extend past his partner. It's whether or not he acts on those urges that matters.

[Micjones]

Originally Posted by DaKCMan AP

That being said, telling a woman you're with that you desire to be with other women when you're not looking to end your current relationship is not very intelligent.

Not quite how I said it.
In fact, I never said a word about my own struggle.
I was speaking about men in general.

[Micjones]

Originally Posted by tooge

btw, you violated man code by speaking to her about this you know.

I know.

[stevieray]

Originally Posted by Micjones

I tend to agree. I think anyone who enters into a monogamous relationship is responsible for denying those proclivities for the sake of that commitment. I just don't think a man is a scumbag for having very natural human urges here and there that extend past his partner. It's whether or not he acts on those urges that matters.

....well said.

[Demonpenz]

Wait till she finds out who's beent texting 281-330-8004

[Brock]

Next time, just nod and say "yeah, that rotten bastard".

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by Demonpenz

Wait till she finds out who's beent texting 281-330-8004

WHO!?!

[Sofa King]

Originally Posted by Demonpenz

Wait till she finds out who's beent texting 281-330-8004

Before i dial that, is it just texting, or sexting?

[luv]

As the guy in the McDonald's ad says..."He's a jerk."

You're safe without revealing anything about your own thoughts as to whether you agree with him.

[Nzoner]

Originally Posted by tooge

btw, you violated man code by speaking to her about this you know.

If my years have given me any wisdom to pass on to those younger than I it's when a woman asks you to share your feelings with her DO NOT go into detail and DO NOT think she has your best interests at heart.

[Pants]

100% with you, Mic.

I've been honest like that before and it's always a little awkward. I just explain that it's an instinct hardwired deep in every man's psyche and it's just something that's always there. Doesn't mean that I don't love her or love her any less and doesn't mean that I'm going to cheat on her. Weak men give in to the instinct, the strong ones don't.

[FAX]

Women can be very seductive and it's difficult for men to say, "no" to extreme hotness. The word, "no" and extreme hotness just don't go together well.

But, you can own a Renoir and still admire a van Gogh. The museum probably won't let you touch it, though.

FAX

[scho63]

Desires never go away but a great GF or Wife can suppress those desires greatly by taking care of their man. Men who get great sex at home rarely cheat.

Also, women always claim they want to be open, share your feelings and the truth but the moment you let the cat out of the bag, it's a bad decision. You learned a good lesson and in the future, you probably should hold some things in reserve.

[tooge]

Originally Posted by scho63

Desires never go away but a great GF or Wife can suppress those desires greatly by taking care of their man. Men who get great sex at home rarely cheat.

Also, women always claim they want to be open, share your feelings and the truth but the moment you let the cat out of the bag, it's a bad decision. You learned a good lesson and in the future, you probably should hold some things in reserve.

Lets be very clear here. A great GF or Wife feels bad for your repressed feelings and asks her hottest friend to come over for a threesome with you.